Partner is losing battle with cancer and I don't know what to do next

Cool_Username

Forgive me if I'm not making much sense but I just don't know what to do.

My partner has a history of cancer over the last four years, she had a hysterectomy at the beginning and some radiotherapy and chemo just to be sure and it went away.

Last November we found out it had come back and they couldn't operate to remove it so she started back on the chemo (carboplatin and taxol) which worked for the first four treatments but stopped working after that.

So they tried a different chemo (gemcitabine) but that hasn't made much difference. They've told us that this is basically all the can offer and we've gone through the available treatments.

The last clinic we went to on Tuesday after a break of a month has left me feeling so helpless. The doctor has mentioned the possibility of clinical trials in London but I just don't know what to do.

She is in huge amounts of pain constantly and I'm just at a complete loss. She is now on morphine and all kinds of other things but the pain is making her shake all the time in agony. We have a little girl who is nearly 14 and she's upset as you can imagine.

Our life is falling to pieces and I can't do anything about it.

If anyone can give me any advice I would appreciate it or point me in the direction of where I can look into trials that could help her.

Thanks everyone.

Dan.

mickbhall

Cool_Username wrote: »

Forgive me if I'm not making much sense but I just don't know what to do.

My partner has a history of cancer over the last four years, she had a hysterectomy at the beginning and some radiotherapy and chemo just to be sure and it went away.

Last November we found out it had come back so she started back on the chemo (carboplatin and taxol) which worked for the first four treatments but stopped working after that.

So they tried a different chemo (gemcitabine) but that hasn't made much difference. They've told us that this is basically all the can offer and we've gone through the available treatments.

The last clinic we went to on Tuesday after a break of a month has left me feeling so helpless. The doctor has mentioned the possibility of clinical trials in London but I just don't know what to do.

She is in huge amounts of pain constantly and I'm just at a complete loss. We have a little girl who is nearly 14 and she's upset as you can imagine.

Our life is falling to pieces and I can't do anything about it.

If anyone can give me any advice I would appreciate it or point me in the direction of where I can look into trials that could help her.

Thanks everyone.

Dan.

Sorry to hear this hope all works out. Have you spoke to macmillian or cancer research yhey might be able to offer more.

Cool_Username

I haven't spoken to them no.

I'll have to try and do it tomorrow.

She's upstairs trying to sleep now I've never felt so fu*king useless in all my life she's so brave but there's nothing I can do to help her. I want some miracle cure to help her they've mentioned that she may only have a few years left.

I'm devastated and I can't come to terms with the fact that she may not be here much longer.

motherofstudents

I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. As above, there are organisations you can contact for support, try to get all the help you can from them. I know it's a cliche but you need to get through one day at a time. It sounds like you are trying to solve this for her by looking for new treatments etc which is fine but you can't take everything onto your shoulders. Try to get the pain controlled and then talk to each other, do ordinary things, laugh at something and involve your daughter. You can't predict the future but you can live for today. My son is a research scientist and he is constantly telling me about such new exciting research that one day will cure this awful disease. I hope it comes soon. Wish I could be more help but I am sending thoughts/prayers/good wishes to you all.

Cool_Username

Thank you.

All the treatments they offer at Velindre hospital in Cardiff appear to have been used up now, the doctor said they use the best stuff straight away and that hasn't worked and they don't save the best till last or anything like that.

She has mentioned referring her to London for clinical trials so I'm pinning all my hopes on that really assuming that's what she wants to do.

Molly41

So sorry x

Oldernotwiser

I am so sorry to hear this. Have you tried looking for help and advice on any of the cancer forums?

http://www.google.co.uk/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=&q=forum+cancer&aq=f&aqi=g3g-m4&aql=&oq=&gs_rfai=

mjm3346

I am so sorry to hear of your situation.

Spend all the time you can with your wife.


I would suggest the macmillian forum rather than a general one like MSE.

http://community.macmillan.org.uk/whatsnew/default.aspx

The Royal Marsden in London runs clinical trials and there is a range of other information on their website.

http://www.royalmarsden.nhs.uk/RMH/patients/?wbc_purpose=Basic

ERICS_MUM

I used to do some voluntary work in our local hospice and they regularly "took in" people for a few days just to get them set up with effective pain relief, then they went home. Apparently there are many different types of painkiller and many combinations of them, it's a matter of finding the right one for each patient which can take a few days to achieve.

Could you ask your GP to refer your dear wife to a hospice for this purpose ?

I'm so sorry that your wife, your whole family, are affected by this terrible disease.

Take care and keep your strength up.

DX2

Cool_Username wrote: »

I haven't spoken to them no.

I'll have to try and do it tomorrow.

She's upstairs trying to sleep now I've never felt so fu*king useless in all my life she's so brave but there's nothing I can do to help her. I want some miracle cure to help her they've mentioned that she may only have a few years left.

I'm devastated and I can't come to terms with the fact that she may not be here much longer.

How awful
My heart goes out to you and your family.

Bitsy_Beans

Cool_Username wrote: »

I haven't spoken to them no.

I'll have to try and do it tomorrow.

She's upstairs trying to sleep now I've never felt so fu*king useless in all my life she's so brave but there's nothing I can do to help her. I want some miracle cure to help her they've mentioned that she may only have a few years left.

I'm devastated and I can't come to terms with the fact that she may not be here much longer.

I don't have any advice only totally inadequate words to say I am sorry for you and your family. I hope you can get the support you need to help you through this difficult time.