Seperating over a dog ?

Bella79

Hello all,

Im posting this on here as i really need some other opnions on this situation. 2 years ago my dh brought a large breed dog it was a joint decision and i was onboard with it all, we already had a dd and although initially it was hard training the dog having a baby etc we now have a lovely family pet.

Fastforward to now my dd is now 3 dog is 2 and we have found a nice daily balance, i suffer with severe depression/anxiety infact there going to be testing me for bi-polar. i sometimes struggle to cope with simple actions like getting up,dressed cooking a meal it seems overwhelming on a bad day my dh works ft.

4 weeks ago dh decided he would like another dog of the same breed (large) although i was initially recluctant didnt think i would be able to cope daily etc i eventually agreeed cos i could see how much dh wanted this. But boy i was wrong im really struggling we have had the 2 dogs 4 weeks now and i just cant cope with them, ive got my daughter and tbh thats enough for me to cope with, i wouldnt /dont want to rehome the older dog but i have told me dh im sorry but i cannot cope with puppy aswell, breeder is very nice she would take the pup back and rehome with him being so young this shouldnt be a problem. But dh wont hear of it all he says is that i told him he could have one he loves dogs and thats that, he says if return him then he will walk and i know he means it, i feel so bad i know i said we could have one but i didnt think i wouldnt be able to cope, its got so bad i dont even like being at home on my own with them and i try to avoid coming home. He says if i say "its us or the pup" thats blackmail but if he says "get rid of the pup and im leaving" isnt that just as bad ?

I know compared to most ppl problems this seems silly buts its tearing us apart, and i just dont know what to do ?, we had the pup to classes etc and its not that the pup is naughty i jst cant cope with 2 dogs and a toddler .

Any advice would be greatly appriciated x


PS ............ forgot to say when we initially got the first dog i wanted to get rid of her as she was soo hard work but we didnt and we now have a lovely dog, but its taken 2 years !, i cant cope for another 2 yrs for this pup to mature

prettykitty

I'm sorry but his position is incredibly selfish and my sympathies are with you. You wanted to keep your DH happy but have realised it is too much - nothing wrong with that, it happens. Your mental and physical health should be his primary concern.

skylight

Get rid of the puppy and your OH. Neither appear to be of any use to you.


(And this is based on the post only)

whiteguineapig

i agree with skylight

Jennifer_Jane

I'm sorry, I agree with Skylight, too. Puppy has to go certainly. Your health will affect the whole family including your daughter and her own well-being. A friend of mine really really wanted a puppy and it's been a nightmare (including going with her to return the dog, and then she went back on the Monday to get it back, but that's another story). The puppy has been very, very difficult for her to cope with, even though it's a gorgeous, lively little thing.

Yes, hubby is also blackmailing you.

Nevertheless, I wish you the best of luck with this. But hubby is trying to control you with this. Stand up for your and your daughter's well-being.

Good luck!

Bella79

thankyou all for your replys, im so cut up over this i love my dh and i do not want to seperate but i can not cope, ppl would laugh at us if they asked "why did u 2 split ? and i say because of the dogs !

I know i was wrong for letting him get the pup in the frist place, i should have known with how i was the first time around, am i being as bad as him though by saying its me or the dog ?

Liquorice_Twirls

"Why did u split?" because your other half does not consider your feelings or needs, including making major decisions without discussing it with you.

Bella79

He did discuss getting the pup with me, and he did say he wouldnt get it if i didnt agree, but i knew how much he wanted it so i gave in and let him have it. he does walk them and clean after them, but i still cant cope i feel im being silly for letting the dogs bring me to this, but i really do not want the pup, bless him i dont think its fair keeping him, im sure he will pick up on how im feeling towards him. I suppose its my own fault for saying yes to my dh. he says i know how much he loves the dogs and how heartbreaking it would be for him to get rid of the pup and he doesnt want to be with someone who would do that to him ?

Raggs_2

Whilst I agree with the posters above. Does your OH walk the dogs in the mornings and evenings? How often do you need to take them out during the day? Another possible solution could be to hire a dog walker during the day.

Also, are you sure (since you have mentioned it), your conditions aren't affecting your perceptions? It doesn't sound like it, but you need to take it as a possibility.

Bella79

dh walks the dogs so i dont have to walk them in the day, jst let them out onto back garden, There also crate trained so dh says if there getting on my nerves to put them in there crates, but they cant spend there lifes in there i think thats just as bad, the older one isnt a problem she follows me round house lays with me etc, its jst the pup being a normal pup i can t cope with, even worse when ive got my daughter and the 2 dogs i sit and cry, i dont think my condition is helping the situation, but im already taking teatment for that.

Mojisola

Bella79 wrote: »

He says if i say "its us or the pup" thats blackmail but if he says "get rid of the pup and im leaving" isnt that just as bad?

Ask him if he honestly wants the dog more than his wife and children. If the answer is yes, then let him go. He won't be worth fighting for.