OH has confiscated my cards

JoJoB

How are you this morning Roxie, hope you've both managed to talk properly.

I was thinking though, it's a bit weird you say he doesn't go on this site - yet just happened to come across it yesterday when you posted this. Do you think he is actually keeping tabs on your internet activity without you knowing?

Sunnyday

JoJoB wrote: »

How are you this morning Roxie, hope you've both managed to talk properly.

I was thinking though, it's a bit weird you say he doesn't go on this site - yet just happened to come across it yesterday when you posted this. Do you think he is actually keeping tabs on your internet activity without you knowing?

I think that he must be and by the sound of things i`m not surprised.

Thats why i posted about cc cleaner yesterday, free quick and will put a stop to that side of things.

Hope things are better today RoxieW.

SD

nzmegs

I expect he is definitely watching your internet access. Perhaps to make sure you are not spending money online....but perhaps simply because he doesn't trust you. Not feeling trusted is about the worst thing for a relationship. you end up feeling as though you can't win and that nothing you do will ever be good enough. I understand why you have taken a back step on the comments about your husband. yes it is wrong to bad mouth someone you love but as you say, you had nowhere else to turn. (you can't meet up with your friends after all!)
Could it be that you husband is concerned about how he is going to be perceived, if you do talk to your friends about what he is like. Making you stay at home is one way he can prevent you from complaining and maybe getting some good advice. he wants to be seen as the perfect husband and he can't stand it if you show anyone that he is not.
I hope that you have managed to have a chat with him. personally i suspect that the reason you are not online today is because you have been forbidden from using the internet...I hope I am wrong.

sassyblue

Roxie, everytime l come back to read an update l'm more shocked. Your OH is a control freak. It is NOT right that he has taken away your cards, forbids (forbids!!:rotfl:) you to go out with friends, reads your messages from friends, reads your internet activity and wants to know your passwords - l could go on.....

I suggest you take a long hard look at your life, l know if you look back you'll see that this man has always been like this, his 'concern' in the beginning of your relationship over who you're going out with and where you are at all times has NOTHING to do with your safety but everything to do with control.

Little by little he is controlling every aspect of your life by bullying and demeaning you.

As others have suggested you should take legal advice over where you stand should you split, but it is quite clear you are entitled to at least HALF of everything, and the house as you will be having the children. Anything he may say is simply scaremongering you into staying put under his control - he is lying to you.

Nothing will ever be his fault either....

I'm sorry to say l really don't think he'll change, he will promise you the earth if the 'chips' are down but he will slip back to his old ways. As l said earlier in this thread my sister was in a relationship like this, as my sister got stronger his threats turned to violence. She came to us crying many times and we promised to help her, he knew this so blamed us for 'poisoning her mind against him' (should that be possible he did that all by himself :rotfl:) and tried to distance her from us. Does this sound familar to you??

You need to take advice and decide what you want, changing your passwords is a must too! If OH won't change then you know what you need to do. A relationship involves two people it does NOT have a master and slave!

I really do wish you the best of luck and masses of cyber (((HUGS))) x

Roxies husband if you were my OH you'd be missing your vital bits by now, l'm guessing all you can bully is women and children

slightlyconfused1

Roxie

Please take note of the advice on here.

I cannot imagine how you must feel. I cannot imagine how bad things must be normally that your husband feels that he is acting in an acceptable manner.

I would also add that your husband is providing a role model for your children and so are you. Is this the life you want your children to aim for?

I think you know that you have to take action either within your marriage or to end it. Please do not accept this situation. As so many have said above it sounds like he is trying to completely control you and thing may get a whole lot worse.

I wish you the best of luck.

ema_o

Roxie, I have read this thread and am horrified. Before you posted that your OH had read it and was not happy I was wondering whether to suggest you showed it to him so he could see your point of view. Regardless of whether you have included his side of the story or not you are entitled to your point of view on things, and to be honest I was wondering whether him seeing things from your point of view might go some way towards resolving things.

I think you both need to see Relate or someone if you want to sort this out. The suggestion from him that if you work you would have to pay for all childcare was perhaps said in the heat of an argument, maybe he regrets it now, but you not being allowed to go out when he is, and you being held accountable for all the debt is really worrying.

My OH and I have joint account and seperate accounts which we each get 'pocket money' into. I pay most attention to the finances and have messed up on a few occasions, each time though we have both talked about it and decided what we can do to sort it out, and it is both of us that take a cut, not just me!!

balletshoes

RoxieW wrote: »

Hes such a hypocrite. He guards his facebook/email etc passwords with his life but has free access to mine. Not allowed any privacy now. And he wouldnt go onto this site for any other reason then to read this.

Until you posted this, I thought at least he was trying to sort out the financial problem (in a heavy-handed way, but it was early days). But seriously - this is way more about controlling every part of your life, than it is about cutting back on the overdraft.

VK-2008

roxie im sending you hugs

i think you need them

((((((((((((((roxie)))))))))))))

babyshoes

I don't have any further advice as you are the only one who knows what will REALLY work - you just need the strength to do it. I want to offer my support and hope you can get through this!

*Louise*

Roxie - I just hope you are ok (((hugs)))