Am I being awful?

poet123

The more you demur, the more it seems as if the unfinished business will be between the sheets!!

poppyolivia

gave up reading after page 3 but I showed my husband your first post and his response was...'she sounds an a*se'

thats from a blokes point of view...my point of view is pretty much the same!..sorry x

simpywimpy

Its a betrayal of your husband if you do this.

How about telling your hubby about the meeting with this other man and why........I can guess what his reaction would be and it WOULDNT be go ahead darling and enjoy yourself!

sueeve

If you contact him and he says no to meeting you you will be hurt. If he says yes to meeting you alone his wife will be hurt, and in consequence his child and his marriage. If he says yes to meeting you as 2 couples, if he is obviously more interested in his wife you will be hurt. If he is more interested in you his wife and your husband will be hurt. If he is more into chaps chat with your husband you will be fed up because he is not focussed on you, and his wife will be suspicioous about the meaning of the meeting. It is a no win situation where everyone is hurt. Fantasies are just that. Stop being so self centred. You are not the only one in this story.

LillythePink

Ok, I haven't read the whole 11 pages so don't really know if anything else has been said, but.......

Do not do it!

An ex g/f of my OH got in touch last year through FB and since then I have nothing but grief and upset.

Yes it takes two - he didn't have to email back to her (May), he didn't have to pass on his mobile number (July), he didn't have to spend hours on the phone to her one month after our wedding (September), he didn't have to send her a pic of his !!!! (October), he didn't have to start some sort of text relationship with her just before we bought our house (May).......BUT HE DID

He did all of these things behind my back but I found out about all of them at those times as well. Each time we have sat and talked about it, but after the last time I think that I almost got all of it - he readily admits that they have unfinished business, he also says that there is just something there and he did wonder what would happen if he replied to her, he also has said that if he lived back in his home town then yes, they probably would have met up and well, done the deed or even had some sort of relationship.

I hate her - I don't know her, but if I came face to face with her - I would give her what for. She has given no thought to what relationship he is in now. He told me that she was hurt/surprised when he said that he would never move back home - I got the impression that maybe she thought that she could just click her fingers and he would come running or that he was even leading her up the garden path or something like that.

He is on trial in my eyes and any trust that was built up again in between these erm.....encounters (for want of a better word) was blown to pieces.

If you value your relationship or his then just walk away and don't go there in anyway shape or form

Yes, I know that it takes two - but don't be one of them

*Louise*

Haven't read all the pages, sorry - but if I found out my husband was off meeting an old flame because there was 'unfinished business' there I would be left feeling as though I came a poor second in his affections.

There are no issues to be resolved here or you wouldn't have been out of contact for so long - you just want to see if he still fancies you.

Justify it as much as you want - it's a bad move and you know it.

GracieP

topsym wrote: »

Sorry nothing to do with facebook,cant stand it!!

So what if you didn't use Facebook? Are you really so obtuse? It has nothing to do with Facebook and whether you are on it or not. It isn't Facebook that makes people cheat. It's just that networking sites make it easier to reconnect with people we think we have "unfinished business" with. So more and more people have the opportunity to do what you are contemplating ultimately f'ing up their marriages.

It makes no difference if you 'friended' him on a social networking site, googled him and found his business contact details or he still has the same mobile number he had 10 years ago and answered when you called. You are doing the exact same thing as all of those people who cite Facebook on their divorce applications. At least open your eyes to yourself and stop clinging to every pathetic excuse to convince yourself that everyone else is wrong.

sassyblue

topsym wrote: »

TBH I think it might be weirder if his wife met me anyway, esp if she is the insecure type, certainly to be told we had a relationship of sorts at uni, Im sure she wouldnt be impressed!

We are both adults and aware of our responsiblities, and I can fantasise but dont have to act upon it. I'm sure most people are guilty of adultery in their head at some point in their lives if they care to admit it.

I just had to air this bit of the OP's post further back it's given me a chuckle how you tried to put the poor wife down. You think you had a relationship (of sorts) at uni but it amounts to a few snogs and one night sleeping together, there's absolutely nothing there for a wife to be bothered about, he didn't choose you then, he didn't choose you in the intervening years, nor to propose to, marry or have a baby with.... get the gist...?

And sure maybe alot of people commit adultery in their heads but it's hardly the same as trying your damndest to make it happen.

Besides, you seem to have changed your tune since the earlier posts now you say you just want to meet and nothing else.... l don't believe it. I think you're a wind up merchant, 12 pages and 200 posts of 'don't do it' and you're still posting. Anyone with a shred of decency or common sense would have realised by now that it's best to leave that 'unfinished business' well alone.

Wind up merchant, troublemaker, marriage wrecker one of them is you. Nothing to be proud of is it?

poppyolivia

mackemdave wrote: »

.....so how are you able to contact him after 12 yrs

The more I read of this thread the more I think you are a FAKE....Think you seriously need help.....if you are real your hubby doesnt deserve you......YOU REALLY ARE ONE SAD SLAPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldn't have said it better myself!:rotfl:

shoppaholic_returns

Oooh this one's been better than any soap opera.

Still struggling to understand all the slapper comments et al, OP hasnt actually done anything, so how can she be this???

Oh and the world doesnt actually revolve around facebook, I think its crap too!! Op might actually have mutual uni friends who keep in touch or have his number, just a thought or how did people survive before FB???