Call Me Callous if you like....but maybe i'm not.

Mustbeananswer??

Yorkie1 wrote: »

If your first post had included any reference at all to you loving her,

But why would I do that on a MONEYSAVING site???


Would I want her to live with me if I didn't love her??:eek::eek::eek:


I should imagine that would be really uncomfortable!!

iB1

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

But why would I do that on a MONEYSAVING site???


Would I want her to live with me if I didn't love her??:eek::eek::eek:


I should imagine that would be really uncomfortable!!

'cos you're skint and need the money?

SouthernBellE*

MBAA

There is an interesting post in moneysaving in marriages called living apartners

A link to an article in the papers makes an unbiased account on why so many couples prefer to live seperately.

HTH

wannabe_sybil

I have been reading this thread with interest.

May I say that I think that if Jackie were to move in with you it would save you money but not save her money.

Also, this is a money saving site. Many on here need to save money because of the actions of a former partner and understand a need for independence in the context of emotional security and future financial security. There is always a trade-off.

If Jackie moved in with you would you be willing to put her name on the deeds of your home as a way of ensuring her future financial security?

moneysaymoneydo

You may have a point selfish selfish jackie for having a life i think im going to ask my neighbour if we can move into one of our houses and rent out the other - after all think of the money :j

Spammage City me thinks!!!!

Go Jackie if this is the best then ill take the rest ;-)

Mustbeananswer??

wannabe_sybil wrote: »

I have been reading this thread with interest.

May I say that I think that if Jackie were to move in with you it would save you money but not save her money.

Also, this is a money saving site. Many on here need to save money because of the actions of a former partner and understand a need for independence in the context of emotional security and future financial security. There is always a trade-off.

If Jackie moved in with you would you be willing to put her name on the deeds of your home as a way of ensuring her future financial security?

I would....


I'd expect her to come onto the Mortgage as well...surely that would be fair.Its a good deal for her the house has appreciated greatly in the year that i've had it.I'm happy for Her to have a share in that.....

Has anybody thought.....i'm taking a chance as well???;);)

ILW

Have you ever considered that she maybe does not want to live with you?

bunglesabout

Hi Martin
Just a quick query. Your main focus (in financial terms) seems to be Jackie moving in with you, but what is wrong with you (temporarily) moving in with her?
This would allow you to 'trial' living together. You would be able to rent or possibly sell your property, which would allow you to generate money, as living with Jackie would mean bills split 3 ways.
Yes her son (and you) may be unhappy with this, but it would be Jackie's decison to make and if you are struggling financially and need help, ask her for it. Her response will tell you a great deal about where she sees your future going.

Also, not sure how HA work, but if you moved in, would you go on her rent book, and thereby be able to get their assistance should things take a turn for the worse?

There are several options open to you here (including ones already posted) but you do seem focused on Jackie making all the sacrifices here instead of compromise and as unpalatable as it may seem we all have to do things we don't like to do in the course of life.

All of this is hypothetical of course and I am no financial advisor, but my partner sold her property and moved in with me, as financially it made better sense (my mortgage is lower than hers). However it wasn't a instant decison and I didn't try and force the issue.
I just gave her the facts and figures, gave the options (and there were more than one) and let her make her own mind up.

I do have to say though, that if Jackie has not shown any interest in living fully with you in the last 5 years, that it is unlikely she will change this position by you trying to 'push' her in to do so. And mainly quoting financial reasons will probably backfire on you badly.

At the end of the day though (from a financial perspective) I truly do believe that the 'safest' and most 'cost effective' option for both of you would be for you to live in Jackies house. She doesn't lose her secure home, you do not lose any money and if things don't work out after the trial, you can both go your seperate ways without (financial) cost to either yourself or her.

Just my thoughts.....

Bungle

honey06

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

I'd expect her to come onto the Mortgage as well...surely that would be fair.Its a good deal for her the house has appreciated greatly in the year that i've had it.I'm happy for Her to have a share in that.....

ummm has the house actually appreciated as much as you seem determined to believe??

your previous posts said it has cost you £76k, and has been valued by Santander (for a second mortgage application which was turned down) at £85k

"Mortgage 60K Santander
HSBC Loan 10k (to clear) (short term loan)
Credit Card 6K
Valuation...110k local Estate Agent.... Santander 85k.
Zero Cash Flow....Short-Term Loan repayments crippling me"

"Got a meeting with Santander...they going to entertain a second mortgage to clear the debts......Gut feeling???
They only valued it at £85,000....compared to local Estate Agent £110,000.
I have already adressed my incomings and outgoings.Can pull a bit of cash from Mumsy to get me over a hump....!"

clutton_2

""I'd expect her to come onto the Mortgage as well""

so you want your lovely lady to leave her relatively cheap HA rental to pay half of your mortgage ? how will THAT make her better off ????