Can ex wife change child contact arrangements?

fizz

I understand the frustration that you and your partner are feeling about this but if she is the prc she can basically call the shots (without a court order). Could your partner speak to her and ask (grovel lol) if he could spend Xmas Day with them at her place? The problem that he may have, is that although the children are asking to spend time with their Dad, the mom may see this as Dad 'influencing' the kids....so she is digging her heels in. Also does Mom have a OH? If she doesn't then she may resent the fact that you and your OH are playing 'happy families' with her kids, even though you aren't!

BARGAINHUNTER!

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Jinx

This is a horrible situation.... Although this situation was 'caused' by christmas, I think it might be helpful to separate the issues, the first is the access and should she be able to change it at will? Obviously we here are all agreed it is 'no' and I hope you get that sorted. The light at the end of the tunnel is that for every year the children get older the less say the mother will have on access. The second thing - Christmas itself is an exceptional event in that everyone wants the children. Myself, others and you yourself have ideas of how this could work - I think the parents really need to have a chat somewhere neutral. I don't doubt anything you have said, but the ex is obviously on a differ agenda.

Hope it all works and you have a very merry christmas!

fizz

I'm not 'legally aware' but if she is the prc then I think she can call the shots-maybe someone with better knowledge will be along shortly. I really hope that this can be sorted out for you all very soon. pm me if you want to vent, I know it's a b!!tch!xx

fizz

Just had a thought-has your OH got a order/deed of separation? (Soz can't remember what it's called} Usually about finances, but mite help?

BARGAINHUNTER!

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fizz

Ok,it won't help. Soz. But his Absolute is due? Then he can lay the law down. Wish I could wave a magic wand-it is such an awful situation for all concerned.xx

swingaloo

If she is the parent with care then yes , unfair though it is, she can call the shots. Even if he had a court order she could still be as 'awkward' as she likes about contact. The solution would be sit down and talk it out sensibly, put personal issues to one side and be civil to each other for the kids sake.

My partner is not using the kids as pawns at all and never has done - he is very respectful of what they want to do and they want contact to remain the same as it is. If they turned round and said they only wanted to see him one day a week it would hurt, but he would respect their wishes and take it no further. This isn't about what the adults want its about what the children want and they want things to stay the same

I would imagine that if you think it through that what the children really want is for mum and dad to grow up, cease hostilities and stop making them feel they have to agree with whichever parent they are with at the time. Presumably the mum will be saying that the kids want things her way as well. They must be torn trying to please both parents.
Whilst the children are old enough to have a say in how they feel and what they want it is really for the parents to lay the foundations for how things will work. If the children are taking the responsibility for having a say in the arrangements then they will feel to blame when the parents argue about them.

BARGAINHUNTER!

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BARGAINHUNTER!

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