Nice new house, missus wants to live with parents, baby on way. Advice

thorsoak

What I am trying to say to you Pipsta - is that you should keep your house. I do not think that you will ever find the "right" house for you, your "missus" and baby.

Although she says that of course she will live with you once you find the "right" house ....how long will this take? Six months? A year?

Good luck to you in all your endeavours!

pipsta

thorsoak wrote: »

What I am trying to say to you Pipsta - is that you should keep your house. I do not think that you will ever find the "right" house for you, your "missus" and baby.

Although she says that of course she will live with you once you find the "right" house ....how long will this take? Six months? A year?

Good luck to you in all your endeavours!

We will find one, I have loved doing up this cottage so will enjoy next one just as much. Just a pitty this one will have to go so soon.

Thankyou for all your comments.

Janey3

Before it closes, just to say all the best to all of you for the future.

Janey

Errata

pipsta wrote: »

We will find one, I have loved doing up this cottage so will enjoy next one just as much. Just a pitty this one will have to go so soon.

Thankyou for all your comments.

If you want the thread locked, or deleted, you have to PM the Board Guide for this board and ask them.

burnoutbabe

didn't this all get discussed when she announced she was pregnant?

surely there was some sort of keep/not keep discussion and what would happen when she had the baby?

I'd make it clear, your either now a family and live together (in your cottage or one you rent for 6 months before trying to sell your place) or you split up.

if she wanted to wait until you had the perfect place to live together, she should have been more careful and not got pregnant. as your having this baby, you both need to make compromises. Buying a new house right now seems a bit silly *you could buy one before xmas* but it really doesn;t look like she wants to commit to you.

So why not rent your place out (convert mortgage to a buy to let) and see if you can buy one together? test the waters, is it even affordable to get one now? but SHE MUST move in with you now in the cottage whilst you HOUSE hunt as you are a couple and there is NO REASON AT ALL to not live together now.

pipsta

Ah i'll leave it open, you never know someone else my benefit from it.

Thank you all again guys and hope to see you in some other threads.

Remember never buy a house without your other half!!! you have been warned

Cheers

FatVonD

pipsta wrote: »

Might be time to close this thread now i think because there are alot of wild statements being thrown about which are not constuctive.

For which I think we can all read 'are not what I want to hear'.

I believe she's made it perfectly clear that she thinks she can (and possibly even wants to) bring the child up without you around as much as you'd like to be. This is very sad but is something you should have sorted out before you embarked on having a child together.

To be honest you seem to be very intractable to me, you are riding roughshod over what she wants already, maybe she feels that if you both own somewhere then your word won't be final in everything.

Many people have suggested renting out the cottage and renting somewhere else, your excuse for why this wouldn't work was that you'd be pouring money down the drain. As someone else pointed out this would be offset by the money you made on rent but you've never replied or seriously considered it as an option. How about telling her you'll rent it out for years, you can both save for a deposit on somewhere else, buy that and a few years down the line sell both and buy something fantastic?

I still don't think she'd go for it, as many have said there must be some underlying relationship issues and, if we knew her side of the story, I think they'd probably make sense.

pipsta

burnoutbabe wrote: »

didn't this all get discussed when she announced she was pregnant?

surely there was some sort of keep/not keep discussion and what would happen when she had the baby?

I'd make it clear, your either now a family and live together (in your cottage or one you rent for 6 months before trying to sell your place) or you split up.

if she wanted to wait until you had the perfect place to live together, she should have been more careful and not got pregnant. as your having this baby, you both need to make compromises. Buying a new house right now seems a bit silly *you could buy one before xmas* but it really doesn;t look like she wants to commit to you.

So why not rent your place out (convert mortgage to a buy to let) and see if you can buy one together? test the waters, is it even affordable to get one now? but SHE MUST move in with you now in the cottage whilst you job hunt as you are a couple and there is NO REASON AT ALL to not live together now.

I have a job :rotfl:

pipsta

FatVonD wrote: »

For which I think we can all read 'are not what I want to hear'.

I believe she's made it perfectly clear that she thinks she can (and possibly even wants to) bring the child up without you around as much as you'd like to be. This is very sad but is something you should have sorted out before you embarked on having a child together.

To be honest you seem to be very intractable to me, you are riding roughshod over what she wants already, maybe she feels that if you both own somewhere then your word won't be final in everything.

As this thread has gone on you are coming across more and more like the kind of person that would rather cut the baby in half to ensure you get your 'fair' share.

Many people have suggested renting out the cottage and renting somewhere else, your excuse for why this wouldn't work was that you'd be pouring money down the drain. As someone else pointed out this would be offset by the money you made on rent but you've never replied or seriously considered it as an option. How about telling her you'll rent it out for years, you can both save for a deposit on somewhere else, buy that and a few years down the line sell both and buy something fantastic?

I still don't think she'd go for it, as many have said there must be some underlying relationship issues and, if we knew her side of the story, I think they'd probably make sense.

These are the wild statements i am talking about. Believe me apart from this prediciment we are very very happy together and do not have any other "underlying" problems. I know its hard to judge from the outside but please, this is the case. I do not want to "cut the baby in half" I just want do the most sensible thing and make possible the best future for our new family. Selling up now i dont think is the best option. I know its harsh to ask her to do something she might not want to do 100% but in the "real world" money and other things must be taken into account. Hence why i came on the Money saving expert forium

FatVonD

pipsta wrote: »

These are the wild statements i am talking about. Believe me apart from this prediciment we are very very happy together and do not have any other "underlying" problems. I know its hard to judge from the outside but please, this is the case. I do not want to "cut the baby in half" I just want do the most sensible thing and make possible the best future for our new family. Selling up now i dont think is the best option. I know its harsh to ask her to do something she might not want to do 100% but in the "real world" money and other things must be taken into account. Hence why i came on the Money saving expert forium

Ah, you'd obviously quoted before my edit, I'll leave it to you if you leave that bit in or not.

I agree selling up is not an option but you've still not said whether you'd consider renting out your cottage and renting someplace else together, it seems you don't want to consider anything that doesn't back up your own idea of what is the right thing to do. Isn't that a viable option (particularly if you end up with two houses as a result of it, surely that appeases the practical side of you?