Am I being awful?

GEEGEE8

But how can you be sure of how you will feel when you see him?!

How do you know it won't open up a can of worms?

topsym

gonzo127 wrote: »

right well i am going to bow out of this as it appears to me that you have decided you will be meeting up with this guy no matter what anyone says, and no matter how much this will probably hurt and upset your husband (as you have already admitted if the boot was on the other foot you would feel awful) as you just have to 'scratch this itch'

Thankyou for your comments,but i have by no means made up my mind. Theres certainly more to think about than just my involvement in this situation.

topsym

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

But how can you be sure of how you will feel when you see him?!

How do you know it won't open up a can of worms?

I can be sure, our last meeting was left in a moment, we never really said what we wanted to say to each other and really properly say goodbye and good luck.

topsym

emsywoo123 wrote: »

OP, I posted this morning on page 1. I stand by my comments, but this thread has made me think all day about my "one that got away" (OTGA)

I am sure many of us have that one. (hopefully not the same guy as me :rotfl::rotfl: )

I know that given half a chance, if I could see him, just for one minute, I would say yes. Now. As I am single.

Truthfully, would I have taken that same opportunity when I was in my last relationship? Shockingly, yes.

And perhaps that is as much as sign that my most recent "ex" was not "the one", as my OTGA, I would NOT have risked our relationship for any other man. And that is what you are doing.

If you are in the same mind set as me, then you will meet this man no matter what anyone on here says. But do not hide behind the veil that you are "just curious" as to what he is up to. That is what phones and email are for.

I feel, from reading your posts, you want/need to know if the spark is still there. What could have been.

I wish you every luck in whatever you decide to do.

Thankyou, I'm not thinking he's the one, just the boyfriend I might have had. Nice to talk about the old times though!

clearing_out_my_pockets

topsym wrote: »

I can see exactly where you are coming from, but i genuinely dont intend to rekindle anything with him,I just want to see him and put it all to rest in my head.

That's exactly what I thought. We were inseparable for those two years, even during the 'off' phases of our relationship. That's why we continued to meet up in the early stages of my new relationship. But those feelings wouldn't go away so I made a conscious decision to back off and not contact him. That was in 2002. In 2006, my relationship ended, which coincided with my dad being critically ill in hospital. J had always got on with my dad so he came round and offered a shoulder to cry on. And you know what? As inappropriate as it was at the time, I still would have if he'd asked.

My ex hates me, by the way. We'd split before J & I got together but he conveniently forgets the real reasons we split and prefers to blame me.

topsym

We are not in constant contact and live literally hundreds of miles from each other, it just wouldnt happen, you also have to want it to happen and I dont.

emsywoo123

topsym wrote: »

We are not in constant contact and live literally hundreds of miles from each other, it just wouldnt happen, you also have to want it to happen and I dont.

You can say you don't until you are blue in the face, but even if you don't acknowledge it, you DO!

If you are going to do this, you need to be far more aware of why or it will take you unawares.........

clearing_out_my_pockets

You don't appear to be listening to me (which admittedly is difficult when I'm not actually talking)

I didn't WANT to feel anything for J. I just did. He didn't WANT to feel anything for me, but he did. He's said to me since that he knew my relationship wasn't a happy one but couldn't say anything as he didn't want to be 'the other man'.

The distance is neither here nor there if he's visiting for the weekend. And it would have to be a weekend or at least overnight if it's hundreds of miles.

emsywoo123

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

You don't appear to be listening to me (which admittedly is difficult when I'm not actually talking)

I didn't WANT to feel anything for J. I just did. He didn't WANT to feel anything for me, but he did. He's said to me since that he knew my relationship wasn't a happy one but couldn't say anything as he didn't want to be 'the other man'.

The distance is neither here nor there if he's visiting for the weekend. And it would have to be a weekend or at least overnight if it's hundreds of miles.

I want your story Not my poxy "never gonna see each other again" one :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::D

poet123

Simple, don't do it. Most of us could go down that route if we wanted to, the simple fact is life has its twists and turns and we never know where the other route would have led, that is how is should be. Be happy where you are, or take the consequences and there will be consequences for more than just you and him.