Do you think this is vindictive or am I oversensitive?

aliasojo

I think you're looking at this from an emotional angle and that's understandable given you're about to give birth in a few weeks.

However from a practical angle, it's your MIL's birthday well before the baby is due. (Technically you could even end up 2 weeks overdue so no guarantee the present will *only* be 5 weeks late.) I think you're being a tad self centered in wanting this to be delayed. Sorry, really dont want to hurt your feelings but this isn't about you or your baby who isn't even here yet, bless it.

Take a nice big pic of Mum, Dad and baby when it arrives and give to MIL, and go along with the family present in the meantime.

pinkpig08

If I thought my MIL to be an old hag, I wouldn't really care what present she got. If I wanted a photo with all my children in I'd get one done for myself.

jamespir

could it be that she hasnt thought about the baby as she in a rush to get photo done for the brithday and perhaps if you were to chat to her she may change her mind

Sambucus_Nigra

Have you actually picked up the phone and suggested waiting for the new baby to her? You know - communicate?

cheepskate_2

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

Its worth noting at this point that OH is an easy going type of person, sees the wrong in no-one and goes alone with anything for an easy life. So he agreed. It gets him off the hook of organising anything and thats the sort of guy he is. :rotfl:

Terrible way to talk about your MIL .

Aside from that , do you think that he doesnt tell you what your being like, for exactly the same reason, see above..

It is HIS mother, the person who gave birth to him, stop being so rude. Just because you become a wife doesnt say it gives you the right to be nasty about your

husbands mother.

(Quote) I'm not taking the bait and the photo will be taken today despite my grievances.

So, why are you on here moaning then, is it just so people reading this one sided argument tell you , you are right.???? or so you can add it to the endless list you no doubt have of sil's faults.???

Mojisola

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

I did say this to OH but he was of the opinion that she had to have the portrait on her birthday, not a few weeks later.

I would agree with your OH. This is about MiL's birthday, not the bad feeling between you and his sister.

On the other hand, there's no way I would be spending that much on a photo!

Pollycat

jamespir wrote: »

could it be that she hasnt thought about the baby as she in a rush to get photo done for the brithday and perhaps if you were to chat to her she may change her mind

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Have you actually picked up the phone and suggested waiting for the new baby to her? You know - communicate?

I think these 2 posts are pretty sensible.

It sounds like you're attributing what's happening as vindictive on your SIL's part, but have you actually thought about giving her the benefit of the doubt on this?

Maybe the fairly imminent arrival of your baby is not the number 1 priority on her mind at the moment.
She might just surprise you by saying 'Oh, yes, that's a much better suggestion. Let's get Mum a nice bouqut of flowers for her actual birthday and tell her what we've got planned when she has a new grandchild'.

Or she might not.

As you say the photo is arranged for today, it's probably too late as the photographer has already been booked.

dizzybuff

Im sorry I would never refer to my MIL as an "old hag" She is someone who gave birth to my wonderful husband and I respect and love her for being such a wonderful woman.

For that reason Im out ( sorry always wanted to say that)

aliasojo

dizzybuff wrote: »

Im sorry I would never refer to my MIL as an "old hag" She is someone who gave birth to my wonderful husband and I respect and love her for being such a wonderful woman.

That's nice but some MIL's are complete nightmares you know. (Not saying the OP's is btw, just pointing out that there's not a lot of mileage in quoting our own experiences simply because they wont necessarily be other people's).

Stressed_mum_2

I can totally see why you feel overly-sensitive about this, but at the end of the day it is your SIL's mum so I can also see why she doesn't want to wait (what could end up being) another 2 months before giving her mother her 80th birthday present. I would go along with the portrait today and then get a really lovely picture of you, your husband and all your children together, buy a nice (big!) frame, and give it to her for Christmas.

In-laws can be very difficult. I had many problems with my (now ex) MIL and SIL, but at the end of the day my MIL was my children's grandmother and for that reason alone I bit (and keep biting) my tongue.