Sister in law neglecting children every weekend

purplepardalis

I can't believe there are so many people in this family that do not care about these children. Whether it was my responsibility or not, I could not go to sleep knowing my 7 year old nephew/niece was not being looked after by an adult - let alone the 12 and 14 year old. I certainly would not get to the stage where I was asking people online for advice.
I don't normally judge or flame on this site by this is making my blood boil. Poor kids - they deserve not only a better mother but a better grandfather, uncle and aunt.

Savvy_Sue

Valli wrote: »

If a child in my class disclosed this to me (that he/she had been left in care of older sibling overnight) I would be following the procedure we have, and I believe all schools have, for dealing with at risk children. So this information would be recorded and passed to the relevant member of staff.

That was my hope. I was also subtly wondering whether the OP could plant seeds in the minds of the children which might lead to them disclosing at school.

jazzyjustlaw wrote: »

Where did you hear that? I believe it is 14. There is no min age for a child to be left on their own up until the age of 18 a parent - not just mum but dad too - can be held responsible for negligence should the children be found to have been left on their own.

There is no LAW about the age at which a child can start babysitting. There is guidance, but there is no LAW. If a child is found to be at risk, or injured, having been left with an inappropriate carer, then action can be taken. But simply using a very young babysitter isn't illegal.

Caroline73_2

I have to say that if it was me I would invite the children for one weekend once SIL had left. Then when SIL came back I would tell her it was not acceptable and if it happened again I would go to SS.

The SIL would have had the warning and it would be her look out if she chose not to act. I wouldn't be !!!!!footing around with childrens welfare.

stormbreaker

MrsE wrote: »

And if it was out of hours, so what?

My post was in reply to your one saying that the SS concern would not be to aportion blame, however other authorities, the police, have a duty to investigate and report and it would be them who attended in the first place.

MrsE wrote: »

Does she have to do it at the weekend?

No she does not have to do it at a weekend but as 'easily distracted' (a social worker)has pointed the best time to do this is as and when it is happening and report to the police.

LittleTinker

alwaysonthego wrote: »

Maybe you missed the part where the op said sometimes the FIL goes out for the weekend and is not back until sunday lunch/evening.Don't you think that it is a child protection issue?

The OP only added on the bit about Grandad being out overnight after everyone on here assumed that they were alone overnight.

At first the OP made it seem as though the kids were on their own for an hour or so now and then and it escalated into Grandad now stays out overnight.

Seems like one of those posts to me......posted to cause a reaction of the biggest order.

In reality, doesnt anyone think that most people would either go get the kids and bring them to their own home or call social services asap and wait there with the kids.....and NOT come and casually ask whether or not its right on MSE???

purplepardalis

LittleTinker wrote: »

In reality, doesnt anyone think that most people would either go get the kids and bring them to their own home or call social services asap and wait there with the kids.....and NOT come and casually ask whether or not its right on MSE???

Precisely. You just wouldn't leave them would you?
I wouldn't leave my neighbours kids and I don't know them, let alone family!

melancholly

i have to say, the suggestion of the kids letting slip about this at school and letting them take it up sounds like a really good option. authorities would look into it and it wouldn't look like vindictive behaviour from the OP. less chance of a massive family fall out and a net result!

i do maintain that the FIL needs to deal with the situation though - it's his house and if he doesn't raise it with his daughter, then something there is seriously wrong.

BitterAndTwisted

LittleTinker wrote: »

In reality, doesn't anyone think that most people would either go get the kids and bring them to their own home or call social services asap and wait there with the kids.....and NOT come and casually ask whether or not its right on MSE???

It all seems so simple when you're just typing it and don't necessarily have to put your suggestions into action in real life, doesn't it?

I suspect the OP has considered going down the route you described but might be reluctant to do it because she knows that she and her OH will be expected to do it every single weekend until Doomsday and WWIII would break out the moment they declined.

Lucy1973

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

It all seems so simple when you're just typing it and don't necessarily have to put your suggestions into action in real life, doesn't it?

I suspect the OP has considered going down the route you described but might be reluctant to do it because she knows that she and her OH will be expected to do it every single weekend until Doomsday and WWIII would break out the moment they declined.

Exactly. Thank you and thanks to those who gave advice. To those who have slated me.....how's life in your ivory tower??
I shall certainly think twice in future about asking for any other advice on here:mad:

NAR

Unfortunately Lucy too many judgemental people on MSE, who would rather make assumptions than deal with facts as posted.