sons girlfriend kicke dout what do i do ?

Oldernotwiser

Penny-Pincher!! wrote: »

As she is under 18, she is still counted as a minor and social services will have a duty to house her.

PP
xx

That may be the theory but the reality is very different.

kurjam

she is 18 in january, she said she will talk to her tutor tomorrow.
i am going to get her mums phone number and speak to her (if she will speak to me) and yes if she doesnt want her i will tell her im ringing cb and tax credits....
thanks for your help everyone xx

Ms_Chocaholic

just seen this thread ... does she have any other family members who could take her in, ie dad, older siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, surely there must be some other family member who could put her up

andrealm

Money_maker wrote: »

But (playing devils advocate) how do we not know that the girl told her mum she was sick of being at home and was leaving to move in with her boyfriend?

This would explain no telephone call from the mum.

I would be interested to speak to the mother and hear her side of it before arrangements are made for a new home. It may not be quite as black and white as it seems.

Maybe, but would you just let your 17 year old move in with their boyfriend and his parents without checking that they were happy with the situation? Not even speak to them about it? Seems a bit odd to me.

SailorSam

I think i'd be getting in touch with the girls parents, ok they've had a row and she's been kicked out, or maybe she walked out but i imagine her Mum would still have been worried last night when her daughter never came home. At least phone to say the girl is safe. Then you can look to see what can be done.
I can't agree with the posters who think the Gf should be allowed to stay, the Op has already said she does not have a spare room, where is this girl to sleep ? Surely she must have some other family she can turn to.
OP you did the right thing last night by giving the girl somewhere to stay but today needs to be spent looking for a better solution to the situation.

kurjam

Ms_Chocaholic wrote: »

just seen this thread ... does she have any other family members who could take her in, ie dad, older siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, surely there must be some other family member who could put her up

her dad is in america (mum and dad split up)
she has a sister who moved out of home and lives in a bedsit with a friend so no space there.
the other daughter moved away and is not local, and the girl wants to stay around this area because of college etc.
i think she is very mixed up and does not know what to do herself.

to be fair she is helping around the house and not treating it like an hotel etc.

think im just going to have to sit it out, and see what happens.

should i contact tax credits, child benefit etc or just wait a while....?? as not sure if we would be eligable to tax credits for her anyway as mum is getting them

Sambucus_Nigra

kurjam wrote: »

her dad is in america (mum and dad split up)
she has a sister who moved out of home and lives in a bedsit with a friend so no space there.
the other daughter moved away and is not local, and the girl wants to stay around this area because of college etc.
i think she is very mixed up and does not know what to do herself.

to be fair she is helping around the house and not treating it like an hotel etc.

think im just going to have to sit it out, and see what happens.

should i contact tax credits, child benefit etc or just wait a while....?? as not sure if we would be eligable to tax credits for her anyway as mum is getting them

Erm; did you call her mum yet?

Amanda65

kurjam wrote: »

should i contact tax credits, child benefit etc or just wait a while....?? as not sure if we would be eligable to tax credits for her anyway as mum is getting them

I think until you've spoken to her mother and given them both a little while to cool off this really is taking things too far :eek: On the one hand you say in your first post you have no room and want your privacy back and now you're talking about claiming tax credits for her :think: As a parent of teenagers, and accepting I do not know the girl, her mother or what their relationship is, I think I would see it as my duty to try and gt them together to sort this out. You still haven't said what the reason for her being thrown out was (and obviously don't have to if you don't want to) but it would be interesting to know.

poe.tuesday

kurjam wrote: »

should i contact tax credits, child benefit etc or just wait a while....?? as not sure if we would be eligable to tax credits for her anyway as mum is getting them

does the lure of money change your outlook 'helping' this girl?

thorsoak

kurjam wrote: »

.........to be fair she is helping around the house and not treating it like an hotel etc.

think im just going to have to sit it out, and see what happens.

should i contact tax credits, child benefit etc or just wait a while....?? as not sure if we would be eligable to tax credits for her anyway as mum is getting them

If daughter is not living there, then her mother is no longer entitled to claim them! I do not know the ins and outs as to whether you would be entitled to claim them or not, should she continue to live with you - but maybe a call to the office that deals with your tax credits might put you on the right path there.

But it's not a situation that you want to continue for too long - apart from the over-crowding issue with your own 5 children, there is the factor that eventually this bf/gf thing will either escalate into full-scale relationship or disintegrate -with one or the other being left heartbroken