Seperating over a dog ?

BubblyMumbles

kegg wrote: »

op states
4 weeks ago dh decided he would like another dog of the same breed (large) although i was initially recluctant didnt think i would be able to cope daily etc i eventually agreeed cos i could see how much dh wanted this.

which sound more like he badgered her into it rather than a joint wish for another dog.

Or it could sound like the OP just said yes without thinking through the consequences of her choice.

nat21luv

I used to suffer from depression and I think its starting to creep back as my weight increases. The best thing I ever did was go for a walk. I strapped my baby in the pushchair and put my dog on the lead and went out. It was like the wind just cleared my mind of all these dark, depressing thoughts and lifted me and my mood. Bet your baby could do with the fresh air too? They say that exercise and a bit of fresh air does wonders for the mind...its true! So get your coat, put baba in the pram and get the dogs on a lead, your going for a walk!!

And yes, I will be taking my own advice and going for a walk on the beach tomorrow with my baby and pooch!

kegg_2

BubblyMumbles wrote: »

Or it could sound like the OP just said yes without thinking through the consequences of her choice.

Even if she did agree without thinking it though it was clearly a mistake in getting the dog. When you make a mistake then you should recitfy it as soon as possible which in this case will be returning the dog to the dealer. The dealer is happy to take it back so it is not like she is going to tie him to a lap post and do a runner.
The only problem is the husband who it seems would rather have a dog than his wife and child.

if i was the op then i would be telling him that if he thought so little of me then to take his dogs and go as there is no way on earth i would be blackmailed into keeping an animal i didn;t want.

RacyRed

kegg wrote: »

op states
4 weeks ago dh decided he would like another dog of the same breed (large) although i was initially recluctant didnt think i would be able to cope daily etc i eventually agreeed cos i could see how much dh wanted this.

which sound more like he badgered her into it rather than a joint wish for another dog.

Don't think badgering came into it kegg, see HERE

kegg_2

RacyRed wrote: »

Don't think badgering came into it kegg, see HERE

so clearly she has made a mistake and cant cope/doesn't want to cope with 2 large dogs. But it doesn't change the fact that her oh is putting a dog before her and his marriage.

BubblyMumbles

kegg wrote: »

Even if she did agree without thinking it though it was clearly a mistake in getting the dog. When you make a mistake then you should recitfy it as soon as possible which in this case will be returning the dog to the dealer. The dealer is happy to take it back so it is not like she is going to tie him to a lap post and do a runner.
The only problem is the husband who it seems would rather have a dog than his wife and child.

if i was the op then i would be telling him that if he thought so little of me then to take his dogs and go as there is no way on earth i would be blackmailed into keeping an animal i didn;t want.

Blackmailed? The OP AGREED to this a matter of weeks ago!

It REALLY annoys me the way people take on animals, dogs in particular, without thinking it through and then just pap them off when it doesn't work.

"Getting married, having a baby, moving, job transfers, etc. are NOT REASONS for abandoning your pet, they are EXCUSES. Pets are a LIFETIME commitment the same as children are a LIFETIME commitment. We don't get rid ofchildren for these kinds of excuses, we adjust our lives. Our pets deserve the same level of devotion."

kegg_2

She agreed and now find she cant cope. She made a mistake which is something humans do from time to time.
He is now saying that if she wont keep the dog he is leaving. This is blackmail.

She was stupid to even consider getting another dog but she did and now has to deal with things as they are. She cant cope with the dog and the dealer is happy to take it back. She is not going to dump it or have it put down. She is being responsible and giving it back to the dealer who will be able to rehome it with someone who wants it and can look after it.

Any

kegg wrote: »

She agreed and now find she cant cope. She made a mistake which is something humans do from time to time.
He is now saying that if she wont keep the dog he is leaving. This is blackmail.

She was stupid to even consider getting another dog but she did and now has to deal with things as they are. She cant cope with the dog and the dealer is happy to take it back. She is not going to dump it or have it put down. She is being responsible and giving it back to the dealer who will be able to rehome it with someone who wants it and can look after it.

I agree with you to a point, but I seriously doubt the reasoning behind what she says about her husband and his ultimatum..

She didn't want the first dog either, the toddler is 3 yr old not a baby and she doesn't even have to do anything for the dog.

I get the feeling that he is trying to get her to overcome this feeling of "can't do itness" this time round too and this is his way.

I am sure if she actually really can't cope with it he won't give her up for the dog. However I don't think he believes her she can't cope just yet especially given the history.

Katinkka

Can't the dogs go in the garden during the day? Bit of shelter and let the husband clear up the s*** when he gets home? I'm not a dog person, I have 7 cats and 3 children. One of which is disabled. Even cats are hard work sometimes, running about and weeing in the hallway. I have depression too but I just get on with it. THey provide so much pleasure.

I guess I can't understand what the problem is with the dogs that they are so much work?

juliethemuse

Katinkka wrote: »

Can't the dogs go in the garden during the day? Bit of shelter and let the husband clear up the s*** when he gets home? I'm not a dog person, I have 7 cats and 3 children. One of which is disabled. Even cats are hard work sometimes, running about and weeing in the hallway. I have depression too but I just get on with it. THey provide so much pleasure.

I guess I can't understand what the problem is with the dogs that they are so much work?

couldnt agree more, as long as they have shelter they will be fine outside, and let him clean the garden up,

my 4 cats are hard work too, but i wouldnt give them up for the world, one has taken to weeing in the bath , saves the carpet i suppose,