Nice new house, missus wants to live with parents, baby on way. Advice

LilacPixie

The most sensible thing and the best thing for your baby is to keep mum happy. Unhappy mum = unhappy baby. Real world is happiness comes well above money.

burnoutbabe

pipsta wrote: »

I have a job :rotfl:

sorry, i meant House Hunt.

has she suggested starting house hunting? you;d have to start now to get anything before baby was born. does she really think you can get somewhere in 12 weeks, starting from right now? its just not practical.

So renting is the only option. Start looking this weekend, you need to know whether she actually wants to live with you/the baby or not. if she can't see that its impossible to buy somewhere new in the next 12 weeks, then she is just not in the real world

And your 2 attitudes to money/practicalities are very far apart doesn't bode well for the future. Any sensible MSE women would agree to move in, whilst not ideal, to sort things out with a view to moving once baby come and things are more settled).

Rikki

When the baby arrives and you both go all gooey things will look very different and hopefully fall into place to suit you both. Good Luck.

meritaten

Its really starting to annoy me how many posters are adamant that keeping mum happy is the priority here!!! Its as if Dad doesnt matter! Of course Dad matters! Dad being unhappy can sour the whole relationship!
Dad appears to have his feet on the ground about practical matters while Mum appears to live on Fantasy Island. she wants to move to a mythical land of 'Our Home Together'............but at the same time wants to be there for mummy! who apparently cannot be left on her own - so if you moved to 'Our Home Together' does Mummy come too?
oh and I am female btw, was six months pregnant when I got married and was grateful that OHs uncle gave us a home with him! not ideal, and I would have thought I was in Gods pocket if OH had a ready made home for me to move into!
but then, I was never a spoiled child and my family had to count every penny - so perhaps I CANNOT view OPs gf as anything but a spoiled princess who needs a reality check!
Sorry OP, I know I have been saying things you just dont want to hear! but I DO wish you well and hope your baby is happy whatever home he/she lives in!

Mojisola

I wouldn't sell the house because I seriously doubt this relationship is going to last. The last thing the OP needs is to find himself not part of the new family and without the house that he put so much effort into.

Wilma33

She doesn't want to live with you. If she did, she would be living with you now. All this stuff about not liking the cottage and her mum being lonely is just excuses. Look her in the eyes and ask her outright, "Do you want us to live together?".

If you start house hunting together then I suspect there will be something wrong with every house you view.

JaneRN

I haven't read all the replies so this may well have been mentioned before. My feeling is if your house was next door to her mums she would not have an issue at all. You say your house is 20 mins drive away and I would put money on if the two of you start your own house hunt your GF would dismiss any property that distance away.
I do think it is the distance from her mum that is the problem and not that she sees the house as yours.
I don't think you've been selfish, you bought a house at her suggestion, she was thrilled when you exchanged but now she is being unreasonable. I can fully appreciate the sweat, toil and tears you invest in a property and it is not unreasonable for you to want to enjoy the result of your labour.

tanith

I think Pipsta just wants to use all the good advice most people have given and get on with his life now... I hope you come back when all is resolved and let us know how things panned out... good luck..

Oldernotwiser

JaneRN wrote: »

I haven't read all the replies so this may well have been mentioned before. My feeling is if your house was next door to her mums she would not have an issue at all. You say your house is 20 mins drive away and I would put money on if the two of you start your own house hunt your GF would dismiss any property that distance away.
I do think it is the distance from her mum that is the problem and not that she sees the house as yours.
I don't think you've been selfish, you bought a house at her suggestion, she was thrilled when you exchanged but now she is being unreasonable. I can fully appreciate the sweat, toil and tears you invest in a property and it is not unreasonable for you to want to enjoy the result of your labour.

20 minutes away is just around the corner - you make it sound as if it was the other end of the country!

BigBlackcat

I've already said pretty much all I had to say earlier in the thread. But I will say that a relationship is not based on keeping just one person happy. It's all about compromise. OP's GF is being unrealistic and very immature in her expectations. If she had any sense she would move in to that cottage and prepare to start a new life with her new family.

Keep strong Pipsta, and good luck!