Partner is losing battle with cancer and I don't know what to do next

clare64

Iam so sorry
I am a Breast Cancer patient and was given a Breast care nurse at the hospital. They are fantastic at giving information. I wondered if they have the same scheme for other types of cancer, it may be worth asking you partners consultant/ oncologist or GP.
As others have said macmillan are fab.
If there is no other treatment they can offer, I would seriously consider the clinical trial. You can stop it if your partner wants to.
Please look into respite care for yourself and family, some have a charity fund that offers cancer patients therapies like reflexology free of charge, even though they are not curative it is all about making you feel special and pampered ata very differcult time.
I really hope you get some help. xx

Stephb1986_2

I don't have any advice but wanted to say my thoughts are with you and your family at this time don't give up just yet take things one day at a time.

Steph xx

julie_w_3

My heart goes out to you all, the first thing i would suggest is to get proper pain management, and push for her to be referred to someone who can help with that. Then you can look at the options. In this day and age she should be able to control the pain. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Hotspur

Hi Cool Username,

Almost a year ago I lost my sister to cancer after a long fight and used Macmillan and the support they gave was invaluable. I felt totally useless but found lots of help and gained strength through the MacMillan forums. People there have gone/are going through the same trials and tribulations and are fantastic.

Good luck and stay strong.

clairehi

So sorry to hear about your situation. Your OH does NOT need to suffer in pain, we went through this with my dad too.

It may take a lot of perseverance to find the right health care professional who will ensure your OH gets the right pain relief but this really is the priority to ensure that her quality of life is the best it can be. If the first person you try doesnt help please dont give up, in my experience you may need to go down several avenues before you get the help you need.

You have had some excellent advice above about contacting Macmillan, the GP etc. In our (my Dad's) case it was the palliative care nurses who were really helpful, thy were amazingly professional and really knew their stuff. Much more helpful and knowledgeable than the other nursing staff or doctors, about how to manage pain in terminal illness. However I am not sure if they deal with people who are not an in-patient in a hospital or hospice.

ellay864

I'm so sorry to hear how you and your wife are suffering through this. Cancer is such a terrible disease. I have to agree with everybody who has talked about Macmillan etc. But as someonebody who works in the pharmaceutical industry, and in the oncology area, I would say that if you are being offered opportunities to get onto clinical trials then I would seriously consider it. Of course nothing is guaranteed but new drugs can only stand any chance of being made available to patients if people are willing to give them a try, and for many people these drugs are a last resort that really do give some hope. If your wife gets into a trial and does do well on the drug she will be able to continue taking it under that trial even if the drug doesn't get licenced to be marketed. I've had personal involvement with a drug for brain tumours that hasnt shown good enough results statistically to be considered for approval, but many patients on it have done well and their doctors are desperate to be able to keep treating them. Sadly that benefit can only now be realised by patients already in the trials and we can't give it to others but we keep trying. While a cure is unlikely, if your wife can get on a trial successfully she may be able to alleviate her symptoms and enjoy some extra precious months or years of life
I really wish you both all the very best xx

mountainofdebt

Hi

Not so much to do with pain relief and I don't know if the staff at Velindre have already suggested it, but have you thought about contacting Tenovus (the welsh cancer charity?)

I know they offer counselling services for both the patient (if your OH wants it) as well as their families - and I also think they can offer support to children / young adults.

They do have a free support line (0808 808 1010) but unfortuantely its only open during office hours.

hugs to you all....

X

meritaten

hi coolusername
as you say your wife is being treated at the Velindre I assume you live in South Wales? not that it matters for the organisation I am going to tell you about.
Its called Cancercareline and its based in Blackwood in the Rhymney valley. they have a 24 hour helpline staffed by volunteers most of which have had cancer or had relatives with cancer. If you call during the hours of 9.00am to 2.00 pm you will most likely speak to the office staff. they have many services to help cancer sufferers AND thier families! including counselling, group therapies and other therapies (they have a website but i dont have the addy right now). It doesnt matter what time you phone - there is ALWAYS someone there to listen and all calls will be referred back to the office and if any further help is required (such as info on other charities which may be of help) then they will phone you.
Also Macmillan are great, so is St Davids Foundation and Marie Curie (I have had experience myself of the last two in the Hospice at home and to my mind they are second to none in their care.
My very best wishes and loving thoughts to you and your family - dont give up hope hun, miracles can and DO happen! but at the same time - please make the most of this time and do help her plan for what MAY happen.

the Cancercareline number is 01495 221660

they will take calls from anywhere - not just UK!

meritaten

oops meant to say that I can supply phone numbers for almost any cancer charity in the Uk (and some overseas) as I have my handbook from when I worked for a cancer charity a few years back. anyone who wants a number for a charity, or wants to know if there is a local group in their area, please feel free to PM me (rather than post which will just obscure the thread)

cobbingstones

Hi Dan,

Sending huge ((( ))) Have you thought of SEESAW in order to help your daughter with her mum's condition? They are a fantastic charity who specialise in helping children whose parent are very ill. Also Winston' Wish.

Wishing you hope and strenght in a very hard and difficult time.