Sister in law neglecting children every weekend

lynnexxxo

The OP said that the sister in law and kids live with her FIL, so I'm assuming she leaves the FIL in charge of the 3 kids. Not saying thats ok (does seem a lot for the FIL).

BitterAndTwisted

It's Sod's Law that should the OP share this info with Social Services the very weekend they show up to investigate is the one when FIL is there supervising them.

Is anyone on here absolutely certain of the minimum age where a child can be left to supervise other, younger children? I'm not but I thought it was 14

babymoo

I believe the minimum age is 14 bitter and twisted but even at that I wouldn't leave a 14 year old in charge of 2 other children for a whole weekend. I used to babysit at the age of 14 for a friend of the familys baby, however I was always left with several phone numbers should I need any of them and my parents were 4 doors down. I think there is a significan difference in babysitting for a few hours and taking care for the whole weekend.

VK-2008

my sis in law is in very similar situation
some people are selfish
countless times have i literally been left holding the baby with her saying i am only nipping to shop for 5 mins and does not return until the next night
very frustrating
been confronted many a times but will not change her ways
considered phoning social services bt i am scared kids will get taken away as 1 and 3. as the children are not at risk i have not done it

Lucy1973

Lara44 wrote: »

But don't the children live with your FIL? Is he around or are they being left alone?

It is clearly not wonderful parenting either way, but imho serious if the kids are being left alone all weekend by themselves on a regular basis. I would probably report this or try to have word with her. If FIL is in then it is a different story and you should probably step back. Hope you resolve it

Yes they live with my FIL at his house. He was widowed 2 years ago and as I want him to,he needs a life. He's done bringing up his children and should be enjoying himself now,and he does go out most weekends,the odd weekend he's home and has to watch the kids(they are pretty demanding too,esp the middle and youngest ones). I dont think its fair my FIL should have to change plans to babysit.
I have talked to my SIL about why the boyfriend doesn't spend the weekend with her at their house,and he wont have it that way. I think he's quite controlling and wants her to himself and her children out of the way. I'm worried that because I have voiced my concerns about this,my SIL may work out it was me that reported her

sassyblue

Hi lucy, tbh l'd report her anonymously - tell yourself you're saving the kids from potential disaster which you are. That poor 7 year old might grow up with behaviour problems being abandoned by his mother at such a young age, doesn't matter that he has older siblings (shouldn't be their jobs to bring their siblings up anyway) they'll want to be out with their mates in a few years, the little one still wouldn't be a teenager, v.sad.

Makes me sad to think some people can have kids and treat them badly when some would give their right arms to be parents.....

VK-2008

there is no legal age when a child is allowed to babysit another

its at parents discretion

if somthing should happen its the parents responsibilty by law

liney

So they live with the FiL who comes and goes throughout the weekend. I imagine he sleeps at home, so the children are not alone overnight?

Are you saying the children are completely alone from Friday to Sunday, or are you actually saying that sometimes the FiL, who has been left with the children, goes out in the day and leaves the younger children with the 14 year old for a while. Massive difference.

Lucy1973

liney wrote: »

So they live with the FiL who comes and goes throughout the weekend. I imagine he sleeps at home, so the children are not alone overnight?

Are you saying the children are completely alone from Friday to Sunday, or are you actually saying that sometimes the FiL, who has been left with the children, goes out in the day and leaves the younger children with the 14 year old for a while. Massive difference.

No he sometimes is out over night either at some do or staying with brothers. He may pop back but not until around sunday lunchtime/afternoon sometimes.

shellsuit

She's got to be reported, that's awful leaving kids of that age for a weekend to fend for themselves!!

My kids are 14, 12 and 16 months, and although I have left the older 2 in the house during the day, I wouldn't leave them alone at night for even an hour, never mind for a whole weekend.

She sounds like a selfish pig and needs to get her priorities right!