Call Me Callous if you like....but maybe i'm not.

Gwhiz

Pure comedy gold!!!!!!!!

Jowo_2

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

...Us living apart puts an enormous strain on our relationship.One of those strains is the financial side.....

It seems the financial strain isn't actually shared by her, given the cheap rent she enjoys and refrain from sharing a household with you.

To formalise her return on your outlay, I think you should issue her with an invoice and take her to court if she doesn't pay up in 28 days.

Make sure you itemise each domestic expense that she's caused you for example

Transport
Social
Holidays

You could also include a line for grooming, and bill her your expenses associated with haircuts, toiletries and clothing that you've bought in order to impress her.

harz99

Jackie100 wrote: »

Martin, this is Jackie.

You are SO dumped!!!!

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I'd love to believe this post, but the sceptic in me says Troll:D

Jowo_2

My aunt had a !!!!less husband whose terrible way with money made them homeless. He hid his debts from her and the court order for the possession of the property,too. Bailiffs came unexpectedly one day and chucked her and her children out of their home with just the clothes on their backs.

Scroll forward many years later and her current boyfriend can't understand why she won't let him buy her council flat that she has on a secure tenancy and live together. She's already suffered from depending on someone in the past who badly let her down. But this guy, seemingly dazzled by the discount and the savings from a shared household, simply can't understand why he's not the shining knight he thinks he is, the risks that she takes from losing her dependence. I guess he's a 'numbers' guy rather than a 'feelings' guy, too. She wants to be her own person, a bit like the poor put upon Jackie.

aliasojo

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

I NEED TO STOP WASTING MONEY!!!!!:j:j

Ok you've ignored my last question (again) so here's a different one....how are you wasting money? What are you spending on?

(Note: no emotional aspect, just plain and simple factual question relative to your post. )

nutsohazelnuts

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

Do you think you could all put the handbags down and maybe we could start again????

I don't have a handbag, but I am only too happy to begin again from the beginning.

As I understand the situation, you are in dire financial straits and you would like your lady love to move in with you in order that the financial contribution she will then make to the household will help pay your living expenses and debts. How am I doing so far?

You are unhappy that the aforementioned lady seems reluctant to give up her family home, her son, and her financial security to throw her lot in with you.

Moving in with you would put your lady friend in a less secure position than at present, but you want her to do it because it would help you.

In fact, you go further than that, you seem to think she has some obligation to do so, and is costing you money by not doing so.

Furthermore, you are rude to the people who respond to your plight because they don not seem to agree with you that the best solution to your situation is somebody else's money.

My kindly meant suggestion is that you prepare a SOA and post it on the DFW board. The posters there will assist you in solving your own problems, rather than harassing poor Jackie into doing it for you.

Before I go, could you possibly explain what you mean by your references to "subbing it" "handbags" and people being "colonial"? I genuinely have no idea what meaning you are trying to convey.

beccad

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

I definately do not want a Lodger and were we to stay together neither would Jackie.It would seriously affect the dynamics of the weekend when she visits......

Why, what do you get up to? (Sorry, nosey!)

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

Of Course I do.I worship the ground she walks on.I have never met anyone like her....why do you think I want this to happen.

Have you told Jackie this?

If the property has gone up, as you say, from £60k to £110k, then perhaps you could sell it in order to sort out your finances?

Mustbeananswer??

I'm sorry but I can't hope to reply to all the posts on here so if you have missed out on a reply I apologise.That is unless your post is laden with sarcasm as some of them are....


PLEASE read the opening post again!!!It is clear that the Financial aspect was what I wanted to discuss on this "Money Saving Site".If I'd have wanted relationship advice there's somewhere in town I can go and have a face-to-face meeting.


Sadly the image of put-upon Jackie is totally wrong.She is a very feisty,determined,single minded,opinionated and capable Scot as you could wish to meet.Those are some of the things I love about her.Similairly your impression of me as a 20-stone,arrogant,short-sighted Bully may also be wrong.....but suddenly you've all become Psychologists and Relationship Experts.


So could we go back to the financial aspect please.Does living on your own cost you 5 Grand a year or not...as per the BBC article??:beer::beer:

harz99

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

Does living on your own cost you 5 Grand a year or not...as per the BBC article??:beer::beer:

Impossible to answer, depends on so many variables such as lifestyle, where you live/stay, diet, cooking abilities etc. etc.

Could be more, could be less.

Either way this thread seems to be going in circles and has run its course for me; bye.:beer:

CatValou

Mustbeananswer?? wrote: »

What I am in fact doing is investing big licks in her independence

Hiya Martin, I'd like to help, but I'm not sure I understand what investment you are making?

Is Jackie struggling financially and you are bailing her out on a regular basis? If so, how much and how often? Is this the cause of the financial suicide you mention?

Is she in danger of losing her hard to get Housing Authority place through arrears or something? Is her son unable to contribute anything to help her?

If you are worse off through helping Jackie then I think you are reluctantly going to have to stop. It does people no favours to enable bad financial management. Helping someone to learn how to manage their money themselves is the best thing you can do for them.

Can we have a few more details please?