My boyfriend has dumped me

Chrismojam

Chrismojam wrote:

Fair enough ........:p

((((Hugs)))))))............ignore my previous post........in a cynical/crappy mood today......my thoughts are with you love...take care;)

Toomuchdebt

Well I think you're right Chris-he hasn't called me today despite telling me yesterday that he would so I think you hit the nail on the head that he was staying over last week to see how he felt and if he wanted to come back or not.Guess not.Yes I was stupidly hoping he would want to come back and that he would ring me today and tell me that but I always was an idiot.

Chrismojam

Toomuchdebt wrote:

Well I think you're right Chris-he hasn't called me today despite telling me yesterday that he would so I think you hit the nail on the head that he was staying over last week to see how he felt and if he wanted to come back or not.Guess not.Yes I was stupidly hoping he would want to come back and that he would ring me today and tell me that but I always was an idiot.

Not an idiot love.....just hopeful that it wasn't really over that's all.....I'd probably be the same (well I would be with this OH anyway....not the last one.......couldn't wait to get rid of him:p:D )

.........I actually thanked the girl ex-OH went off with.....but then the dope did think it was a good idea to bring this girl to my house after she had 'run away from home' to be with him....silly cow.....he wasn't too appreciative of me telling her what I thought of him.....well he was in the room at the time.....my answer....you don't want me to tell your g/f what I think of you.....don't bring her to my bloody house!.....and after he split up from her......I got a phone call from the next one asking my advice about him???:eek: What am I....a bloody agony aunt!!

Toomuchdebt

Chris that actually made me smile
He texted me to say goodnight and to wish me a nice night-didn't say why he hadn't called or anything so I just texted back goodnight and said that the younger 2 were ill.No reply to that.*sigh* I just don't get it.

dips_3

You know - my mum used to say "everything happens for a reason" - after years of wondering 'what bloody reason could this be happening for? ' I have finally realised she was probably right.

Sometimes I look back a the !!!!!! times and think 'what have I leant from this - what did I get out of this?' and do you know - I always come to the same conclusion - I woudn't be where I am today if it wasn't for 'such and such a thing'.

i know that if my mum hadn't died when I was so young I would probably never have learnt to stand on my own two feet and make my own way in life.

I know that it was having a disabled child and going through all the !!!!!! that goes with it that gave me the motivation to go to university, get a degree and get a job.

I know that bringing him up myself gave me the strength to deal with anything life can throw at me.

I know that being so poor 15 years ago that I was scrabbling around for money down the back of the sofa to feed myself gave me the mentality to avoid debt - save and make sure that I protect mysefl financially from any 'shocks' (I get worried if i don't have at least 6 months money to live on and I don't have any debt)

You will get through this and if you can take something positive from this you will be a stronger perosn at the end.

Don't let anyone tell you to 'put a brave face on'. Cry a lot, indulge yourself, moan like hell to anyone that will listen - AND THEN MOVE ON.

There is something out there waiting for you to find it - you just gotta look.

Love and hugs

Chrismojam

Toomuchdebt wrote:

Chris that actually made me smile
He texted me to say goodnight and to wish me a nice night-didn't say why he hadn't called or anything so I just texted back goodnight and said that the younger 2 were ill.No reply to that.*sigh* I just don't get it.

Yep...I can look back on those times and smile now.........I could quite happily have done a Jordache at the time (Brookside ref for those who don't remember...).....

We had what I call a 'tempestuous relationship'......somewhat volatile maybe nearer the mark...........let's just say he had no problem showing his anger.....to women anyway:mad: ......in my eyes (at the time anyway) I didn't see it as domestic violence....because I gave 'as good as I got'....if not more when the red mist decended.....then I grew up and got rid.....and technically I did get rid.....because I only found out about the girlfriend when he actually left without putting up a fight...so to speak...

Best thing hon, is to not try to make any sense of it........you will only be second guessing......unless he tell's you exactly why he broke it off....(and you won't want to hear that either really will you?) ...otherwise you'll just upset yourself more......

Just try and concentrate on yourself and the kids...........you are the most important people in all of this.....;)

Chrismojam

dips wrote:

You know - my mum used to say "everything happens for a reason" .........Sometimes I look back a the !!!!!! times and think 'what have I leant from this - what did I get out of this?' and do you know - I always come to the same conclusion - I woudn't be where I am today if it wasn't for 'such and such a thing'.......

So right....what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.........

Without going into great detail...I've known people having near breakdowns over far less than I've been through.......and I wonder ...how is that? ...then it dawns.........my experiences...however awful/sickening/crappy...have made me the person I am today***....which generally is a pretty nice person...mostly...and one not willing to take any crap.........and one who will fight for others/what's right.................might not get me anywhere mind....but I feel better:D

*** not TODAY though.....must be hormonal...........want to kill people today:o

gallygirl

aww bless tmd come here for a squeeze. xx If OH is as nice a person as you make out he'll be hurt too, I feel for both of you and your little uns. But better now than 2 yrs down the line. Take care and try to think positive.... no more of this to cope with......

was that the glimmer of a smile???

bengal-stripe

That’s how “Toomuchdebt” opened this thread:

My boyfriend has dumped me so I will not be having any money from him to help with my debts.

It’s a bit mercenary, isn’t it?

tabytha

bengal-stripe wrote:

That’s how “Toomuchdebt” opened this thread:


It’s a bit mercenary, isn’t it?

I'm tempted to agree. While it's a shame that this has happened, surely the loss of money is far less important than the loss of a companion?

Perhaps he left because you put too much pressure on him to contribute financially?