Nice new house, missus wants to live with parents, baby on way. Advice

Mojisola

But if you're renting your house out that will balance out.

I really think your GF has got to understand that being in a relationship is about compromise. She can't expect to have everything in her world just as she wants it. You have wants and needs, too, and she isn't being fair in wanting everything her way.

Errata

She doesn't want to live in your house
She doesn't want to rent somewhere else
Does she have any money to cover an alternative to these? Deposit to buy on a mortgage, cash for furniture etc.
Or does she have a socking large student debt?
If she can pay the piper then she can call the tune but not otherwise.

pipsta

Mojisola wrote: »

But if you're renting your house out that will balance out.

I really think your GF has got to understand that being in a relationship is about compromise. She can't expect to have everything in her world just as she wants it. You have wants and needs, too, and she isn't being fair in wanting everything her way.

Her compromise is now to move in with me alternate weeks before baby is born. Do you think I rush into selling a lovely house in order to fufill her desire to get a house together?

pipsta

Errata wrote: »

She doesn't want to live in your house
She doesn't want to rent somewhere else
Does she have any money to cover an alternative to these? Deposit to buy on a mortgage, cash for furniture etc.
Or does she have a socking large student debt?
If she can pay the piper then she can call the tune but not otherwise.

If i were to tell her its "my" money i would get "it doesnt matter where the money comes from we are together."

She does have some savings.

Mojisola

pipsta wrote: »

Her compromise is now to move in with me alternate weeks before baby is born. Do you think I rush into selling a lovely house in order to fufill her desire to get a house together?

This just isn't a compromise to my way of thinking. If she was committed to you as her life partner, this kind of thing wouldn't be suggested.

If you were saying that the house was going to stay as you have made it and that you would never consider selling it, then she would need to stand her ground but you are offering compromise after compromise and none of them are being accepted by her. It sounds as if it's going to be her way or nothing.

emsywoo123

pipsta wrote: »

Its means a hell of a lot to me!! Trouble is most of doing the house up was done before knowing baby was on way but got to the point that i couldnt turn back if you know what i mean. Originally the house being just for me, circumstances have now changed but still selling now doesnt seem to be the most practical thing to do with baby on way, falling house prices etc.

I dont want to rent as renting is putting money into somebody elses back pocket for the sake of it. Plus my GF wouldnt want to rent.

This is REALLY significant!! Unless I totally missed this earlier, I didn't know the house was originally just for you! Well of course she doesn't want to move there! I get it, she wants a home for the 3 of you, she probably feels unsteady, and feels, quite rightly IMHO, that it is more yours (singular) than yours (plural)

*Louise*

pipsta wrote: »

If i were to tell her its "my" money i would get "it doesnt matter where the money comes from we are together."

She does have some savings.

So she considers money to be 'joint assets' but can't consider the house the same?

pipsta

emsywoo123 wrote: »

This is REALLY significant!! Unless I totally missed this earlier, I didn't know the house was originally just for you! Well of course she doesn't want to move there! I get it, she wants a home for the 3 of you, she probably feels unsteady, and feels, quite rightly IMHO, that it is more yours (singular) than yours (plural)

Got it in one!

Still doesnt help the situation though, wanting to sell now i think is unfair considering the amount of work i put in plus not the most practical thing to do at mo

jackieglasgow

pipsta wrote: »

If i were to tell her its "my" money i would get "it doesnt matter where the money comes from we are together."

So surely by her own reckoning" it doesn't matter where the (money for) the house comes from we are together" It sounds to me like she's a bit spoiled and simply only wants the house she chooses. High maintainence lifestyle coming up.

jackieglasgow

I also think the amoutn of work you put in isn't *that* important in the grand scheme of things, and using that as part of your arguement with her won't wash. The simple fact is that if you sell now and lose money then that would be foolish. If the house will break even, or even make a small profit, just get rid, in the grander scheme of things, this house is not going to be you home for life, is it worth getting bogged down now. I would get it decorated, get it on the market, and tell her to move in and stop being so bloody childish. I know it is important for you as it symbolises your first foray into the market, but your child being raised in a secure environment is worth more than that, surely? I am beginning to think that you are as stubborn as she is You don't want to do what she wants, and she doesn't want to do what you want, so find a common goal, and work towards that.