Do you think this is vindictive or am I oversensitive?

thorsoak

The birthday present idea has come from an 80 year old's daughter and son ...they have known their mother for longer than you. It's their idea - from a loving son and daughter.

!!!!!y daughter in law can do her own thing! When my mum was in hospital, we all sent her flowers. My OH - who had a love/hate relationship with her - sent her an orchid with the message "dear Ma-outlaw - they say send it with flowers ...I tried to get a triffid but this was the nearest I could get"! That present gave her a real boost - she told everyone who came about it!

Savvy_Sue

thorsoak wrote: »

When my mum was in hospital, we all sent her flowers. My OH - who had a love/hate relationship with her - sent her an orchid with the message "dear Ma-outlaw - they say send it with flowers ...I tried to get a triffid but this was the nearest I could get"! That present gave her a real boost - she told everyone who came about it!

:rotfl: a MIL with a sense of humour! Love it.

I'd suggest that to my OH should my mother ever be ill, but I doubt if she'd see the joke ...

It is very true about survival rates at 80+. We spent several months planning a family photo for my parents Golden Wedding Anniversary, including weeks wondering if we'd have to get the photographer into the hospital where Dad was lying, and how many nurses we'd have to bribe to allow all of us (20) in at the same time rather than the usual 2 per bed. In the end, Dad died a few weeks beforehand, but we have a glorious Matriarch surrounded by her tribe instead!

juicygirl

I'd never call my MIL an old hag.................she isn't that old yet ;-)

mrcow

Pollycat wrote: »

I'd never call my MIL an old hag, even as a random figure of speech.

Me neither.

I can find much more creative terms than that. Frizzled-skinned two-faced scheming old honk is a good one.

cattkitt

Two faced! That's the one!
Does anyone else have one of these MILs?
I don't get it. If you don't like me, you don't like me. We can agree to sit apart at family gatherings.
What I don't understand is why the kissy-kissy act and then the backstabbing? At least have the cajones to just say "I don't like you". Doh. And don't waste time on the smiling. I mean, if I don't like someone, I find it creepy to be hugging them and stuff. Surely only ladies of the night do that, and they do it because they're paid to do so?

cattkitt

I beg your pardon. Some politicians do it too. But again, they do expect to be paid a lot eventually as a result.

gratefulforhelp_2

Sorry OP but I'm finding this thread very funny. I do have some sympathies with both points of view, but I think you've split the thread into mothers in law and those who suffer from nasty ones.

I'm in the suffer from nasty ones camp!

RadoJo

Presumably the photo is meant to be a record of MIL's family on her 80th birthday, in which case I can see the point in having it done before the baby's born. As others have mentioned, it could be another 6 weeks before the baby arrives, plus a couple of weeks grace getting into a routine etc before you'd be keen to take the baby off to a photoshoot, so it could be a couple of months before the photo would actually be done, which does kind of defeat the object a little.

It does sound as though you may be overthinking it - for every reason you can see to wait there are an equal number of reasons for doing it now, so it's just a case of perspective. You are bound to be more invested in welcoming the baby to the family, whereas from your SIL's point of view you are asking for her present to her Mum to be delayed for what could be months to accommodate your wishes. I wouldn't say either of you is 'right' or 'wrong', so it's probably not worth getting too annoyed over.

dizzybuff

Maybe , Im very lucky having a MIL who I adore , but even if I didnt like her I wouldnt air it on an openly Public forums.

All in all I hope the day went well , my hormones are racing as im pregnant to so I can see your point of view , but at the end of the day it its not your mum . Go along smile be pleasent , but dont spoil HER day . It will make her becoem that "old hag" you speak of even more.

aliasojo

dizzybuff wrote: »

Maybe , Im very lucky having a MIL who I adore , but even if I didnt like her I wouldnt air it on an openly Public forums.

To be fair, it's an anonymous vent though, isn't it? And we're all different.