ex wants he kids for xmas eve/day, feeling depressed at the thought!!!

zoesmummy_2006

I dont think he'll compromise, and theres no way my family would have him come to theirs as they cant stand him for the way he's behaved towards me and the kids. I guess i'll just have to enjoy the lie in as best i can and count the hours xmas morning til 1pm!!
I havent asked the kids, as they're only 4 and 2, i'd get no sense from my son lol!! though they're both very clingy to me recently, my daughter especially, so i guess i'll have to play it by ear and see how it goes and what they want coming up to xmas.

zoesmummy_2006

right im off to bed as i have tonsillitis and am shivering in my computer chair lol, thanks to everyone who replied, guess i just have to take it as it comes and who knows what the future holds for me..............
night night xxxx

Threebabes

OMG I would tell him to sling his hook. He has the nerve after waltzing away from his family to be with another woman and then wants the kids xmas day, if it was me it would be over my dead body. Dream on sunshine .....


xxx

FBaby

poor you, hope you feel better soon.

Been there done that and it's hell. My heart goes to you. Since my ex and I separated when kids were 18 months and 3 years old, we managed to get along well enough to spend Christmas at his parents who I remained in very good terms. The kids were delighted and we both enjoyed their presence. Then he met his girlfriend and all in a sudden, he decided that he wanted the kids for Christmas dinner. I said that his parents had invited me again and we could do as we always did, I was happy to make an effort to be pleasant with his girlfriend, but she wanted none of it. Fair enough, i could understand that, but she put massive pressure on him to insist that he had the kids for dinner, which really upset me. I first refused, said I would drop them off after dinner at his parents, but he started getting very threatening towards me and then started blackmailing the kids so they found themselves cut in the middle. In the end, I couldn't bear the kids being upset, so I agreed. It was my worse Christmas, 2 years ago. Last one, he asked to have them overnight Christmas eve, but I was with my mum and my partner of almost a year so it was easier to cope and we had a wonderful Christmas day all together, so I coped a lot better.

Surprise surprise, he has NEVER insisted on having them overnight on Daughter's birthday.... yep, it's New Years eve...

knithappens

my kids go to their dad boxing day and not before, I am sorry but Christmas is with me and together as a family, our family. I refuse to split Christmas's.

rickswords

I think your ex is being a complete !!!! - Lucky ur not with him anymore - Lay down the law now !!!!
Tel him every year he can come and see them on Xmas day and have them boxing day - Thats a fair deal.
Please please tell me tomorrow that is exactly what you have done, this whole issue annoys me.
Grumble Grumble.

74jax

nickyhutch wrote: »

He might surprise you and be a brilliant Dad, despite not being around. My ex is a t0sser, but a fantastic Dad.

1000000000000% know what you're saying there! Although about my exH - not yours:rotfl:. I can't fault him as a dad, the relationship our DD and him have is wonderful to see, doesn't make me like him though.

choccymoose

omg these are children not possessions! :eek:

With my step children we have always split it, admittedly arranged by a judge straight away but has been stuck to, one year we have from the start of the hols to boxing day lunch, then the following year we have from Boxing day lunch to new years day night. She had the affair she left with the children so with what some of you are saying she should not see the kids at Christmas!!!

Its the kids that should be put first here, not your feelings or his, he will be feeling the same emotions as you with regards to the children. My step kids are now 21 and 16 (they were 2 and 5 when she had the affair) and this is still what happens but through there own choice, they drive themselves here and also 300 miles the first weekend of December to spend a long weekend with my extended family!

They are both your children not just one parents, and please don't say he gave up the right to see his kids when he went off with another woman, because woman have affairs too!!

It will be hard but your kids will in the long run thank you for it.:)

fernliebee

nickyhutch wrote: »

Regardless of who left whom, the kids have a right to see their Dad, and he has a right to see them. The kids shouldn't lose out because you can't see eye to eye. OP, you'll have to suck it up, I'm afraid, and next year, they'll be all yours.

DS is 16 now so decides where and when he wants to go. DH's kids from a previous marriage come to us on alternate years. This year they're with their Mum and we pick them up on the 27th, next year we'll have them Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day.

I'm sorry I don't agree with this. It is more than fair that he gets to see them on christmas day but in the afternoon. Yes the kids should see their dad but what kid is gonna care wether it is the morning or the afternoon, as long as they get to see both parents and the presents keep rolling On the other hand OP will be devestated to miss the special day that only comes once a year. Dad left for another woman who won't welcome OP into their home, so he can suck it up!! IMO the special days like xmas and birthdays are payment for all the hard work done throughout the rest of the year so parent who has them the most should get first choice over morning or afternoon. Just my opinion but there we go.

Though I don't have this issue with my kids, my parents and grandparents were all divorced so christmas could have been tricky, but we always stayed with our mum, and dad came over for most of the day. Worked best for all. Until we were about 6 my dad would sleep on the sofa on christmas eve so he could see us open our presents. Mum, dad, step dad and dads GF were all fine with this though, so not suggesting in any way this would work for most people.

kindofagilr

God this is a hard one, as a mam I couldn't bare the thought of not seeing my Childs face on Christmas morning, but if I can't imagine not letting OH see them either (hypothetically of course), regardless of what he did, I still think he has the same rights as you with regards to Christmas morning