I am not sure where to put this so bear with me,insulted at Asda

Contains_Mild_Peril

firespire wrote:

I was in a charity shop and there was a volunteer working there obviously had learning difficulties was trying to be chatty with customers about weather and how he didn't bring a coat etc. He too had effeminate voice mannerisms and people he spoke to just answered one word answers and carried on looking at the goods. I could see how if he said the wrong things people could be put out.

If the manager said "he is a little slow so to speak" I would take the cashier had some learning difficulties. If you were obviously pregnant and he asked "are you pregnant" seems a sign.

He had obviously told to be friendly with the customers and unfortunately didn't ask something sensible like "is it your first child?", to some people questions like "have you been trying for long?" are normal conversation but "many times did it take you to conceive" is definitely wrong.

The usual sort of conversational question when you don't know the expectant mother would be something like "When's the baby due?"
"Is it your first?" is also an acceptable and inoffensive question, but "have you been trying for long?" would be an inappropriate question to ask a stranger. Many would regard it as a very personal question, and if it were asked of someone who hadn't actually been trying at all, it could cause embarrassment and perhaps offence.
I can't imagine a shop assistant asking a random pregnant customer "How many times did it take you to conceive?" if he had any idea how unacceptable such a query appears to most. I don't know what this bloke's special needs might be, though I do remember a documentary featuring a man who suffered a head injury and lost any sense of what was and wasn't appropriate with regard to sexual behaviour and conversation, and since he was otherwise quite normal he could often appear pervy without realising he'd done anything wrong.
As for the chicken, I think Asda offer a 200% money back guarantee if you're dissatisfied with any of their own brand products, but the matter should have been dealt with immediately. If a customer alerts a store that one of their chickens was off when purchased, there is a potential risk of food poisoning and the other chickens on the shelf should be checked.

lisyloo

would you like a big sign saying lisy has IBS let her get to the loo or it could get messy

Honest answer:
I would like people to know about it because they NEED to know about it and can help me if they did know.
However I would prefer a quiet word to only the relevant people and not a big sign (I don't think I introduced the idea of big signs).

dont make them wear another just so people can shave about 30 seconds of their shopping time.

It's not for that reason.
It's so that if someone behaves differently you don't behave in a hostile/defensive/shocked manner.
I am not saying that all special needs people behave inappropriately but there are ways that some things can be offensive if you don't realise they have a problem.
A classic example would be someone with turretts syndrome swearing at you.
If you didn't know they had a problem (or didn't recognise it) then you would consider the person very rude.

I know that if someone touched me in a way I didn't like (or sensitive areas like my purse or bag) or in extreme cases looked at me in a certain way, then my reaction (quite a natural one) would automatically be hostile.
This is entirely natural.
We have an innate sense of not liking people staring at us.
(This is because when we were running around in the jungle something staring at us would be wanting to eat us).
There is nothing nasty or anto-social in these kind of reactions.
They are entirely natural and sometimes automatic.

Remember also that not all of us have entiensive career long experience of working with special needs.

iwanttosave_2

I never said I have an extencive career in special needs, I know about them because I decided to read up about them a while ago and learn about it for myself, and the rest is common sense.

lisyloo

I never said I have an extencive career in special needs

No, I never said you did say it :-)

I know about them because I decided to read up about them a while ago and learn about it for myself, and the rest is common sense.

There seems to be 2 schools of thought appearing on this board.
One is that you can't automatically recognise someone's problem just by looking/talking and the other that's it's plain old common sense.

I don't think it's always common sense (although sometimes it undoubtedly is).
If I don't know someone is a lipreader then I might be looking the other way when I'm talking or bending down below the counter level to put a bag down etc.

My husband is very large.
Some people stare.
Very occassionally people will directly comment on eating habits without knowing anything at all about the situation.
Even medical staff will make assumptions about eating/drinking habits.
When we are out cycling together people laugh and point.

Rely on common sense if you like but I think you will get a variable reaction.

What I am saying is that I can do more to help if I know about a problem (the lipreader being an example).

mjenn5

I think this thread has got a bit out of control.

There was no proof as far as I see that this cashier was disabled.

As far as disabled people having jobs. OF course they should, and some of them are the nicest people you could meet, but there is no easy way to do that. You are never going to please everybody. As for badging them there must be some way to let shoppers know without offending anybody.

I would be horrified if I received bad service worthy of a complaint and then found out that this person has some disability which was at the route of the complaint. I would feel so bad for being anoyed with them.

I get your meaning of these people having enough labels, my son is dyslexic and there have been other members of my family with disabilities (which are unfortunately no longer with us) but I do think shoppers etc need to know in some way.

rackstar

I can't understand why everyone is going on about special needs as if only someone "strange" cold say something crude.

I know plenty of blokes (some of my old bosses for a start) who are always saying lewd, disgusting and completely inappropriate things because they think it makes them look smart, sexy, or in control of the weaklings around them (including all the women).

Not that it is just men, of course. I've seen female comedians who make a living out of doing the same thing.

Come on, we've all had to deal with it, and we know how it feels. Admit it. Ordinary people do it. It's a power trip. Lust. Comedy. Whatever.

Offensive sexual innuendo is part of life for some intelligent, rich, successful people. And we don't go around saying they must have learning difficulties. They're just horrible people. Or nice people who do horrible things sometimes.

They don't care that most peple want to work, shop or go out without their sexualitly, boobs, bum, or sex life being refered to as if it was the only identity we have. we do't live in a !!!!!! film - we have brains...

...rant over...

Horasio

bexxie90 wrote:

Hi all
Please move if in wrong place but I need some advice

On the 14th September I visited my local Asda store. I am quite obviouley pregnant and whilst trying to put shopping on the checkout conveyor i was struggling a lot as the trolley still had items in,it was all over conveyor and cashier going like a good 'un piling it up. I said to him would you mind either slowing down or helping me just for a minute or so,which he did. Now you have to imagine that i am having a job even reaching over to get bags and pack with my belly in the way,when he says to me "are you pregnant" so I reply yes as you can see me having job here packing~~HINT HINT

So he then turns round and says "OOH lovely,how many times did it take you to conceive"? And leerily eyes me up and down for rest of shopping packing....he was creepy with a really effeminate mannor (not against that by the way) just cringy horrid feeling i got off him. Now my hormones are okay so it isnt a reaction on my part as frind with me said "You know why I didnt want that till now" Thanks!!

The other problem i had was a disgusting off chicken,smelt disgusting and was dirty.................

So i get home and next day i e-mail and wait.nothing so on Saturday just gone 23rd I spoke to the store manager and all I got was "OH right well esy he is a little slow so to speak will have words with him" When I mentioned the chicken nothing was replied they couldnt wait to get off the phone........

What do I do here?
Am I over-reacting?
Please advise cos I feel i am going mad.......

B

No you are not over-reacting

The assistant was over familiar and I would have complained about being spoken to in that way. Even if he had 'learning difficulties', he should be told not to speak to people in that way.

You should have got your chicken replaced with apologies.

Horasio

mjenn5 wrote:

The Cashier was so out of order.

Surely Asda realise that their cashiers are there as a front person and as so they must be able to communicate adequately with the customers.

What he said and insinuated was very disrespectful to say the least and he is either very immature or just not used to dealing with the public properly.

Being pregnant myself a few times I did feel that people don't take you seriously quite a lot and it is infuriating at times when you feel like screaming that your brain still works.

You as their customer have every right to expect a certain level of service and quality so take this all the way.

I agree. It isn't her hormones. He was overfamiliar to her. He needs to be told not to say what he said to pregant women.

mandi_moles

All said and done tho....
If he had said that to me I would have laughed it off.
All males can be a bit cheeky at times and Ive often had cute or silly things said.
Just a price us sexier ladies have to pay
Dont dwell on it Bexxie, take it as a bit of a compliment.

mjenn5

There is some truth in what you say mandi moles but it may be that it is not so much what he said but also how he said it and how he made her feel.

I don't mind the cheeky comments and most of the time you can laugh it off but there are definately times when that cheeky comment is more than just that.

I agree though you can't dwell on these things too long.

The chicken though is another matter.