Sister in law neglecting children every weekend

purplepardalis

Life in my ivory tower is just fine thank you. And I have not made any assumptions. I am just responding to the facts as they have been written.

debbie_debt

alwaysonthego wrote: »

I would report this to the local social services department and let them decide whether the children are at risk.QUOTE]

I couldn't agree more. I've worked in the child protection field for years and this is does appear (off the brief description you've given) to be neglect if your father in law isn't always there. I would urge you to report the situation as soon as possible - you can do so in confidence if you're worried she may find out it was you. If you need the phone number for your local area, please PM me with the name of your local authority and I can easily get it for you.

BitterAndTwisted

I believe that the OP's reluctance to call SS was partly based on the fact that she has already been critical to SIL about her leaving the kids and fears that she would be instantly identified as the caller.

I think she's between a rock and a hard place, hence her enquiry here.

Counting_Pennies_2

I haven't had a chance to read all the responses, but I would say this could rebound on the FIL, she could argue she has left them in the charge of FIL and then he will get in trouble.

Tread carefully

Ex-Spendaholic

I can kind of imagine where you are in all of this. What does your OH say? Mine would mutter and complain about it (if it was his sister) but wouldn't do anything and that would leave me in the same situation you are in.

To be honest if you say anything to the SIL you aren't going to be popular with anyone and the reality is she probably isn't going to change the situation.

Personally I think you should just make a call to Social Services. If you can't face doing it yourself, do you have a friend who would make the call? That way when the war does break out you can look anyone in the eye and know you didn't make the call if you see what I mean.

I would definitely have her reported though as you'll never forgive yourself if anything happens.

Caroline73_2

Counting_Pennies wrote: »

I haven't had a chance to read all the responses, but I would say this could rebound on the FIL, she could argue she has left them in the charge of FIL and then he will get in trouble.

Tread carefully

So social workers question the mother (person with parental responsibilty) about leaving the children, she says 'my dad (who does not have parental responsibility) was looking after them' and the Dad gets in trouble.

Is that what you are saying?

Lucy1973

Ex-Spendaholic wrote: »

I can kind of imagine where you are in all of this. What does your OH say? Mine would mutter and complain about it (if it was his sister) but wouldn't do anything and that would leave me in the same situation you are in.

To be honest if you say anything to the SIL you aren't going to be popular with anyone and the reality is she probably isn't going to change the situation.

Personally I think you should just make a call to Social Services. If you can't face doing it yourself, do you have a friend who would make the call? That way when the war does break out you can look anyone in the eye and know you didn't make the call if you see what I mean.

I would definitely have her reported though as you'll never forgive yourself if anything happens.

Thank you,yes I think i'm going to have to get a friend to make the call. I'm going to say tho that I don't want to know when she has made the call,just so I know as little as possible(if that makes sense).

dark_lady

To Robpw2 Ok if those are the principles you are following i will then take it that if a relative of yours was caring for an elderly or disabled immobile relative of yours but needed the weekend off for a much needed break (and as a lot of carers are living on £53.90 a week so cant afford to pay for private care) you would be stepping up to the plate then!!!!!!

liney

dark_lady wrote: »

To Robpw2 Ok if those are the principles you are following i will then take it that if a relative of yours was caring for an elderly or disabled immobile relative of yours but needed the weekend off for a much needed break (and as a lot of carers are living on £53.90 a week so cant afford to pay for private care) you would be stepping up to the plate then!!!!!!

Would that be so unthinkable, or unbelievable? :rotfl:

dark_lady

In my experience yes. Its very easy to promise something if you know you never have to follow through.