sons girlfriend kicke dout what do i do ?

Amanda65

kurjam wrote: »

thank you janern, my point exacatly.
my 4 and 6 year year old keep asking where she sleeping, when she going home....
i dont want my kids routine disruped

And rightly so - your main concern should always be your own children. So being day 3 (?) has the situation moved on? have yout alked to the girl about her plans or managed to get hold of her mother? I think the tangent about benefits has taken the thread slightly away from your original post. If she really cannot go home she needs to contact the LA and tell them she is homeless and take it from there but hopefully you can all get together and talk before things get that far.

Kt8

i would speak to girls mum.
And please don't assume there will just be a hostel for her to go to or if she declares herself NFA.
Hostels are very hard to come by in alot of areas now and it's hard work, you can't just turn up, you have to apply to them, be interviewed etc, if your under 18 or over its hard. She has benefit of being 17 and social services can help if it gets that far

kurjam

tried her mum, got no reply.... so when she gets back tonight from college think im gonna have to ask her what her mum has said about her going back and see what response i get.... and then try her mum again

its such an awkward situation as i dont want to upset my son, has he is so happy since they got together......

aloise

poe.tuesday wrote: »

so she has stayed for one night and you already want your home and privacy back, perhaps you should have not suggested that she stay if you were not willing to suffer the slight inconvience of helping her out in her hour of need

Perhaps if you live near enough you can take the girl in. Seems like a sensible solution to me.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

Do you know why she was kicked out? could you not go round mums with the girl and try and sort it out?

Have you spoken to social services ?

I didnt think the Girl could declare shes homeless whilst she is staying at BF's mum's - cause technically, she does have a roof over her head?

poe.tuesday

aloise wrote: »

Perhaps if you live near enough you can take the girl in. Seems like a sensible solution to me.

I am in hampshire, if she is anywhere near she is more than welcome to come and stay whilst she gets herself sorted out - as for it being a sensible idea, yes it is but moreover, it's a compasionate one.

some people seem to forget that this girl is in need and if the parents and people she knows are not willing to help then I will as the last thing I want is to see yet another teen on the street - I have been there myself and know that it was it was only through the compassion of strangers that my situation was sorted out

kurjam

well she spoke to mum and was going home tonight...
then at 9.30pm i had mum on the phone asking me why she was not home at 8pm as arranged..(which i knew nothing about) and the gf said she knew nothing about it.....
anyway she then told me she`s a little liar and its no wonder none of her family want anything to do with her,

10 mins later got a message from mum saying sorry to me for shouting......and gf to be home by 8.15am to get her stuff for college
so will see what thursday brings

kurjam

poe.tuesday wrote: »

I am in hampshire, if she is anywhere near she is more than welcome to come and stay whilst she gets herself sorted out - as for it being a sensible idea, yes it is but moreover, it's a compasionate one.

some people seem to forget that this girl is in need and if the parents and people she knows are not willing to help then I will as the last thing I want is to see yet another teen on the street - I have been there myself and know that it was it was only through the compassion of strangers that my situation was sorted out

thanks but we are not near you

Savvy_Sue

Clearly, this lass needs some help, because either she is incapable of hearing what her mother says to her, or her mother is incapable of clear communication.

I'd suggest talking to someone at college: this won't be the first time a student has been thrown out / found it impossible to continue living at home, and there are options for young people - better provision in some areas than in others, of course! See if there's a local Foyer for starters.

thorsoak

Let's hope that GF and mum can sort it out between themselves .....you've done what any sensible mum would do - none of us would like to think of a son/daughter's friend with nowhere to sleep - and let's be honest - there can't be many of us who have experienced the teenage years from a parent's perspective wouldn't have wished to throw a stroppy teenager out in the street to "find out what life's really about" at least once during the teenager years!

By staying calm and non-judgmental you are helping both mother and daughter to resolve their differences - I think that when it's all over, I would be inclined to text Mum and suggest that the two of you go out for a glass of wine/cup of coffee to commiserate with each other over teenagers!

My mum - bless her - had three teenage daughters with just over three years between us - and when she (and we) had survived those years, and were busy having children of our own, and would sigh and say we'd be glad when they were going through the night/were out of nappies, etc etc etc she would shake her head and say - oh this is the easy bit!