Nice new house, missus wants to live with parents, baby on way. Advice

Oldernotwiser

I tend to think, rather cynically, that most things come down to money. I feel it's quite possible that she wants to be kept by her parents (with any benefit money to spend on herself and the baby) rather than having to struggle a bit financially as a young family.

Is her father still around? Could you discuss the situation with him man to man and get him on your side?

charlea

stay put dont sell ( rent if you have to ) if she wants to move in with her parents let her do it ..... trust me she will be pulling her hair out after a few weeks of granny knows best .....

all i can say is that if you give in to her on this you will probably spend a long time regretting it and you will also probably give in to your girlfriend again and again and you will feel like you have two wives nagging you her and her mum

I Certainly wouldnt put her on the deeds to the house in fact i wouldnt put her on the deed of any house at the moment with her childish attitude

melancholly

my parents are great and supportive, but if i told them i was having a baby and wanted to move in with them so that they could go through it all again, rather than living with my OH, they'd have a few choice words!

all nuts!

Desperado99

I think that this is about your relationship rather than the house. She sounds as if she is not ready to live with you and is using the house as an excuse.

You have a house, you have no need to live with her parents.

I think that you need to have a long talk with her (not her mum or dad) and get to the bottom of this, now rather than later.

Good Luck

emerald21

tiamai_d wrote: »

She sounds like a spoilt so and so. And a thick one too.

Forcing you to sell a house at a loss (which it probably will be) knowing that if things do improve then there is no guarantee that you will be able to afford a house in a few years time, so she can stay at home with her mummy? I'd let her. She'll be changing her mind when her mum starts sticking her nose in once baby is here. Either that or if you do move in with them, you will be very much at the bottom of the line of parental figures in your babies life.

I really can not see things how she sees them. You have what sounds like a lovely home (I am very jealous) and she wants to stay with mummy and daddy?

I agree tho im not jealous lol

Becles

Is the cottage furnished yet?

Maybe you involve her in buying furniture and accessories for it. You know how useless blokes are at picking curtains and cushions and stuff like that, so you really do need her help

It may feel less like your house and more like her house if she's had some say in the finishing touches and dressed rooms.

poe.tuesday

I would also add that I think that she wants you to do all the compromising but is not willing to compromise herself - you are starting a family - there has to be give and take from both of you to make this work and you both need to meet in the middle and it seems to me that she wants it all her own way - whilst the idea of living with her family may sound like an ideal situation for her, what about you or do you have no say over your life and that of your child?

I think you need to sit down with her and be open and honest about what you want, how you feel and about your future together as a family and that despite your love for her parents, you don't want to live with them as you are an adult and should be doing this with her, in your home (be it the cottage you presently own or another place) with your child

ali-t

hmmm, sounds like she wants to have her cake, eat it and keep some icing for later!

I wouldn't sell the house, if you do decide to move in with her parents you could rent it out but please don't do anything rash.

spendingmad

This may not give you the answer you are looking for but I am sure figures could be tweaked!

Work out how much you could sell your house for.

From your profit take off selling fees/buying fees/stamp duty/removal fees etc.

Cheap £x,000 aside for redecoration of other property

Keep your current mortgage amount (as you do not want to up your mortgage with baby/childcare expenses etc)

Mortgage + Profit - amount too save from above = how much you can spend on a house.

Go through the motions with her viewing houses around the amount you have to spend (hopefull grotty ones which are nothing compared to yours) then show her what she could have - a beautiful refurbished home which just need her to pick some furniture for.

Even better - do the nursery, stage your house to look fab, cook meal in the slow cooker so ready for when you walk in from looking at all the 'other' houses. Tell her this one is on the market and the owner is happy for you both to test drive it! Leave her a bunch of her favourite flowers in living room/her fav perfume in bathroom/little baby outfit in babys room etc really special little things. Let her wander round and discover them herself then sit her down to a romantic meal and then have fantastic s*x in front of the fire.:D

If she still wants to live with mummy - dump her!

Oh - got all excited then

Money_maker

Good post, spendingmad.

OP, has your girlfriend always been like this or do you not really know each other very well having never lived together?

I would suggest she likes it or lumps it. Keep your cottage and spend a little time considering which other hoops she's going to want you to jump through for the rest of your life...