Sister in law neglecting children every weekend

easilydistracted

I'm a social worker- though obviously not posting in work. As discussed previously, there's no minimum age in law for leaving children overnight, the NSPCC have some sensible guidelines re not leaving 16 year olds overnight alone and obviously being in charge of younger kids adds more responsiblity. However at a guess, bearing in mind I'm not a manager, I don't think this would be dealt with under child protection straight away. It would probably begin with advice giving and an agreement regarding not doing so in the future, then possible child protection process if there was a wider picture of concern or repetition. This is the sort of referral I'd hate getting on a Monday morning- immediate problem is the minute you go round to someone's house with information that they've left their children alone on a previous occasion they're going to deny it, especially if its reported as a general concern and grandad's often in the house. I always advise people that contact us about children being left unsupervised the best way to deal with it is call the police straight away.

MrsE_2

stormbreaker wrote: »

The main point of contact with the social services (operational) over a weekend and out of hours is the Emegency Duty Team who in my experience do not have staff to go out and check situations so they contact the police who have a duty to investigate and report.

Does she have to do it at the weekend?

And if it was out of hours, so what?

duchy

Seems to me there are TWO adults living in the house. BOTH are responsible for the welfare of the children-both morally and legally.

I find it really odd that a grandfather leaves his grandchildren overnight-most responsible adults wouldn't do this even if the arrangement was foisted on them with no notice. Seems to me the grandfather's priorities are as screwed up as his daughters. I wonder who she learned hers from ?

alm721

I think you really need to clarify how often this is occuring. How many nights a month can you definitely say the children are left alone all night. Seems odd that grandad goes out and stays out a lot, I wouldn't have thought this to be a terribly common situation. Are you sure you're not overestimating the time they are on there own.
Whilst I don't think it's appropriate for a 14 year old to be in charge of a 7 year old overnight, I also think your posts come accross a little bit lik you are annoyed with the sil and that may be clouding things.
I may be reading this wrong but when you say things like' I don't think fil should have to cope with this' you come across as sounds prehaps a bit jealous that fil has sil's kids. Honestly if fil is happy with the situation then I can't see how it's any of your business and if he's not happy with it then he's a grown man, he can sort it out himself.
If you're partner doesn't want to get invloved maybe you should listen. Unless you genuinly feel the kids are at risk then you should leave well alone as you'll be opening a massive can of worms.

Making comments like the kids are overweight just sounds petty. There are lots of overweight children and to imply that having an overweight child is potentally a child protection issue seems a bit much.
I agree the relationship you're sil has with the boyfriend sounds far from ideal and that this is not the best parenting but equally I don't think it sounds like a huge problem.
Many kids leave home and fend for themselves at 16 and are more than capable of doing so and some kids are more mature than others, this is hard to judge without knowing the kids but I really think if you can't convince your oh that it needs reporting then maybe it doesn't?

MrsE_2

duchy wrote: »

Seems to me there are TWO adults living in the house. BOTH are responsible for the welfare of the children-both morally and legally.

I find it really odd that a grandfather leaves his grandchildren overnight-most responsible adults wouldn't do this even if the arrangement was foisted on them with no notice. Seems to me the grandfather's priorities are as screwed up as his daughters. I wonder who she learned hers from ?

I agree, but the buck does stop with the mother.

andrealm

alm721 wrote: »

I think you really need to clarify how often this is occuring. How many nights a month can you definitely say the children are left alone all night. Seems odd that grandad goes out and stays out a lot, I wouldn't have thought this to be a terribly common situation. Are you sure you're not overestimating the time they are on there own.
Whilst I don't think it's appropriate for a 14 year old to be in charge of a 7 year old overnight, I also think your posts come accross a little bit lik you are annoyed with the sil and that may be clouding things.
I may be reading this wrong but when you say things like' I don't think fil should have to cope with this' you come across as sounds prehaps a bit jealous that fil has sil's kids. Honestly if fil is happy with the situation then I can't see how it's any of your business and if he's not happy with it then he's a grown man, he can sort it out himself.
If you're partner doesn't want to get invloved maybe you should listen. Unless you genuinly feel the kids are at risk then you should leave well alone as you'll be opening a massive can of worms.

Making comments like the kids are overweight just sounds petty. There are lots of overweight children and to imply that having an overweight child is potentally a child protection issue seems a bit much.
I agree the relationship you're sil has with the boyfriend sounds far from ideal and that this is not the best parenting but equally I don't think it sounds like a huge problem.
Many kids leave home and fend for themselves at 16 and are more than capable of doing so and some kids are more mature than others, this is hard to judge without knowing the kids but I really think if you can't convince your oh that it needs reporting then maybe it doesn't?

Or maybe her OH is just burying his head in the sand. The OP did say her OH felt the same as her, he was concerned about it.

Just about everyone on this thread has agreed that a 14 year old is too young to be left alone overnight, especially when there are 2 younger children as well, one of them only 7.

And at least one of the children isn't happy being left on his own, but the sil doesn't seem to care.:(

Spendless

MrsE wrote: »

I agree, but the buck does stop with the mother.

Indeed, but if mum has already b*ggered off out Grandad shouldn't do so too. Instead he should take it up with the children's mother and if it continues HE should seek further help- he would obviously have the support of his D-I-L (the OP) in doing this.

Valli

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I wonder what would happen if the schools knew this was happening? I wonder whether staff would report it if any of the children let slip that they're regularly on their own all weekend?

If a child in my class disclosed this to me (that he/she had been left in care of older sibling overnight) I would be following the procedure we have, and I believe all schools have, for dealing with at risk children. So this information would be recorded and passed to the relevant member of staff.

sock-knitter

i think its disgustin that the children are being left alone overnight, and i would certainly report it for the childrens safety, as long as you've got the facts right, and they are actually left alone and not with fil, then it is your duty to report the matter

jazzyjustlaw

VK-2008 wrote: »

there is no legal age when a child is allowed to babysit another

its at parents discretion

if somthing should happen its the parents responsibilty by law

Where did you hear that? I believe it is 14. There is no min age for a child to be left on their own up until the age of 18 a parent - not just mum but dad too - can be held responsible for negligence should the children be found to have been left on their own.