Seperating over a dog ?

zaksmum

You are trying to consider the pup as well as everytthing else - it'd be easy to just dump the poor thing in his crate all day but that's not fair on him as you say.

I think your fella is being incredibly selfish and if he cares so little for you there's no real relationship anyway.

Could there be a hidden agenda though? A family member was bewildered when her husband started to pick petty fights and threaten to walk out over the smallest thing. Turned out that he was seriously involved with another woman behind her back and his intention was to make his wife kick him out (so he would seem to be the injured party!) and move in with the other woman saying he'd only met her after his wife chucked him out. It came to a head when she got up early the morning of his birthday to decorate the house with balloons, banners etc., and he sneered at her that she hadn't made enough effort...!

Apparently it's a common tactic.

Easy for me to say, I know, but I'd let him walk. You deserve far more consideration than he seems able to give.

Bonny1

Get rid of the Pup, and if your husband walks, then he never 'really' wanted to be with you .. this guy is a real piece of work.. STOP defending him... it's embarrassing.

i kinda agree with Zaksmum, something is NOT ringing true with this guys.. 'threats', over a dog..

globetraveller

oh my god. Do you really think he is serious? If you do, then its very sad and you can't carry on in a marriage like that.
If you split- it won't really be about the dogs.

However, having gone through a severe illness myself, somewhere along the line, my OH changed. He wouldn't do the same chores about the house, he didn't have the same interests. He swears now that he became depressed. He had kept strong for ages and then eventually couldn't anymore. Do you think he may be stressed? Has his behaviour changed or has he always behaved in the same manner as he is now?

Mojisola

Bonny1 wrote: »

Get rid of the Pup

Be proactive. You've got a breeder who is willing to take the puppy back so contact her tomorrow and arrange it asap.

You are worried about everyone, including the puppy, and your OH doesn't seem to care about any of you.

Bella79

Thankyou all so much for the replys, I know theres no one else involved he just loves animals so much and beleives dogs are for life and thats that. Everytime i try to sort the situation out hes says its me that i cant cope wtih anything becuse of my condition and that he gave me the chance not to have the pup and now he has him he cant give him up because its wrong. he says you wouldnt jst give your daughter up !, i said thats diff but in his eyes the commitment is the same.

I dont know what to do, im sat here now and i could cry, its all so silly, i should be able to cope i know i should, and to top it all off ive got friends coming to stay over the xmas period there comeing from a long way away so i want all this sorted out one way or another.

He has always been like this over the dogs, his attitiude has never changed i always knew it would cause major trouble if i brought up getting rid of the pup, he says if he walks its becuse he doesnt want to be with someone who would hurt him so much by taking the dog away when i know how much he loves them, he says he doesnt ask for much (doesnt drink,go to pub or anyhting) but he loves having his dogs. i feel so bad

grey_lady

Is it possible that he's a bit fed up with you being poorly, that in a way he wants you to get better but by getting rid of the puppy then that proves your not getting better e.g. "you can't cope with anything"

How long have you been on medication/counselling for the depression & anxiety? if its been a while then maybe he's hoping he can nudge you on a little bit.

Is he otherwise loving and supportive? sounds like he is.

foxy-roxy

I really feel for you OP and your Husband is being so insensitive.

I have 2 dogs, ages 3 and 18months and they are VERY hard work, they are staffies and need a lot of excercise and looking after.
They take up most of my time before and after work, I do love them to bits but I probably will never have 2 dogs at the same time again.

I am in a relationship with no children and do not have an illness and I struggle, I can't imagine how hard it must be for you with a child, 2 dogs ( a pup at that), illness and a selfish Husband.

For the sake of your daughter and your sanity put yourself first and return the dog to the breeder to be re-homed.

zaksmum

Bella79 wrote: »

Thankyou all so much for the replys, I know theres no one else involved he just loves animals so much and beleives dogs are for life and thats that. Everytime i try to sort the situation out hes says its me that i cant cope wtih anything becuse of my condition and that he gave me the chance not to have the pup and now he has him he cant give him up because its wrong. he says you wouldnt jst give your daughter up !, i said thats diff but in his eyes the commitment is the same.

I dont know what to do, im sat here now and i could cry, its all so silly, i should be able to cope i know i should, and to top it all off ive got friends coming to stay over the xmas period there comeing from a long way away so i want all this sorted out one way or another.

He has always been like this over the dogs, his attitiude has never changed i always knew it would cause major trouble if i brought up getting rid of the pup, he says if he walks its becuse he doesnt want to be with someone who would hurt him so much by taking the dog away when i know how much he loves them, he says he doesnt ask for much (doesnt drink,go to pub or anyhting) but he loves having his dogs. i feel so bad

He's saying "You wouldn't just give your daughter up" but he's perfectly willing to give YOU up?!!?!

You certainly shouldn't feel bad - he should. He knows you're not well and he's heaping troubles and worry upon you.

What a charmer.

busiscoming2

Have to agree, get rid of the puppy and if your oh walks then he didnt care enough for you and your dd.

RealButter

If your DH wanted to be with you he would be, regardless of whether you still have the puppy or not....

You have to put yourself and your DD first

Hope everything works out for you x