Nice new house, missus wants to live with parents, baby on way. Advice

meritaten

She cant leave her mum alone in the evenings while mums bf is at work???? what complete rubbish! her mum is an adult isnt she? she works as an estate agent so she isnt reliant on help to feed, clothe or look after her. hun, this is a pathetic attempt at emotional blackmail to get her (or her mums) own way! Her mum should be ashamed of herself too!!!! a real mum would encourage her daughter to forge a new family with the father of her baby - not throw up all these obstacles to keep hold of her daughter! I assume as gf suggested you live with her and mum (and presumably mums bf) then mum doesnt have anything against you. I really think you should do your best to help your gf cut the apron strings - this much manipulation and control from her mum is unhealthy to say the least.
Quite frankly OP I feel that you either stand up for yourself and your baby now, or you can expect your life to be ruled by these two women to the extent that you cannot even choose your own car! before long they will be picking out your wardrobe, your job, your freinds etc.

eamon

Have to stick my oar in. Cut to the chase if you love this woman then propose to her! If her answer is no or with preconditions then you know exactly where you stand.

mini

I haven't read all rpelies but the following thought occured to me, could you rent out the cottage and use the rent money to pay for somewhere for you both together? That way you'd still have the cottage whilst seeing what your partner really wants. The cottage sounds lovely and I guess it depends on who would be renting it - I want it looked after & it isn't even mine!

BigBlackcat

Oh dear OP. There are 3 people in your relationship.

I can't believe your GF would choose to stay with her Mum and not you and her baby. Her NEW family.

Do you think her Mum is resorting to emotional blackmail to keep her there?

BallandChain

I wonder if the g/f is using her mother as an excuse as she really doesn't want to move in with the OP and feels it's easier to lay the blame on mum?

Broomstick

If you diid what gf originally suggested and sold up and bought a new house chosen together, would she still need to stay at her mum's every other week so that her mum wasn't on her own? The logic isn't making sense.

sashadesade

I'm going to agree with the majority and say I don't think you're being selfish. In fact the attitude of your girlfriend and her mother is quite baffling.
When I first moved in with my now-husband, I wasn't too sure about his house but since he already had it it made sense to at least try living there first. We've been living here for two and a half years now and it did take me a while to settle in, but I would hate to leave it now.
I really don't understand why your girlfriend won't give it a chance - it all sounds a bit strange to me. Surely she realises it would be crazy to try and sell the house right now? Perhaps since she's just come out of uni and hasn't had to live in the 'real world' so to speak she has unrealistic expectations.

thorsoak

How did G/f's mother get on "on her own" whilst G/f was away at Uni?

It's just an excuse - she is putting you off again. She doesn't want to be with you.

Mme.Hibou

Does your girlfriend have much contact with her dad?

Primrose

There are a lot of quite serious issues which have been raised here. I suspect that some of them may have gone to the heart of a can of worms that the poster may perhaps have been in denial about relating to his girlfriend's personality. Her pregnancy has flagged them up in rather vivid technicolour and I hope he will take on board the comments which have been made as he has some serious decisions to make that will influence the long term way his life evolves. I do seriously wonder whether his girlfriend is mature enough or even loves him enough to make a long term commitment. She is about to bring a new life into the world and despite the offer of a good home and a commited partner, she still wants to hedge her bets. This should be the time when she's moving on, moving in, and settling down in her new home, ready for the baby to arrive. There will be plenty of time further down the road to move house when the current distractions are behind them yet it's pretty clear she's not ready or willing to commit. Maybe the poster should just walk away for a while and see what happens.