Am I being awful?

gonzo127

but what is it enquiring about?

you have said you will never get together with him
you have said you are happy with your life
you have said he is happy in his life
you have said you want different things

really what questions do you want an answer to?

topsym

gonzo127 wrote: »

but what is it enquiring about?

you have said you will never get together with him
you have said you are happy with your life
you have said he is happy in his life
you have said you want different things

really what questions do you want an answer to?

What he is like now, I'd like to see what he has turned out like from when we were young, I dont know why I want to know, but i do.

miserly_mum

So despite being with you for 4 years and despite the "amazing chemistry" you both had he managed to keep his affections and his hands to himself until that last fateful night?

Then after having sex with someone he has "amazing chemistry" with he still didn't want to take things any further?

I notice you say it was you who got in touch with him and not the other way round. I can't help thinking you wanted more than a friendship from him at the time but he didn't. Lets face it if he had, you both wouldn't have ended up married to other people.

GEEGEE8

If you were my wife and I found out what you had written in this post I would be gutted and very angry.

I think you are putting these inquisitive feelings towards this old friend before your husbands feelings.. and that is very unfair of you.

I think you would be stupid to meet with him, it will only cause problems and you know it! Hence why you have come on here looking for justification that you aren't doing anything wrong, when you blatently know you are.

My_Fathers_Daughter

How would you feel if it were your husband doing the same thing?

Because it strikes me that if my husband was planning to meet up with an old flame that he felt he had 'unfinished business' with I would be devastated.

You may not have been physically unfaithful yet but mentally...



Edit: Great minds GEEGEE!

gratefulforhelp_2

There is a baby involved here, and whatever damage you choose to do to a marriage when there are no children involved, there is a child involved here. To most reasonable people that makes it off-limits.

Have a look on the child support sub-board and look at the bitterness and hatred that comes with relationship breakdown, and then come back and tell us you are happy to be instrumental in causing that.

topsym

miserly_mum wrote: »

So despite being with you for 4 years and despite the "amazing chemistry" you both had he managed to keep his affections and his hands to himself until that last fateful night?

Then after having sex with someone he has "amazing chemistry" with he still didn't want to take things any further?

I notice you say it was you who got in touch with him and not the other way round. I can't help thinking you wanted more than a friendship from him at the time but he didn't. Lets face it if he had, you both wouldn't have ended up married to other people.

Well lets say we didnt do the deed until the last night, there may have been a few snogs at various university balls over the years, and we always went with one another, but we never went out. I was always going out with others at uni, never him, but when we had the opportunity to be together we were. He always thought he was not enough and too boring for me and told me this. We just probably lusted after each other i suppose, not loved each other.

vaio

Don’t see a problem…..

Do invite him up and have a “renew the old friendships, catch up on what has been happening over the last 12 years and meet the families” event. Better still if you can also invite other friends from the same era.

Don’t meet him secretly or I guarantee it will end in tears

topsym

gratefulforhelp wrote: »

There is a baby involved here, and whatever damage you choose to do to a marriage when there are no children involved, there is a child involved here. To most reasonable people that makes it off-limits.

Have a look on the child support sub-board and look at the bitterness and hatred that comes with relationship breakdown, and then come back and tell us you are happy to be instrumental in causing that.

I am not thinking of doing ANY damage, I dont want him, I just want to see him again!

GEEGEE8

Are you planning to introduce him to your husband?
Are you going to tell your husband you are meeting with someone you slept with at uni?