Sister in law neglecting children every weekend

shellsuit

robpw2 wrote: »

instead of grassing her up , why do you not look after the children they are your neices and nephews after alll

You are joking aren't you Rob?

Lucy1973

Valli wrote: »

Another way to look at this OP is IF the relationship goes further and this bloke wants to see more of your S-I-L, or have her move in with him, what's going to happen to the kids HE doesn't want and she doesn't appear to be too concerned about? To leave them for 48 hours or so every weekend is, IMHO, extreme and neglectful anyway. She can't know if they are getting their homework done or anything - and they must be feeling 'second best' if their mum would rather be with a bloke than them.

Funny you say this as we went out with them all for a meal last night,FIL was home this weekend to look after the kids(she was away for whole weekend again),and around 9pm she asked the oldest if he had done his homework,which he hadn't:(

Lucy1973

robpw2 wrote: »

instead of grassing her up , why do you not look after the children they are your neices and nephews after alll

I'm sorry but why should I??

Valli

robpw2 wrote: »

instead of grassing her up , why do you not look after the children they are your neices and nephews after alll

Once in a while would be fine - this is EVERY WEEKEND so she can go play 'happy families' with her BF and pretend, for a couple of days, she has no children and no responsibilities.

But she has.:o

How is THIS different from those women who leave their kids for a week or more while they fly off abroad for a holiday?
(Not been a publicised case of that, for a while, actually)

Savvy_Sue

I wonder what would happen if the schools knew this was happening? I wonder whether staff would report it if any of the children let slip that they're regularly on their own all weekend?

Oldernotwiser

Sorry if I've mised this but where is the OP's husband in all this and what does he think? Is this the way things go on in his family and is he concerned for his nephew/niece's wellbeing?

Lucy1973

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

I wonder what would happen if the schools knew this was happening? I wonder whether staff would report it if any of the children let slip that they're regularly on their own all weekend?

A couple of weeks ago,the oldest kept ringing us,pestering my son to go round there,moaning that "he was going to be all alone again" and my SIL appologised to me about him ringing us all the time. She made a joke of it saying " Dont go shouting this out to your friends about being left alone" and kind of laughed it off,so she does know that its not right.

Lucy1973

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

Sorry if I've mised this but where is the OP's husband in all this and what does he think? Is this the way things go on in his family and is he concerned for his nephew/niece's wellbeing?

He feels the same way but doesn't really want to get involved. I can understand why....he doesn't want to fall out with his family

top_drawer_2

hi,

I dont envy you at all in this situation, I was in a similar situation when I lived at home. I started babysitting my sister aged around 10/11 when she was born. Until I left home I was put upon and expected to keep house while they went out drinking most Thurs-Sunday (coming home in the evening to sleep etc, usually gone between 3-9pm). My Mum even farmed me out to my step-dads family to babysit for his chavvy relatives (chavvy as in never worked, pregnant at 16, 4+ children all born within a year or two of each other, various partners etc), from being 12 -15 I looked after 4 children, children were aged 6mths - 7 years old. From being 15 I looked after another of his relatives children who I can only describe as the children from hell. It brought me to tears of desperation and I finally called it a day. My Mum when berserk at me because I "let X down as they couldnt depend on me as a babysitter anymore."

I would report it to social services but I seriously doubt that they would do anything about it. But they might.

To the poster who said that they wont call Social Services as they fear they will take the children away - Do you really think thats a bad thing? If a parent is willing to leave a child alone for a prolonged period of time while they go out enjoying themselves then I would imagine thats the least of the treatment they receive. From experience I can tell you being left alone was a blessed relief in my life,you really believe as a child that adults around you know best, and know what you know....I wish someone had looked closer at my home life and I may wouldnt have developed the "issues" I have today.

Jen

Gingham_Ribbon

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Is anyone on here absolutely certain of the minimum age where a child can be left to supervise other, younger children? I'm not but I thought it was 14

There isn't a minimum age as such. It depends on the situation and the child, but certainly a 14 year old left to look after younger siblings all weekend will not be considered acceptable by anyone who deals with child protection.