Am I being awful?

topsym

Robin Please dont throw your accrid aspertions at me, go to another board if you are that bothered!

topsym

My_Fathers_Daughter wrote: »

Where? I am afraid I can't see a response.

I said I would feel awful, above your original post,thanks!

minnie123

topsym wrote: »

I have! see above

I don't think you have answered the question people are asking! How would you feel if your OH was meeting up with a girl he slept with at Uni and fantasises about - even in a group meeting I can't imagine you would be happy about it.

Leave well alone and stay away.

minnie123

I didn't see you say you would feel awful!

If that is how you would feel then you have answered your own question.

topsym

minnie123 wrote: »

I don't think you have answered the question people are asking! How would you feel if your OH was meeting up with a girl he slept with at Uni and fantasises about - even in a group meeting I can't imagine you would be happy about it.

Leave well alone and stay away.

I wouldnt be happy, but if he felt he had to do it to resolve issues from the past,or just to meet to see how she had done in life then I would let him. I speak to the few exes I have had and dont want to have sex with them,but i must of felt something for them in the past,as mrx and my husband has no issues,they are friends as is mrx

clearing_out_my_pockets

Posted again...

Just to add my thoughts / experiences...

At secondary school, I dated a guy (let's call him J) on & off for two years (didn't sleep with him) and I was head over heels. After leaving we went our separate ways but I thought of him often and he was my 'one that got away'. I met a new partner (M) who I was with for 6 years. On occassions over the first two of those 6 years, I met up with J with the full knowledge of M. After all, J & I had been friends, we hadn't slept together, etc. M knew about my past feelings for J. Nothing happened, but the spark was still there. After M & I split up (nothing to do with J) J got in touch with me not knowing I was single. I didn't tell him I was single either as I didn't want to ruin our friendship. After three months I came clean and admitted that M & I had split up. J & I are now engaged and M still to this day believes that I was unfaithful. Emotionally, I suppose I was.

Do you seriously think no harm can come of this? Although meeting with J didn't end my relationship, the fact that I am with him now has ruined my ex's memories of our relationship. He believes that the whole time we were together I was thinking of J.

emsywoo123

OP, I posted this morning on page 1. I stand by my comments, but this thread has made me think all day about my "one that got away" (OTGA)

I am sure many of us have that one. (hopefully not the same guy as me :rotfl::rotfl: )

I know that given half a chance, if I could see him, just for one minute, I would say yes. Now. As I am single.

Truthfully, would I have taken that same opportunity when I was in my last relationship? Shockingly, yes.

And perhaps that is as much as sign that my most recent "ex" was not "the one", as my OTGA, I would NOT have risked our relationship for any other man. And that is what you are doing.

If you are in the same mind set as me, then you will meet this man no matter what anyone on here says. But do not hide behind the veil that you are "just curious" as to what he is up to. That is what phones and email are for.

I feel, from reading your posts, you want/need to know if the spark is still there. What could have been.

I wish you every luck in whatever you decide to do.

GEEGEE8

Am I the only one that hasn't got a 'OTGA' ?? I had one serious boyfriend from 17-25, and now onto my 2nd serious boyfriend of 1.5yrs so far.. Not one bit interested in past people.. I am a bit nosey and would like to know the dirt on the ex and what he is up to, but not to meet him or talk to him, just a fly on the wall lol.

gonzo127

right well i am going to bow out of this as it appears to me that you have decided you will be meeting up with this guy no matter what anyone says, and no matter how much this will probably hurt and upset your husband (as you have already admitted if the boot was on the other foot you would feel awful) as you just have to 'scratch this itch'

topsym

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

Posted again...

Just to add my thoughts / experiences...

At secondary school, I dated a guy (let's call him J) on & off for two years (didn't sleep with him) and I was head over heels. After leaving we went our separate ways but I thought of him often and he was my 'one that got away'. I met a new partner (M) who I was with for 6 years. On occassions over the first two of those 6 years, I met up with J with the full knowledge of M. After all, J & I had been friends, we hadn't slept together, etc. M knew about my past feelings for J. Nothing happened, but the spark was still there. After M & I split up (nothing to do with J) J got in touch with me not knowing I was single. I didn't tell him I was single either as I didn't want to ruin our friendship. After three months I came clean and admitted that M & I had split up. J & I are now engaged and M still to this day believes that I was unfaithful. Emotionally, I suppose I was.

Do you seriously think no harm can come of this? Although meeting with J didn't end my relationship, the fact that I am with him now has ruined my ex's memories of our relationship. He believes that the whole time we were together I was thinking of J.

I can see exactly where you are coming from, but i genuinely dont intend to rekindle anything with him,I just want to see him and put it all to rest in my head.