Menopause Matters

Dawning

Morning everyone

Insignificant - yes that describes the feeling better!

I am pretty fed up, but since posting yesterday I've realised that I can take control of some of this. I hold my hands up, physically I've let myself go. I'm not sure if it was because I saw that I was losing my looks so I started to think 'oh whats the point?', or if I stopped caring first. Chicken and egg I suppose. Anyway, I can take some steps to improve my appearance.
I enjoyed reading the article by Marilyn Glenville, thanks for posting the link. I was very interested in what she was saying about nutrition.
I'm going to be a bit more gentle with myself in some respects, but at the same time get a bit more discipline back with regard to looking after my skin, wearing smarter clothes etc.

Overall I'm going to try to take a more positive approach - although I won't rule out the odd whinge on here! I just need some confidence back.

Red Doe (I love your name!), I agree about the celeb culture. I think its double hard for us because we're the first generation that's had this additional pressure.

Dawning

Morning Choille and Shykins, I missed your posts they appeared as I was writing mine.
I'm another 3am'er too! I do usually get back to sleep though,thank goodness.

shykins

oh yes i get back to sleep too - just before the alarm goes off GRRR

dawning good idea to make some plans, if we can look the best we can then thats got to be good - who wants to look plastic anyways lol

Dawning

shykins wrote: »

oh yes i get back to sleep too - just before the alarm goes off GRRR

oh Shykins, that does happen to me too. Two days a week I have to be up at 5.30am for work, and those are the nights I always wake at 3am, and go back to sleep at about 5am. So annoying!

bellamonkey

THANK YOU...... I thought I was the only one waking up at 3am, 4am, 5am and just getting off to sleep when the alarm goes off. I get the anxiety as well, I was putting a lot of my problems down to an under active thyroid, but reading these post has made me realise its the menopause.

Firebird

Good afternoon all.
Well it was 5am for me again. I am really being spoiled this week for sleep.
I was the same for a while bellamonkey then when I began to look at the symptoms as a whole it became obvious but before that I just thought I was losing it.
Dawning, I totally agree with taking some control. I was feeling pretty low for a while and just hated passing a mirror - refused to look. I then gave the wardrobe a good turnout I was ruthless. I then started to wear a little make up, something I have not done in years. I don't go out much - quite often only to the supermarket once a week - but I decided that it was for me so it didn't matter if I was going out or not. I now make the effort to put on a little make up and do my hair every morning which actually takes no time at all now that I have incorporated it into my routine. It makes me feel a little better.

As for these celebs, the only thing is when they start down the cosmetic enhancement route they have to maintain it. Meanwhile every other area of the body not being treated still ages. Where to draw the line.......

Glad

Hi
I know the closure of some threads upset some people, so below I've quoted a message from our Forum Manager which I hope you'll all read.
As long as a thread keeps to the rules of MSE there isn't a problem. The Health Board is one of the moneysaving boards as outlined below, so this thread has to stay a thread discussing the moneysaving issues of going through the menopause, not general chat or medical advice.

If posts do start to regularly break the rules I will refer the thread to the abuse team

thanks Glad

MSE_Forum_Manager wrote: »

Hi Folks

Please take a few mins to read and digest this post as we're experiencing a high volume of complaints about some members who frequent this board.

The Health aspect of this board, when it was born, was for people to provide MONEYSAVING advice to keep the cost of staying healthy down. To this end, we were more than happy for people to show where an over the counter style product could be found cheapest, but began with a view that recommendation and advice on health issues wasn't allowed. Frankly, this is an internet forum about MoneySaving, and there are hundreds if not thousands of boards that solely cater to health issues.

Over time, we have tried to allow the community that has evolved organically to chat in more general terms, providing recommendation was still kept to a minimum. However over the last year specifically, the lines have now become blurred and it is time to reign the board in somewhat.

Please understand that this type of issue is EXTREMELY difficult for both the Forum Team, but also the Board Guides to call. We could turn around and remove any single instance of non MoneySaving from this board, including what people deem to be very general advice and specifically support threads.

This brings me on to the mental health thread, although there are a number of similar threads on various topics offering support. We see a support thread as a place where people with similar issues or problems can get together and help each other. They are fast becoming places where people get together and argue and bicker with each other. Added to that, some members are definitely pushing our patience with "grey area" reference to vested interest help. This has to stop.

The amount of resource we are allocating to this board is fast pushing us towards deleting ANYTHING non MoneySaving, though that isn't a decision that has been taken yet. This is a "help us to help you" appeal. I don't think we can be fairer than that - we aren't creating these posts, but we (and i include the Board Guides in this), are taking a huge amount of abuse (and a lot of it is pretty nasty and uncalled for) trying to mediate.

Myself, my team, and the Board Guides (within their remit) always try to take an action that we believe is the best one for the board and the majority of users. Anyone believing we are hatching some machiavellian plan to cause a problem on our own board (and remember our jobs), is probably best looking for alternative forums to spend their time. We have a strict guide, as set out by Martin, that we work to and we do our best to keep a vast and varied demographic as happy as we can.

We can't please everyone all the time, but there are also times where it seems some members, with anonymity and a FREE account, are happy to complain and cause arguments and revel in the fallout. Please stop.

I hope this message has been firmly but fairly conveyed; we want this board to be a friendly and helpful community.

As a final note, please remember we are here to help. If you have an issue, simply report it to [EMAIL="abuse@moneysavingexpert.com"]abuse@moneysavingexpert.com[/EMAIL] and let us deal with it.

nutsohazelnuts

I am a male, and well past menopause age but my lovely wife's struggles throughout that terrible time are still extremely fresh in my mind. They undoubtedly have a financial dimension. Almost everything does after all. I fail to see how a discussion on menopause could avoid being money saving.

The mere act of supporting people through difficult times save them money since they do not have to engage the services of a paid counsellor or get through far too many bottles of gin!

For this reason I believe that support threads should not be closed or moved when they become a little chatty. The chat itself is money saving as a lifeline of support for people.

Have some compassion and empathy please The Powers That Be.

Red_Doe

Hi
I know the closure of some threads upset some people, so below I've quoted a message from our Forum Manager which I hope you'll all read.
As long as a thread keeps to the rules of MSE there isn't a problem. The Health Board is one of the moneysaving boards as outlined below, so this thread has to stay a thread discussing the moneysaving issues of going through the menopause, not general chat or medical advice.

If posts do start to regularly break the rules I will refer the thread to the abuse team

thanks Glad

Then can you refer to the abuse team some of the threads that are as banal as how long were you celibate etc? Which is only one of quite a few threads I`ve read on these boards (sorry, can`t remember all of the titles) that have bu**er all to do with MS and are almost purely chatty?
I understand the need to keep a certain amount of relevance there, the whole forum is about moneysaving after all, but for goodness sake, surely a little non confrontational, non aggressive chat (unlike one or two threads I`ve seen go on for ages without any censure) can`t harm the board`s image.
I do understand the non medical advice rule, but no chat?
What is this? Nazi Britain all of a sudden? We aren`t in the schoolroom either.

Red_Doe

What about if this thread is moved to the Money Savers Arms? Would it be alright to chat about it in there?