I am not sure where to put this so bear with me,insulted at Asda

bexxie90

Is this getting personal now?

Myfriend was on the till next to me and my husband was at home (he was angry when I told him)

I dont know exactly what your problem is? I can only assume you have to sling personal comments to make yourself feel better this is often the case.

I didnt say I wanted the man sacked I said I wanted some sort of discilplinary/discussion over what happened. I am not going to argue with you as I only cam on this site for some advice.
Whether I am attractive being pregnant is irrelevent,I may be gorgeous to 50% and a pig to the other 50% so that was a stupid comment for you to have made! Daft dont you think but then that is just your opinion and of course you are most defiantely entitled to that. As for my husband and our first meeting,that comment made me and him chuckle he found it ammusing and I wouldnt repeat what he said as I am not rude natured like some.

Anyhow I wish you well and bear no feelings of animosity as I think you have enough of that stored for me and I have never met you.

I have now resolved this issue,thanks Beckie

bexxie90

Oh and I do not consider myself a Mental Health Expert....I leave that to the experts.......

mjenn5

OH Bexxie90

I am so sorry that there are people on here attaking your posting.

I am so with you on this one.

It is obvious to me reading your posting that your husband was not with you and my husband would be furious also.

Why oh why do everybody put everyting down to hormones.

You have already said that you do not wish the person to be treated badly but he needs educated. There is no proof that he has any disability and if you were made to feel that way you should mention it.

As for the chicken, my family and I once suffered from food poisoning as a result of something purchased from a supermarket which was proven at the time and compensated for, and therefore I am always very careful about what I buy. You should most definately be taken seriously on that one, especially as you are pregnant as some germs can be very serious for the unborn child.

Come on people on here this person would not have posted this if it was not important.

bexxie90

Thanks mjenn my husband said to stop stressing out now and that I am a gorgeous person,lol I think he has something in his eyes,it is sorted now and hopefully the end of things getting personal. Thanks again
Beckie

mjenn5

Your welcome.

Thats lovely that your husband said that. You are gorgeous - you are carrying a precious child - some men find that a turn on some don't.

All the best with your newborn when he/she gets here. I am so broody now.

AT least you have a supportive husband which is a definite bonus. He'll probably want to acompany you on your shopping next time.

The_Old_Bag

Two views on this I feel
1)I have noticed that Asda do employ quite a few 'special needs' staff - with physical and mental problems. And I think it is fantastic that they do. They also seem to have regular shopping days for mini-bus loads of special needs adults and young people. Knowing first hand how some of their 'presenting' issues can be viewed by the 'normal' general public I find it heartbreaking that these peoples attempts to interact with others are often mis-interpreted and can result in a hostile/fearful reaction. The reaction itself can cause more distress and harm than the original ineptitude or inappropriateness of the special needs person.
2) If the male member of staff was being genuinely rude and leering it is something which Asda should deal with instantly.....what if he spoken/looked/acted inappropriately to a young girl/boy. Would they have had the common sense and knowledge that someone like yourself has.

Why I, and I presume other posters have questioned if he was 'normal' is that if you are as 'obviously' pregnant as you say (you could think you look HUGE when you are hardly showing to other ), how come it took him so long to notice, and even then was so obtuse as to actually have to ask you. 'Normal' people would not go around asking 'large round' women if they were pregnant unless they were ready with the usual spiel of "oh how wonderful, when is it due....etc. Just the fear of the answer being No, would put off 99% of people from asking in the first place. That goes for me and most women, let alone men.....even if we THOUGHT you looked pregnant, we wouldn't dare ask for fear we'd made a BIG bo-bo !!
I agree with the point Jummy made, this could quite easily be the type of comment someone with ASD would make ( Autistic Spectrum Disorder) and they really do not mean anything offensive at all. Many have to attend social skills classes to help them learn HOW to interact without saying or doing the wrong thing. Unfortunately they cannot simply know the social rules like 'normal' people do. They have to be taught it, just like being taught French

At the end of the day Bexxie90, YOU are the best judge for how he made YOU feel. As you say, you obviously have a wide experience of people with Mental Health problems, so you will know if what he said and how he looked at you was down to lewdness or just social ineptitude. Also Asda will know whether he is one of their special needs staff or not. Either way they should take action. Even if he was special needs, he needs to be taught that what he said and did was offensive and caused distress. He would be genuinely upset that he had done anything wrong, and would certainly not want to make the same mistake again. If he was just being lewd he needs to be disciplined.

To everyone else who might read this thread, please think twice before you categorise 'strange' people with 'strange' behaviour as being weirdos and perverts. There obviously are genuine 'pervs' out there, but most I gather are too clever to show their true colours in everyday life, such as paedophiles. They could be married, with families, holding down a respectable job - often working with children. People who are openly 'strange' in my opinion are the ones who are asking for, and need help and understanding.

bexxie90

Thanks The Old Bag Your post was right and I appreciate the points you made,
Thanks again
B

lisyloo

I have noticed that Asda do employ quite a few 'special needs' staff

I have mixed feelings about this.

One reaction is that I think this is great.

However on the other hand, when I am paying for a service I don't expect to have to make "allowances" especially when I haven't been warned about it.

In my local Boots there is a deaf lady that serves on the till. She has a badge which says she is a "lipreader".
When I see this I make a special effort to speak clearly and make sure that I'm looking in her direction i.e. she can see my face.
So clearly there are things people can do to help IF they are warned unfront.

I would prefer to know that the person on the til has special needs so that I can either make an effort to be understanding OR if I'm on the way to a funeral (bad mood) or in a real rush then I can go to another til so that I don't have to "make allowances" on that occassion.

I do think that Asda are taking a liberty in expecting people to accept a lower standard of service without giving them any warning whatsoever.
I think to be fearful/hostile is an entire natural reaction to strange behaviour if it is unexpected. Many people do not have wide experience with this behaviour and may interpret it wrongly.

Also I may be totally barking up the wrong tree here, but are Asda taking advantage? i.e. paying these people less.
My sister (who is mentally ill) works for the council.
She is supported by a grant from a charity which is meant to pay for her replacement when she has time of sick with her disability.
The council take the money and don't pay for a replacement.
Hence they are taking on a disabled person purely for their own profit.
I could be totally wrong but it does raise the question of whether this is being done for profit rather than altruistic reasons.

hammy_the_hammer

lisyloo wrote:

I have mixed feelings about this.

One reaction is that I think this is great.

However on the other hand, when I am paying for a service I don't expect to have to make "allowances" especially when I haven't been warned about it.

In my local Boots there is a deaf lady that serves on the till. She has a badge which says she is a "lipreader".
When I see this I make a special effort to speak clearly and make sure that I'm looking in her direction i.e. she can see my face.
So clearly there are things people can do to help IF they are warned unfront.

I would prefer to know that the person on the til has special needs so that I can either make an effort to be understanding OR if I'm on the way to a funeral (bad mood) or in a real rush then I can go to another til so that I don't have to "make allowances" on that occassion.

I do think that Asda are taking a liberty in expecting people to accept a lower standard of service without giving them any warning whatsoever.
I think to be fearful/hostile is an entire natural reaction to strange behaviour if it is unexpected. Many people do not have wide experience with this behaviour and may interpret it wrongly.

Also I may be totally barking up the wrong tree here, but are Asda taking advantage? i.e. paying these people less.
My sister (who is mentally ill) works for the council.
She is supported by a grant from a charity which is meant to pay for her replacement when she has time of sick with her disability.
The council take the money and don't pay for a replacement.
Hence they are taking on a disabled person purely for their own profit.
I could be totally wrong but it does raise the question of whether this is being done for profit rather than altruistic reasons.

you are totally barking up the wrong tree . look up inclusion ..look up the DDA

littleredcorvette

lisyloo wrote:

I have mixed feelings about this.

One reaction is that I think this is great.

However on the other hand, when I am paying for a service I don't expect to have to make "allowances" especially when I haven't been warned about it.

In my local Boots there is a deaf lady that serves on the till. She has a badge which says she is a "lipreader".
When I see this I make a special effort to speak clearly and make sure that I'm looking in her direction i.e. she can see my face.
So clearly there are things people can do to help IF they are warned unfront.

I would prefer to know that the person on the til has special needs so that I can either make an effort to be understanding OR if I'm on the way to a funeral (bad mood) or in a real rush then I can go to another til so that I don't have to "make allowances" on that occassion.

Sorry for hijacking your post Bexxie, but...............................

My 4 year old son has Special Needs and I would be horrified that when he eventually goes out into the world of work that you would expect him to wear a badge so that others can be "warned" about him!!!!! Why not just hang a big sign around his neck :mad:

And there I was, thinking we were living in the 21st century