sons girlfriend kicke dout what do i do ?

the_cat

You say you do not mind helping her, so why not offer her a place to stay for the next few days. Encourage her to sort out whatever the problem is with her mum in that time but give her a deadline. If she is not able to return home by the agreed date she will have to seek help from college/social services/wherever and at that point will have to consider herself 'homeless' and sort out a proper place to stay.

99% sure she will be back home by then though!!:D

kurjam

i do not have room as i already have my own 5 kids to support and yes me and hubby work. . . Before any1 asks . . Just think she should be with her own family . . . Her mum as not even rang her 2 see if she is ok . . . Just dont know what to do . .

RAS

kurjam

HAs the girl been to see her college welfare officer?

hngrymummy

I would second/third the idea of encouraging her to see her college tutor or a welfare officer at college. These days they should be able to rpovide the right kind of advice and support. I had a friend at college who was given a lot of support by her tutor when she was made homeless. At the very least her tutor needs to know in case she starts falling behind with her work or missing lessons.

One thing to be aware of. She may be young, but some councils will not class her as vulnerable enough to provide immediate accomodation.

There are also many charities out there who will be able to provide her with support and advice. The college should know about them and be able to put her in touch with them. Which area are you in?

mountainofdebt

kurjam wrote: »

i Her mum as not even rang her 2 see if she is ok . ..

This to me speaks volumes

jellyhead

When is she 18? I'm just wondering if she'll get more support and be more of a priority for housing if she is 17, rather than seeing how things go then ending up with an 18 year old adult whose mum doesn't want her.

getmore4less

Tell her she can stay for one month only £300(or the going rate for a lodger).

Do a deal with the other mum you take in her daughter if they take in your son.

Wicked_witch

One idea kurjam, how about calling the mum and telling her you're happy for the daughter to stay, so will be calling Child Benfit, Tax credits and any other appropriate people tomorrow to let them know all the child related benefits will need to be paid to you from now on. Also any income support, CSA etc payments that mum may currently be receiving because of her daughter. I shouldn't wonder if that helped to tip the scales...

LadyGooGoo_2

OP The college will have pastoral care obligations and will be able to help.

FATBALLZ wrote: »

Stop exaggerating. Any child brought up by a half decent parent should be more or less independent at that age. They should be able to cook, wash up, catch a bus, do their homework, wipe their backside and all the rest of it. She just needs a place to stay, no more should be required.

Being a parent of a teenager is about a whole lot more than wiping backsides and feeding them. If she was a full grown adult then all she might need is a place to stay, and the OP wouldn't need to feel responsible for an adult, but she's not an adult is she?

FATBALLZ

LadyGooGoo wrote: »

Being a parent of a teenager is about a whole lot more than wiping backsides and feeding them. If she was a full grown adult then all she might need is a place to stay, and the OP wouldn't need to feel responsible for an adult, but she's not an adult is she?

Shes 17, more than old enough to be living on her own. Is it a modern thing to baby children until they are in their early 30's or have people always been doing it?