Struggling mum of 2 - where do I turn for help??

NickyBat

Hey, just thought i would check back and see of you spoke to the csa and tax credits yesterday?

chubbs1981

Just to counter what someone said do not change the locks until given court approval. If he still has a name on the deeds he has the right to enter the house. He sounds like a genuine scumbag so would gladly bring the police around un such circumstance and add more problems for you

Kimitatsu

chubbs1981 wrote: »

Just to counter what someone said do not change the locks until given court approval. If he still has a name on the deeds he has the right to enter the house. He sounds like a genuine scumbag so would gladly bring the police around un such circumstance and add more problems for you

No one suggested changing the locks but she can get a restraining order from him entering the property uninvited if he continues to do so.

chubbs1981

Post #19 suggested changing the locking mechanism. As for restraining order for Entering uninvited? He doesn't need to be invited if it's still his house and no legal paperwork states otherwise tenacy agreement etc

As for restraing order that is dangerous ground. Needs accusation of threatening or abusive/violent behaviour not just accessing his own property as he wishes. Or for the civil route proving his actions are that which a normal person would consider harassment. Again claiming a normal person would consider access to their own property is harassment is hard. Not to mention the cost of serving the writ and the court appearance which he would probably turn up too with a top notch high cost brief

chubbs1981

Also she would have to prove his actions constituted harrasemt on two separate occasions. There are clauses he could claim to
Justify entering I.e retrieval of property or and this I'd the easiest one to prevent or detect a crime I.e criminal damage to things he has in the house (clothes, furniture etc)

magicstrawberry

No advice im afraid just my best wishes (((hug)))

Kimitatsu

chubbs1981 wrote: »

Post #19 suggested changing the locking mechanism. As for restraining order for Entering uninvited? He doesn't need to be invited if it's still his house and no legal paperwork states otherwise tenacy agreement etc

As for restraing order that is dangerous ground. Needs accusation of threatening or abusive/violent behaviour not just accessing his own property as he wishes. Or for the civil route proving his actions are that which a normal person would consider harassment. Again claiming a normal person would consider access to their own property is harassment is hard. Not to mention the cost of serving the writ and the court appearance which he would probably turn up too with a top notch high cost brief

Chubbs - please do not try to derail this thread.

The OP has a solicitor which she has been advised to ask advice from. As for harrassment, then I dont think that retrievel of property can be included in sleeping in the OP's bed whilst she is out of the country - which was why she felt uncomfortable. If the act is for harrassment (which does not need to be of a physical nature) then she would be entitled to legal aid, therefore trying to scare them by telling her the ex would turn up with a top notch legal brief is unfair. For her to bring a restraining order for harrassment, she only needs to feel afraid and that he may physically harm her or the children to bring a case.

The OP has not been told to change the locks - I agree with you his name is on the deeds and so he can peacefully enter the property, but she has a right of abode and has the right to live there without harrassment. I cant remember the legal term for it - its early and I need more coffee!

I think at the moment the OP just is concentrating on getting through Christmas, and then the housing situation can be reviewed in the New Year.

chubbs1981

Kimitatsu wrote: »

Chubbs - please do not try to derail this thread.

The OP has a solicitor which she has been advised to ask advice from. As for harrassment, then I dont think that retrievel of property can be included in sleeping in the OP's bed whilst she is out of the country - which was why she felt uncomfortable. If the act is for harrassment (which does not need to be of a physical nature) then she would be entitled to legal aid, therefore trying to scare them by telling her the ex would turn up with a top notch legal brief is unfair. For her to bring a restraining order for harrassment, she only needs to feel afraid and that he may physically harm her or the children to bring a case.

1. the op is concerned with getting no cash the point of my post was not as you claim to derail the thread but to stop her doing things that could slow down any payments. a restraining order or a failed restraining order would be all the justification he needs to refuse to pay on the basis she is trying to refuse him access (regardless of the fact he doesn't want it) People like him are concerend with 1 thing money and being selfish and he'll pounce on any opportunity to save it. This will no doubt hold things up it probably wouldn't stop the csa but could buy him a few weeks/months which he can afford and the OP can't.

2. I think you need to the read the 1997 protection from harassment act. http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1997/40/contents

for a crimial case the order would be free but would require a complaint to the police. 2 a civil order would require a lower level of proof (both ways). however they don't approve orders like this very easily she would still need to convince the court his actions constituted harassment under section 1 of the act. If she is unable to convince the court that his actions were harassment on two occasions it would fail. i.e sleeping in her bed while she was away. his claim could be i stayed in the house while she was away as there had been a spate of crime in the area and i didn't want the property empty or i took the opportunity of the empty house to avoid confrontation to see if any remedial work needed to be carried out and by the time i had completed it i was tired so decided it was unwise for me to drive following government and police guidlines on driving whilst tired so decided to sleep. i made sure i left the house before she returned to fulfill my intention of not causing confrontation.

Either way it would require going to court where he has the choice to defend against the allegation and if you think me pointing out that someone with a "playboy" lifestyle wouldn't turn up with a top notch brief is unfair then you are completely naive.

This guy as i said sounds like a scumbag and he'll do anything to avoid paying and there is loads he can and probably will do after the settlement to avoid paying but at present anything he can claim to slow down the claim he will.

Mojisola

Kimitatsu wrote: »

The OP has a solicitor which she has been advised to ask advice from. As for harrassment, then I dont think that retrievel of property can be included in sleeping in the OP's bed whilst she is out of the country - which was why she felt uncomfortable. If the act is for harrassment (which does not need to be of a physical nature) then she would be entitled to legal aid, therefore trying to scare them by telling her the ex would turn up with a top notch legal brief is unfair. For her to bring a restraining order for harrassment, she only needs to feel afraid and that he may physically harm her or the children to bring a case.

I would be tempted to leave a big sign on the bed whenever I'm away from the house saying "If you're going to f*** in my bed, at least bring your own sheets!"

Kimitatsu

chubbs1981 wrote: »

1. the op is concerned with getting no cash the point of my post was not as you claim to derail the thread but to stop her doing things that could slow down any payments. a restraining order or a failed restraining order would be all the justification he needs to refuse to pay on the basis she is trying to refuse him access (regardless of the fact he doesn't want it) People like him are concerend with 1 thing money and being selfish and he'll pounce on any opportunity to save it. This will no doubt hold things up it probably wouldn't stop the csa but could buy him a few weeks/months which he can afford and the OP can't.

She has already put in a claim with the CSA for the maintenance that she is owed - putting in an application for anything else would not affect that one iota! He has already avoided payment for 10 months so I think it is safe to assume that he has no intention of paying unless forced to by a DEO.

She wont be offered money any other way from him, as I agree with you that he patently is only interested in getting all the money he can from this.

Either way it would require going to court where he has the choice to defend against the allegation and if you think me pointing out that someone with a "playboy" lifestyle wouldn't turn up with a top notch brief is unfair then you are completely naive.

Thanks for the vote of confidence :cool: but actually my point was that she could claim harrassment if he continued to let himself in at all times without notice and at inconvenient times. Oh and by the way I know of at least two cases that are currently in custody for exhibiting threatening behaviour whilst entering the property to harrass their partners into leaving a property. As I said the OP could ask for an ex parte hearing if she is scared of seeing him in court - nothing to do with his playboy lifestyle, more the fact that the OP is emotionally vulnerable and fragile which has an effect on the family unit as a whole. I agree its not a course she wants to go down but if he is going to enter the property and use emotional abuse to scare her into leaving the property then it is harrassment. Under criminal law, the act does not have had to have taken place for the person to BELIEVE that they were under serious threat of harm.

As he is trying to get her to move out of the property as soon as possible, without recourse to legal proceedings then I think that all avenues should be explored dont you? But that could just be me being naive......