Nice new house, missus wants to live with parents, baby on way. Advice

Primrose

pipsta - this sounds like a bit of gentle manipulation to me and some puppet string-pulling. Stand firm. Thank her politely but tell her you have no intention of moving out of a perfectly good home at the moment, especially when the economy is looking so volatile and that you perfectly able to take control of your own affairs and finances. The nearer it comes to your baby being born, hopefully some sanity will start to prevail on your girlfriend's part

LisaPapakis

Why? What have they got against the cottage?!

sashadesade

Hm, pity MIL can't keep her nose out! Make sure you aren't railroaded in to anything you aren't happy with pipsta.

larmy16

Don't they say that if you want to see what your partner will turn out like you only have to look at her mother?

Seriously though Pipsta, good luck, for what it is worth I don't think you should do anything at the moment. Wait for this child to be born and then see where the land lies.

Looking back, I was very immature at 22 so perhaps this young lady needs a little time to grow into practical and common sense. Keep the MIL at arms length though!

affordmylife

it is not about the house or the baby. it is about her mother being left alone.

you have said yourself she is fragile. she would not only lose her daughter but her grandchild as well.

the mother is the problem.

good luck x

Steel_2

pipsta wrote: »

Just popped back in here to see extra posts. Thank you guys for your extra comments. I hope it all works out believe me.
Next bit of news, her mum (estate agent), wants us to go and look at a couple of properties she has on her books.. hmmm

Hmmmmm indeed! I hate to say I told you so but...if you're not very careful you're going to be railroaded into something and her mum is going to get two sets of fat fees. I think there's something unethical about all of this. There's no way she should be encouraging her daughter to move at this stage of her pregnancy or directing proceedings.

Just out of interest, how is the mother's business doing? Because two estate agents I know are hanging on by their fingertips and practically living hand to mouth at the moment.

A firm no is in order here otherwise her mother will be running your relationship and using you to keep her business afloat.

SexyBack

Sounds like a MIL trying to gain control when she thought she was losing her daughter to you now shes pregnant. Or she just wants to mollycoddle the baby and play mummy again. Believe me MIL's get creepy when babies are born rofl

Susan_Frost

I actually think it would do the daughter good to live away from mum. I know she has been to uni, but it is not the same.

If she could just make that break, and be allowed to run her own place and make her own decisions, with pipsta backing her, she may start to be able to stand up to her mum. She has been brought up to rely on mum (which is not her fault) but I just hope that OP keeps the cottage, she moves in, and she gradually sees how life without mum there 24/7 can be.

mountainofdebt

pipsta wrote: »

Next bit of news, her mum (estate agent), wants us to go and look at a couple of properties she has on her books.. hmmm

I ruddy well knew it.

mummy gets commission from selling your cottage, gets commission from you buying one of her houses and daughter gets to have a house near mummy.

Everyone's a winner ......except you pipsta

Primrose

pipsta - remember that old song "Puppet on a string"???
DON'T GO THERE! How you manage your relationships with these two women now will set the stage for the future and you can't afford to get it wrong. None of us who have offered our thoughts on here have any axes to grind with either you or your girlfriend. It's just that some of us are a bit older than you and have seen these kinds of scenario played out before in our own experiences. Save yourself some grief now. We may all learn by our mistakes but it's far better not to endure the experience of having to go through it in the first place.