ex wants he kids for xmas eve/day, feeling depressed at the thought!!!

busiscoming2

OP, I too have been in that situation. I can still remember the feelings of the first christmas, and although he had split up the family, he had the children the first xmas we were apart. My mum and dad took me to the pub for lunch and it realy wasnt that bad, just different. Ex bought the kids back on christmas day eve and we had our christmas day on boxing day instead!

It will be hard, but at least you can look forward to having your children next year.

nickyhutch

74jax wrote: »

1000000000000% know what you're saying there! Although about my exH - not yours:rotfl:. I can't fault him as a dad, the relationship our DD and him have is wonderful to see, doesn't make me like him though.

Exactly. I can't stand him (mine, not yours!) but DS and he have a great relationship which has been helped, I think, by us not fighting over DS as if he belongs to one of us but not the other.

nickyhutch

fernliebee wrote: »

I'm sorry I don't agree with this. It is more than fair that he gets to see them on christmas day but in the afternoon. Yes the kids should see their dad but what kid is gonna care wether it is the morning or the afternoon, as long as they get to see both parents and the presents keep rolling the sort of kid who's been brought up to think that it's all about presents and not people? Not my kid, for sure.

On the other hand OP will be devestated to miss the special day so will Dad, so might the kids be devastated not to see Dad that only comes once a year. Dad left for another woman who won't welcome OP into their home, so he can suck it up!! IMO the special days like xmas and birthdays are payment for all the hard work done throughout the rest of the year so parent who has them the most should get first choice over morning or afternoon. Special days are just that - time to spend with loved ones, not a reward for hard work. Just my opinion but there we go.

Just my opinion, but there we go.

nickyhutch

kazmc wrote: »

Err yes it does when the father chooses to walk away for another woman. How often do you hear of women leaving their children for another man?? Very very rarely and that's the difference

But how often do you hear of women kicking men out and keeping the kids? All the time. Does that Mum then have to give the kids over to Dad every Christmas? SHe walked out on the relationship (boo! bad lady!) AND kept the kids.

kindofagilr

Becles wrote: »

I think it's nice that the Dad wants to have them on Christmas morning and still takes an active interest in the children. He deserves to share the special moments with them.

Too many fathers walk out and see the children rarely or never, and don't take any interest in providing a nice Christmas for them.

My ex only sees the children a few times a year (his choice) and refuses to have them on Christmas Day or at New Year as they get in the way of his binge drinking plans.

Totally agree, my dad left when i was 1 and he never bothered after I was 5, i remember him being there when i was 5 one Christmas, then he moved to the other end of the country, and apart from me getting in touch with him when i was 13 I've not seen him since

So it's very nice any father who is no longer with the mother at wants to see their kids at Christmas

nickyhutch

arran_m wrote: »

i think that it would cause no harm to alternate the christmasses, ie since the mother had them last year the father should have them this year, as o cant think of anything worse then having to move the kids from one parent to another on christmas day

Yes, that's a pain, and an upheaval for the kids who've just settled down with their new toys. We used to do the swapover on Boxing Day, but found even this to be a bit diruptive. As I said before, we now have the kids Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day and take them home on the 27th, or pick them up on the 27th and take them home for New Year.

FatVonD

I’m fortunate that Christmas isn’t celebrated in my son’s father’s culture so he’s always been happy for me to have him, he then goes there to celebrate New Year which is important to his dad.

My step children spend alternate years with us and with their mum. This year we have them Christmas Eve, Christmas morning and for lunch/afternoon and they will go to their maternal grandparents who have a party in the evening (they are all older than your children though, I don’t think asking for toddlers to be back right after lunch is unreasonable given a much earlier bedtime.) Alternate years we do the same in reverse.

Could you spend your morning making the house magical for their return? An inflatable snowman in the garden you’ve not had up until then, Santa footprints in ‘snow’ on the floor, half-chewed carrots left by the ‘reindeer’, put up extra tinsel/snow over the tree, play Christmas music, cover their eyes as they walk in, that way you still get to see the look on their faces when they see it all?

PS Balloons all over the floor, more balloons than they've ever seen in their life before, that'll do it!

jamespir

you need help love and im not sure this is the best place to offer it have you tried talking to somone or inviting a frind over on christmas whe you feel lonely

margaretclare

FatVonD wrote: »

Could you spend your morning making the house magical for their return? An inflatable snowman in the garden you’ve not had up until then, Santa footprints in ‘snow’ on the floor, half-chewed carrots left by the ‘reindeer’, put up extra tinsel/snow over the tree, play Christmas music, cover their eyes as they walk in, that way you still get to see the look on their faces when they see it all?

None of this has anything whatever to do with Christmas, if by Christmas you understand it as a Christian festival celebrating the birth of Jesus.

When did Jesus arrive by reindeer?

jamespir

margaretclare wrote: »

None of this has anything whatever to do with Christmas, if by Christmas you understand it as a Christian festival celebrating the birth of Jesus.

When did Jesus arrive by reindeer?

there kids so they possibly not gonna understand just yet