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Can ex wife change child contact arrangements?
BARGAINHUNTER!
Posts: 848 Forumite
post deleted
MFW 2011 challenge - Aim: Overpay £414.26 a month/£5,000 a year. Overpayment Total to date: £414.26:jMortgage start 28/9/07 £46,217.00 :TMortgage balance as of 25/05/11 £24,490.58 :T
Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months
Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months
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Comments
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Unfortunately some bitter ex's use their kids as weapons - especially at this time of year
In answer to your question, yes she can change arrangements (out of pure spite obvs :mad:)however she is breaking a court order and as such your partner would need to go back to the courts....which of course is going to take time *sigh*
How old are the kids? Are they old enough to tell their Mum what they want (which is presumably to spend it with Dad?)...if not, he needs to get on to the court tomorrow and get an emergency meeting and try and get this sorted in time for Christmas.
Poor hubby....I absolutely cannot STAND Mother's that use their kids in this way and think they are God dictating when the Dad can see them...they should be ashamed - in fact I am ashamed to be a woman sometimes.
Good luck OP and always remember that kids aren't kids for long and they will always appreciate that their Dad tried his best by them...what they would make of a Mum who tries to meddle in a child/Dad relationship is anyone's guess but there are plenty kids who are disgusted by it and no longer have their Mum in their lives because of it.0 -
What happened last year, or is this the first year?
Christmas and special occasions are usually either split, or it's one year on, one year off, not necessarily to do with weekends etc.
Not sure if this is in the agreement, but certainly being Christmas doees make a difference.
If they are old enough for him to have asked their opinion, then they must be at least 11ish (guessing)?Forever I will sail towards the horizon with you0 -
I think most divorced parents would agree that the xmas hols do not follow normal access arrangements. Both parents have families and everyone wants to see the children.
You have to find a compromise that everyone can live with.
In our family my daughter stayed with her dad on xmas eve, opened her pressies there on xmas morning and he would then bring her home about lunchtime and he stayed while she opened the pressies at my house. She had xmas dinner with my family and I (he went home for his) and we had her boxing day. It worked that way for years and even though shes now at uni, shes keeping to this 'tradition'. Good luck
Light Bulb Moment - 11th Nov 2004 - Debt Free Day - 25th Mar 2011 :j0 -
post deletedMFW 2011 challenge - Aim: Overpay £414.26 a month/£5,000 a year. Overpayment Total to date: £414.26:jMortgage start 28/9/07 £46,217.00 :TMortgage balance as of 25/05/11 £24,490.58 :T
Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months0 -
post deletedMFW 2011 challenge - Aim: Overpay £414.26 a month/£5,000 a year. Overpayment Total to date: £414.26:jMortgage start 28/9/07 £46,217.00 :TMortgage balance as of 25/05/11 £24,490.58 :T
Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months0 -
BARGAINHUNTER! wrote: »The arrangements were not done by court order it was by mutual consent via solicitors. My partner has a letter that his ex wifes solicitor sent to his saying that the new arrangements are working well. The children are 9 and yes they are old enough to tell their parents what they want. They have said many a time that the way things are now is fair as they get to see mum and dad equal amounts (not quite as you can't split a week in half equally as it has 7 days) but they see it as half the time and are happy with that. They don't want to spend less time with either parent. When Christmas was mentioned to them and the fact that it fell when they were with their Dad the first thing they asked was if Mum could come over, which of course the answer was yes.
The ex I would imagine would not want to spend Christmas with you two unless she was one heck of a special woman (I have a friend who does the same and good on her, but its not the norm), so I would still see Christmas as special and outside the normal arrangements and that it needs to be one year on one year off.
So, last year they were at your house, so they should be at their mums, imho.Forever I will sail towards the horizon with you0 -
post deletedMFW 2011 challenge - Aim: Overpay £414.26 a month/£5,000 a year. Overpayment Total to date: £414.26:jMortgage start 28/9/07 £46,217.00 :TMortgage balance as of 25/05/11 £24,490.58 :T
Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months0 -
It could just be she's thinking your partner had them all Christmas Day last year so its her turn, regardless of where the normal day would be. I have to say if custody arrangement changed midyear and it meant my ex got the kids all Christmas Day twice in a row instead of taking turns I'd be narked0
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He may have to put this one down to experience but then go back to court setting out proper arrangements which include christmas etc.....that way, he will be more protected if she gets spiteful again.
With my ex and I - normally, he has her from Thursday night to monday morning every other weekend however, christmas is different - doesn't matter when it falls ie his weekend or mine, we alternate - one year he has her from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day morning, then the next year I have her from Xmas Eve to Boxing Day morning. It is my turn to have her for xmas day this year.0 -
post deletedMFW 2011 challenge - Aim: Overpay £414.26 a month/£5,000 a year. Overpayment Total to date: £414.26:jMortgage start 28/9/07 £46,217.00 :TMortgage balance as of 25/05/11 £24,490.58 :T
Interest saved as of 25/05/11: £2,849.84 Projected term reduction as of 25/05/11: 9 years 11 months0
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