ex wants he kids for xmas eve/day, feeling depressed at the thought!!!

heretolearn_2

We used to alternate years to have Christmas eve/christmas morning or christmas day (including christmas dinner/boxing day) Seems fair to me. Dads want to see kids faces Christmas morning too.

I must admit I felt a bit weird about it first time round when it wasn't my turn for Christmas morning, but then to be honest (and maybe I'm a horrible parent! lol) it was actually rather nice not to be woken up at 3am, and have a nice leisurely christmas breakfast in bed in peace and quiet instead!

zoesmummy_2006

sorry, the boxing day/inlaws thing was last year! dint make that very clear xx

Sambucus_Nigra

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

He doesnt see that he should be inconvienenced at all, when i mentioned that I plan on passing my driving test after the expense of xmas is out the way, he said good cos I can then drop the kids off to him/pick them up as it costs him a fortune coming to see/pick them up/drop them off!!!

Repeat after me 'Think again sunshine'.

You really need to beef it up a bit - you're a pushover!

picnic

ditto to every thing that has been put... your being very easy on him.. and that is good for the kids but kids are strong and would want you to be strong too. If he wants to see them open their gifts... make him come to your house. Alone.
she deffinitly doesnt have any rights to see your kids xmas!!!!!

zoesmummy_2006

oh believe me i wont be dropping them to him at all-i aint wasting my petrol chasing around after him!!! he left and if he wants to see his kids then he can collect/drop them off. I have been too soft since he left cos of the kids, i hate seeing them upset and do bend over backwards to make sure he sees them. But I wont be delivering them to him.

nickyhutch

Regardless of who left whom, the kids have a right to see their Dad, and he has a right to see them. The kids shouldn't lose out because you can't see eye to eye. OP, you'll have to suck it up, I'm afraid, and next year, they'll be all yours.

DS is 16 now so decides where and when he wants to go. DH's kids from a previous marriage come to us on alternate years. This year they're with their Mum and we pick them up on the 27th, next year we'll have them Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day.

74jax

I split with my exH when our daughter was around 1. Since then we have alternated Xmas day and New Year, so he might have her for xmas and I'll have her for New Year then the following year we swap.

Was very very very very hard for me. I didn't have my xmas until she was with me. My friends thought I was mad, even new partners. I refused to get up on 25th and open present and have an xmas dinner - it wasn't my xmas until my daughter was with me, I'd have just a baked potatoe or something. Friend would invite me to theirs, but if I went it would be like admitting it was xmas (may sound strange but to me it helped).

Then when she came back to me, we did all the night time things - food out for Santa (beacuase Santa understands not all parents live together) and we had our christmas day with christmas lunch etc when she was with me.

Now she's older (12) she prefer xmas day at her Dads as she has a brother and sister who are 3 and 4 and so she wants xmas with them. Although this year she has asked if she can have xmas and New Year at her dads as they are haiving a big new Year party ;-(

It is very hard deciding on what you do, but remember it will be like this for a long time to come. You will both have your child's interested at the forefront of your decisions, don't feel because he walked out he gave up his 'xmas morning right'. Harsh as it is, he walked out on you not the child (even though he did leave the house).

My ex and I are completely open around our daughter and have a fantastic relationship regarding her. Just me and him???? not one chance of a civil conversation there!:rotfl:

Amanda65

Feel really sorry for you and as you say your son is in nappies I assume the children are young? If this is the case then I agree that he gave up the right to wake up with his children the day he walked. Tell him he is very welcome to come round Christmas morning again but cannot actually have them until after lunch - non negotiable

hallowitch

Start as you mean to go on girl and tell him he cant have the kids Christmas day 2pm and its not up for negotiation

74jax

zoesmummy_2006 wrote: »

oh believe me i wont be dropping them to him at all-i aint wasting my petrol chasing around after him!!! he left and if he wants to see his kids then he can collect/drop them off. I have been too soft since he left cos of the kids, i hate seeing them upset and do bend over backwards to make sure he sees them. But I wont be delivering them to him.

What we do in this instance, is my exH collects DD and then I collect her from him. It's a 3 hour round trip for us and so for her to keep contact with her Dad is the best option we can come up with. i do have far better things to spend my money on that travelling to HIS place, but unfortunately it's the best way for her to keep contact........... oh for the age I can put her on the train.......