OH has confiscated my cards

RoxieW

Hi, yes the extra is going towards the debts. Everything that either of us earns and benefits etc go inti the same account. The joint account that I no longer have cards for.
Yes I admitted the spending needed reining in and the cash allowance thing seems to be working. But he seems to be getting carried away with it and going too far now. It seems like more of a punishment for me. If he wants takeaway/taxi etc it's fine. If I want - tough.

LilacPixie

Roxie - speak to him, allowance only works if you both have the same rules.

Ex-Spendaholic

I agree with Lilacpixie. If your OH can spend frivilously on takeaways and taxis then so should you. You both should have a set amount to "squander" as you see fit.

Money_maker

My first port of call would be to open up a new bank account in my name first thing tomorrow. Then take the £200 week, read the OS board and stretch the money. If you can underspend each week then you may acquire enough some savings but don't let him know. You could also put your child allowance and wages in there - this way you can use your wages for that curry.

I would suggest a spending diary over the next few weeks to find out where its really going.

Loz01

Um, wow. FIrst of all. I'm amazed you've put up and carried on with this Roxie :eek:

Your OH sounds like a right charmer - why is he demeaning you and giving you an "allowance" ?? You're not a child! You're not a teenager who needs to be kept in line. :eek:

From an outsiders POV this sounds like madness - I'd sit down and tell him in no uncertain terms that you're equal in the rship and wont be spoken to like an idiot.

Pixiechic

Hi,

I was wondering, how much of the debt would you say is down to your personal shopping? For example the lot of money you spent on the wedding that you went to. How much of the 3k debt would you say was down to you?

VK-2008

i dont agree with domestic violence but if my husband done that to me i would slap him one!!!!

RANT BIT OVER

more seriously though
spending money is a joint thing
i deal with the money and make sure all bills etc are paid, there are months we go over but thats one of those things
the allowance things is a bit petty, if its only you that has one
i would sit down with him and chat
work out what the monthly bills are
see what is affordable to pay off debt
and then see what disposably income is left
decide how much to go in savings
and then if needed split the disposable and let each other spend it anyway they want

at end of day marriage is a partnership which needs to be worked at together
because you look after kids does not deem you any less important in relationship
get him to swap places and he would find out how hard it really is

and as for keeping up with the JONES as they say dont! just dont
i know easier said then done
but in my opinion that is how the credit crunch happened, people wanted too much and done anything they could to get what they want
we need to be practical in life


hope you sort things out
xx

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I'd transfer my wages into my own separate account and then ask him whether he thinks he could afford solicitor's fees and maintenance. And then see it through he appeared convinced he would manage.

Savvy_Sue

I agree you need to open a personal bank account, but you might need to make sure it's an online one so bank statements don't appear.

Nottoobadyet

Heres my two cents.

There are several people on the DFW board that are completely incapable of handling cash and have handed it over to a relative or close friend to steward for them. They are either given an allowance per month or the relative just sits on their savings pot for them. They work nothing like this.

There are couples that keep their money separate, but they are usually families where both partners work (and one has debt or a bad credit history etc). Your OH wants to have his cake and eat it to and refuse you your slice, sounds like changes will need to be in order.