Am I being awful?

LillythePink

So when's the dead dog going to come into it?

shoppaholic_returns

Genius!!!!


How did that all go? Did it get buried deep enough in the pond?????

I must take a look over on the house buying board,thanks for the reminder! I assume that youre talking about the dead dog from that forum anyway!!:D:D:D

piglet74

topsym wrote: »

I have told him I have spoken to MRx yes.

have you also told him that you might not be able to contain yourself if you meet him????

Miss_Penny_Pincher_2

topsym i feel many of the posters on here are being overly judgemental!

i'm possibly at risk of flaming here but here goes my two ha'penny worth...

You're being open with your husband and if anything if you met it could make your relationship stronger as you would know for certain if you made the right choice.

On the otherhand, you only have one life and if you are both married but your hearts are with each other surely it's best for everyone in the long run to know now?

An ex of mine wants to meet up and I don't think there's anything wrong with being friends with exes, especially as you've were friends for years before your 1 night. Personally, I worry that I would be too weak to resist so doubt I will ever risk it but if I were to meet him I'd plan it so that it would be difficult to be alone together, I guess.

kittiej

If I found out my DH was up to such tricks then I'd end up in prison with at her Majesty's pleasure.

Is it because you are genuinely curious, or (and more likely) is it because it feels dangerous, dirty and thrilling?

If you meet this man,you will probably get it on with him at the first opportunity.

You're being a silly girl and you need to get a true grip on what is reality and what is just fantasy. Is your husband not exciting? If this is the case then it's your own fault for not saying what it is you want. Pick something out of the Ann Summers catalogue and get some excitement with the bloke you're married to not some inflated idea of someone from the past.

You should have 'had closure' the mintue you married your husband, but obviously he means so little to you.

flossy_splodge

It must be lovely for those who live in their ideal world.
Unfortunately many of us don't and are mere mortals to boot.
Temptation comes with being human.
Nothing strange there.
What matters is what you do with it.

sashadesade

Miss_Penny_Pincher wrote: »

You're being open with your husband and if anything if you met it could make your relationship stronger as you would know for certain if you made the right choice.

Really? I could be mistaken, but I'm sure the OP said that her husband had no idea of what had happened between her and her uni friend, nor did he know about the chemistry between them that 'won't go away'. I doubt that she's told him about her uncertainty over her ability to contain herself around this guy either. Sounds to me like poor hubby innocently believes they are just two old buddies, I think the truth may cause him a bit more concern over the idea of them meeting up.

sassy_one

topsym wrote: »

I am a regular poster on these forums, but I need some advice today, and to see if anyone else is or has been in this situation.

Basically, I got in touch with a guy i went to uni with 12 years ago recently, he lives in another part of the country with his wife and baby, and i live with my husband.

At uni we never went out with each other but were always together and after four years, at the end of uni got together for a what i guess was a goodbye meeting. There had always been chemistry between us in a big way, and before we parted we had a meal together and the inevitable happpened. We kept in touch for a short while after that via phone and both went our separate ways.

I have always longed to find out what he was doing and how things have turned out for him, I know I would never end up with him, and i would never do anything to jeapodise my relationship or his, and he feels the same, but we just seem to have this chemistry that wont go away, and i would like to see him again.

When we spoke, he was thriled to hear from me, and we spoke for some time about our lives etc, he said he would like to see me, and would travel up here to do so. I have always hoped to see him but really dont know if i could contain myself if i did see him, i dont want to start some full blown fling or anything like that, but i do fantasise about being with him.

Don't shoot me down, I have never felt this way before ever and have always had these feelings, only for him, and i know he feels the same, but our lives went in opposite directions. I wonder weather anyone else has these thoughts or has indeed met up with someone from their past they had a special connection with??

Soon as you meet this guy, your marriage is, simply, OVER

What a horrible thing to even think about doing, specially as you are married.
The way I have read your starting post to on the matter, it's plain wrong!!!!!!!

My ex wife met a few guys 'as friends' from the internet, know what happended? I landed up divorcing her 6 months down the line after she admitted adultery!!!! - this is why this thread has made me feel completely sick, how you could hurt your husband, the man you promise to remain faithful and loyal to for the REST OF YOUR LIFE by meeting some old dream guy.

Your willing to risk your marriage on this guy, really?

Think you have your answer, your marriage isn't worth much to you.
Your post in my view has made it come across as you think things will happen between you and this guy.

I really, really really feel for your husband, not you, he is the one who should be posting here asking advice.

I hope after all the 'honeymoon' period has worn off with your new fella you understand just how much you would have hurt your husband.

I was sucidal for months after I found out my wife had been cheating and laughing behind my back, I picked myself back up because I wasn't going to let her ruin anymore of my life, I am now happily married with children, VERY HAPPILY MARRIED - If a old school friend asked me to meet and was female, I'd say, sorry I am to busy, which I am, with my family.


Disgusted at this thread:(

Rant over, do as you feel wish, just remember, tell your husband how you feel, don't drag him along without knowing anything, up to you what you do, hope it's all worth your marriage

sassy_one

Miss_Penny_Pincher wrote: »

topsym i feel many of the posters on here are being overly judgemental!

i'm possibly at risk of flaming here but here goes my two ha'penny worth...

You're being open with your husband and if anything if you met it could make your relationship stronger as you would know for certain if you made the right choice.

On the otherhand, you only have one life and if you are both married but your hearts are with each other surely it's best for everyone in the long run to know now?

An ex of mine wants to meet up and I don't think there's anything wrong with being friends with exes, especially as you've were friends for years before your 1 night. Personally, I worry that I would be too weak to resist so doubt I will ever risk it but if I were to meet him I'd plan it so that it would be difficult to be alone together, I guess.

I'm guessing by this awful post of yours that you haven't ever been married and divorced?!!

Soon as she meets him, her marriage is over, anyone here can try and dress that fact up by adding 'you'll know if you married the right guy' what the hell?? should have worked that out before marrying him, not ripping the poor guy to bits when this all leads to a very hurtful upsetting break up!!!

sassy_one

topsym wrote: »

Why, by talking to him?

Yeah, just that and yes you are doing something wrong by doing that - a little unfinished business? Really, god, this is painful for me even to read so after this post I am out of this thread.

Do you really know what your husband will feel like if/when he finds out? even if you tell him, course he will agree to you meeting him to make you happy and as it's your life, but would someone who was happily married and in love want to meet a 'old dream guy' as they have unfinished business as you class it??

All the alarm bells are ringing with me, can see you and him going different ways (you and your husband, that is)

I cannot explain the pain I went through when my first marriage broke up, I was ripped apart inside, the whole time she had a new guy she was with and didn't cry a tear over our marriage!


Are you feeling bored with your current marriage? - fancy a little 'fun' - is that r e a l l y worth your marriage? - if you believe it is, then I'm sorry but from my past experience, your marriage is good as over OP.

I hope you lose everything OP, your marriage and happiness, as what you are doing will make your husband hurt and unhappy for many years to come, and in answer to your original questions, yes you are awful by the posts you have made and your intentions!

I really feel for your husband and can't comment any further on this thread, think what you intend to do is completely and utterly wrong and very hurtful, I just hope he can pick himself up when it all fails down on him because that is what will happen OP.