Menopause Matters

teachergirl

poet123 we could be the same person!!!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

choille

Yes - It is a time of reflection, as this time of year is too. It's the nights drawing in.

I think we all have to watch that negative inner voice & try & still the 'I can't...' 'I'm too old....' 'I'll never......' as soon as you find yourself doing that, stop & replace with all the things you have done, would like to do & say , 'I will.......' 'I can...'

If that makes sense.
It's blowing a gale here, I have been up most of the night with the noise of it - what's annoying is I look & feel as if I have a hangover.

All the best

dogcat_2

Poet123....I can sympathise with you..I too feel the same. Iam always 'Mum'..and Im alway here for everyone. The thing is no one seems to be there for me. I listen to everyone's troubles..sort things out, clean, cook, shop, help with homework..the list is endless. My youngest has just turned 13, my sons just gone off to Uni...and the rest live quite a way from me. I have six altogether, so there's always someone that needs me for something.

teachergirl

poet123 Simply supplements sent me a brochure...but no supplements as yet either:(

spirit

Bronnie wrote: »

I can empathise with many aspects of your situation...we have many similarities.

As a general observation, I find "being busy" is a great distraction technique....... in both negative and positive ways. Positive in that if you are prone to anxiety and worry it takes your mind off things; negative in that it can push aside things that really should be dealt with.

It's very early days for you in your new house though and I think decisions about moving away should be stalled for a bit, also take the time to enjoy the house. As for the job, too old to retrain, personally I'd disagree, especially with our working lives likely to be extended. At certain times in our lives though, there's a lot to be said for a job that's not too demanding. Maybe for the winter,try to put your restlessness in a box labelled "pending" and try to focus on the present.

Now your renovations are out of the way, can you plan some activities to look forward to through the winter? A regular evening class or exercise class you enjoy. Visit to another town window-shopping and lunch once a month? Do you read? Promise yourself to take in a new book or movie once a month? What tourist attractions are there in your new area? Plan a "free" outing/walk once a fortnight. A massage or pedicure treat if you can budget for it? A bargain winter sun break or a couple of days city break with a cheapie ryanair flight?

On a practical basis, I'm attacking my hatred of winter grey and gloom head-on this year! Daylight light bulbs and the afore-mentioned ebay bargain SAD lamp. Trying to keep focussed on a healthy diet and avoiding the stodgy carbs and too much casual wine-glugging! I'm going for overnight spa break with my DD next month for my birthday (good rates at this time of year before Xmas!) and am fortunately able to grab a cheap week in the sun to be arranged, depending on work.

I manage to supplement the cost of most of my hols by an ongoing sale of my accumulation of "stuff" on ebay, just the small unwanted bits and bobs that accumulate over the years that I would previously chucked, but it's amazing what people will buy and I just keep drip-feeding it onto ebay 10 items a week or so. Got £170 in my Paypal account atm to put towards this trip.


I do a lot of stuff on my own tbh and it suits me just fine. I've got a bit selfish in my fifties, after a lifetime of keeping other people happy as we tend to do as daughters, wives and mums. I've been through the major family responsibilities bit mostly now and am fairly free to please myself at last!!

It's very true Bronnie, I have in the past deliberately kept busy to avoid dealing with other stuff. Not since I've been here though.

Part of me wants to stay and enjoy the house, I love my new bathroom and the induction hob in the kitchen particularly. :T

I won't do anything til the Spring anyway. Been e-mailing sister this morning. they've had a last minute cash buyer and are looking to move in about 3 weeks time :eek: I'm trying to help her find rental accommodation in Cornwall for them - and the cat and dog, which is proving more difficult.

they are going to rent for a bit until the find the [STRIKE]wreck[/STRIKE] they are hoping to buy. They will be running some sort of business and has said she will be looking for staff. Now that could be interesting.

I've been looking too at doing another OU course, so that's still an option. Not a lot in the way of attractions locally but as in my previous town/city, it's an hour on the train to London and I love the museums and galleries there.

Ah, TGIF, there is something quite nice about Friday's. I am a Strictly fan, not fussed about X factor this year but can't wait for the Jungle one :T

shykins

aaah poet i sympathise i am always mum too, especially this year when my son (13) has (after many years) been diagnosed with ADHD and isnt in full time school. i just want to scream hey what about me???? its so hard trying to keep some sort of routine for him and fighting the demons of the LEA etc

i long to just shoot off on holiday with hubby but everytime we get close something happens that stops us. i feel so angry and tired i snap at everybody. i just know u lot will understand where i am coming from

spirit maybe their business taking off and wanting staff will enable u to achieve what u want - just dont rush into anything like the others said take some time to enjoy your achievement

bronnie i agree keeping fit and active and having things to look forward to help a great deal with the feeling flat as we do at this time of year.

oh and dont all forget chrimbo is coming!!!

Bronnie

shykins wrote: »

bronnie i agree keeping fit and active and having things to look forward to help a great deal with the feeling flat as we do at this time of year.

oh and dont all forget chrimbo is coming!!![/QUOTE]



doesn't like Christmas

shykins

jeez please dont say that <sniff> its the one thing i am looking forward to after such a crap year

Rowan9

Hello peeps
I am 50 (reeeeaaallly???:shocked:) and have managed to survive a week of my stepsons + one's girlfriend staying. I have felt tense, anxious, uptight - any other words or have all my words gone??? i love them dearly but am a bit mixed up with this menopause effect lately. I need space and ....more space. And someone to be a chaffeur would be good as I managed to drive ONTO small stupid bollards today which weren't there the other day - BUT a kind taxi driver behind me got out and gave me steering directions to get off them. He also told the peeping traffic to shut up . How come a couple of years back I was a fulltime time lecturer, doing a Masters through the OU and also my teaching cert at the same time? AND I was sane and rational + had energy?
Thank goodness for this lovely safe place to come .
This isn't medical advice at all, just a mulling over what I am trying - Bachs remedies - a prescribed one where you tick the boxes (several!!) which seem relevant and then they post you a remedy for about £9. I like Rock Rose for sheer awful panic, having had a bad scenario a few years ago and knowing it worked for me. So I am taking something which may or may not make me less vigilant and tense. haven't much hope for it! Vitamin-wise, we're on just the t$sco multi vits and also a fizzy orange vit C as we've both been laid low with colds lately. Try to remember to take the eve primrose oil and also have started cod liver oil. Take Brewers yeast tabs (Holl$nd and Barrrrrett as well as others) and have for years. I remember saying to my (doubting Thomas) doctor that he should recommend them to anyone with slight anxiety as they are v good (in my opinion only!).
Good luck with this all. I have printed out the lovely menopause post from a few pages ago and my DH has said he will read it tomorrow! hurrah!
W

Firebird

Hi WMF, It is amazing how "simple" hormones or the lack of them can completely change you and destroy your confidence etc. Who would have thought they could be so powerful.

Well I am off to have a glass of wine now and that is sure to bring on a flush and thats the first glass. I haven't ben getting too many lately but unfortunately a glass of wine will do it. Still some things are worth it.:beer: