Sister in law neglecting children every weekend

LittleTinker

alwaysonthego wrote: »

I would report this to the local social services department and let them decide whether the children are at risk. I am sure that they would be okay for a couple of hours under the 14 year old's supervision but for 2 whole days and nights would make me feel uneasy. A 14 year old under the eyes of the law is still a child and does not have the maturity to be caring for his younger siblings for a long period.

Did you not read the bit where the OP stated that the children are being looked after by their Grandfather?

OP......do not contact social services. It might not be a situation that you want or like for the children but it isnt your choice and they are left with an adult.

There are 1000's of kids living at home with Mum and Dad who are fed on junk food every day of their lives......there is nothing you can do about that except perhaps try to educate your SIL.

Who she goes to see when her father is watching the children is up to her though.

andrealm

LittleTinker wrote: »

Did you not read the bit where the OP stated that the children are being looked after by their Grandfather?

OP......do not contact social services. It might not be a situation that you want or like for the children but it isnt your choice and they are left with an adult.

There are 1000's of kids living at home with Mum and Dad who are fed on junk food every day of their lives......there is nothing you can do about that except perhaps try to educate your SIL.

Who she goes to see when her father is watching the children is up to her though.

I thought the point was that sometimes her father isn't watching them and they're being left alone in the house for the whole weekend?

patchwork_cat

If FIL knows that she will be away every w/e and he makes arrangements to stay away overnight then effectively he is neglecting the kids too. They are your in laws and as such I would tread very warily. I assume they are your partners sister and father? If so then it is upto him to deal with it.

alwaysonthego_2

LittleTinker wrote: »

Did you not read the bit where the OP stated that the children are being looked after by their Grandfather?

OP......do not contact social services. It might not be a situation that you want or like for the children but it isnt your choice and they are left with an adult.

There are 1000's of kids living at home with Mum and Dad who are fed on junk food every day of their lives......there is nothing you can do about that except perhaps try to educate your SIL.

Who she goes to see when her father is watching the children is up to her though.

Maybe you missed the part where the op said sometimes the FIL goes out for the weekend and is not back until sunday lunch/evening.Don't you think that it is a child protection issue?

andrealm

patchwork_cat wrote: »

If FIL knows that she will be away every w/e and he makes arrangements to stay away overnight then effectively he is neglecting the kids too. They are your in laws and as such I would tread very warily. I assume they are your partners sister and father? If so then it is upto him to deal with it.

But maybe he doesn't know that she goes out leaving them in the house on the weekends he's away. If he goes away before she goes out, then he mightn't know what she's doing.

alwaysonthego_2

Lucy1973 wrote: »

he does go out most weekends,the odd weekend he's home and has to watch the kids(they are pretty demanding too,esp the middle and youngest ones).

Lucy1973 wrote: »

No he sometimes is out over night either at some do or staying with brothers. He may pop back but not until around sunday lunchtime/afternoon sometimes.

Lucy1973 wrote: »

The past few months she has taken to leaving her children home while she stays with her boyfriend(friday afternoon to sun evening,her 2 oldest dont like the boyfriend).

she lumbers him some weekends,if he's busy,she'll leave them alone. Do you think this is right? The 2 oldest are already overweight and it doesn't help that they have to fend for themselves every weekend,on junk food..

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inkie

I have a 14 yr old and an 11 yr old, and it wouldn't even enter my head to leave them all day, let alone overnight. The adults are acting totally irresponsibly and need to stop putting themselves first and start and take their parenting/supervision seriously. Yes, there are places that we would like to go, but if kids are not provided for adequately, then those plans have to go out of the window.

stormbreaker

Be VERY careful about reporting them. It could see your FIL being charged with the neglect if there is any, as the mother could claim she left them in his care and custody. It would then be his word against hers. However if they made enquiry with the neighbours who spoke about her leaving the premises and the FIL being seen there abouts thereafter, it would be he who would be in s***.
If you are concerned could you not offer up a few hours or have them round at yours? You will not change the behaviour of the mother.

dizzybuff

The older ones in my opinion may be able to fend for themselves , depending on the children that is . The younger child there is a child neglect issue here . There could be for the older children as well. However if reported the police will look at the capability of the older children to look after the younger one. A seven year old is not capable of feeding themselves , she needs to be reported both to the police and social services. The FIL how old is he ??? if it is making him tired etc why should he look after the kids.

alwaysonthego_2

stormbreaker wrote: »

Be VERY careful about reporting them. It could see your FIL being charged with the neglect if there is any, as the mother could claim she left them in his care and custody. It would then be his word against hers. However if they made enquiry with the neighbours who spoke about her leaving the premises and the FIL being seen there abouts thereafter, it would be he who would be in s***.
If you are concerned could you not offer up a few hours or have them round at yours? You will not change the behaviour of the mother.

Is it right to put the children at risk and not report it just incase the FIL gets into trouble. It is the sister who has paretal responsibility for the children, however the FIL is just as guilty for allowing it to happen in his house. The children can not defend themselves and are the innocent ones and therefore need protecting from this situation.