Nice new house, missus wants to live with parents, baby on way. Advice

pinkshoes

pipsta wrote: »

Am I being selfish thinking we should be together in our own house now we are expecting a baby?

No, I think it's your GF and her mum being selfish.

It's like they deliberately want to break up a potentially happy family home.

I would suggest her mum and boyfriend move into your cottage, and you and your GF live in her mum's house. That way she can't use the excuse that it doesn't feel like her home!

ViolaLass

I would consider humouring her. The plan sounds like a complete faff, mostly for her, and after a few weeks of going back and forth she might decide it's not worth it. Just hope she chooses you at that point!

memelalou

No i don't think your being selfish. I do think your gf and her mother needs to realise she has a 'new' family now and needs to put her priorities in order.

I do think you need to tell your gf all this. I do understand her wanting her mother nearby for support while she is pregnant, but it is your baby together not hers and her mothers.
You really need to get to the bottom of why it is so important for her. Don't except stupid reasons. You have a perfectly good home and you have said you will move in the future so i really cannot see the problem unless she doubts the relationship.

emsywoo123

pipsta wrote: »

Am I being selfish thinking we should be together in our own house now we are expecting a baby?

OP I understand you coming on here to vent/get opinions or whatever, but as someone else said it matters very little what we say, as there is nothing we can do to change your situ

Additionally, it matters little whether you think you are being selfish, she, for whatever reason and the rights and wrongs of it, is not planning on moving into that house full time.

The question is more what are you going to do if she doesn't do what you want? You want her to do something she does not want to, she won't. Are you going to stress about it or support her and see how matters progress?

Primrose

You may, of course, find that once the baby is born the problem resolves itself. Babies require a huge amount of kit - cot, carry cot, nappies, prams, etc. etc. Have you and your girlfriend not yet realised that you will require a vehicle the size of a Pickford's removal van to cart everything necessary back and forth from one house to another? Or are you planning to duplicate all the equipment at both houses?

Desperado99

pipsta wrote: »

She wants to stay at home the alternate week because her mums boyfriend works lates alternate weeks and doesnt want to leave her mum at home on her own in the evening.

Am I being selfish if i think her mum should tell her its fine for her to be on her own? Trouble is her mum would not to do because she likes the company. I dont mind going round these weeks but I will be paying for a house thats only being lived in half the time.

Am I being selfish thinking we should be together in our own house now we are expecting a baby?

Her mum is old enough to be left home alone.

If she's at her mum's house after the baby is born, when do you get to get used to being a parent?

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Hm MPOV is that the one week here, one week there is silly. The child will be unsettled. Surely GF realises it cant be like this for long? i'd call her bluff and see what happens

lynzpower

mommyme wrote: »

Hm MPOV is that the one week here, one week there is silly. The child will be unsettled. Surely GF realises it cant be like this for long? i'd call her bluff and see what happens

I agree that is very poor for a childs development, they need routine and stability from day one.

harrys_nan

I really feel for you, I understand that you want to live with GF and baby to be a family and wish a lot more men was as caring as you come over.
One thing you must ask yourself is, IF you sell up and buy elsewhere together how sure are you that she will leave her mother? Sorry but some people never grow up enough to leave their parents home.

I wish you all the best and whatever happens be there for your child

Errata

She wants to stay at home the alternate week because her mums boyfriend works lates alternate weeks and doesnt want to leave her mum at home on her own in the evening.

Sorry mate, this is so outrageous it's beyond belief. You're going to reap what these two women sow, and it won't benefit you or your child one little bit.