my son wants to get custody for his son

Mojisola

esmy wrote: »

Is your son named on the childs birth certificate? If so then he has 'parental responsibility' just as mum does. If he wants to apply for 'custody' (now residence) he needs to get legal advice initially from a firm that does the half hour free scheme and check where he stands re legal aid. However he should check with social services what their position is on his baby's current care, as they will possibly be asked to provide a report in any court proceedings, especially if they are already involved. Your role in all this may be to support your son if he gets care of the baby.

OP - has your son got parental responsibility? As he has gone down the DNA testing route, he probably didn't go and register the birth with the mother. Has he been to court to get himself acknowledged as the father or does he have a parental responsibility agreement with the mother?

You say you're already having your grandson about four days a week - do you have him overnight as well?

JBD

tweetie_pie wrote: »

if some1 tells u that they r on the pill and they r not what is that called he had the sense to use a condom but it split but to be honest this is about his son he hasnt regretted being a dad his proud to be one

That's fair enough tweetie pie, as I said it sounds as if he has been unlucky concerning the condom. I wasn't attacking you for the sake of it, I was just questioning the impression I got from your initial post. I do think it is very important for parents to make teenage sons as aware of their responsibilities concerning sex and contraception as girls are. I felt this was relevant in the circumstances of you helping to take care of your Grandson. I didn't intend it to be a personal attack.
Whatever happens the well being of your Grandson is the most important thing so I hope you get the help that you need.

tweetie_pie_3

Catblue wrote: »

OP, I was going to write a harsh reply about how you are sheltering your son from his responsibilities.

Then I read your previous thread about splitting with your partner and all the troubles that has brought you, so I won't.

I know that you are just trying to help in a very difficult situation.

However, you need to think about your own health here also. Are you absolutely sure that you can take care of a baby practically full-time? You also have a grown up child, but two other dependent children living with you, right? You are under a lot of stress right now and bringing up a new baby is not going to help with that. As a lone mother, you will have four dependent children living with you.

So what about money? If your partner has gone, you don't work and your son doesn't work, then where is the money coming from to provide financially for this child? And the other dependent children in the house? You sincerely need to address this. If you are looking after your grandson full-time then it will be difficult for you to get a job. Your financial situation will be terrible.

At the very least, your son needs to take responsibility for his own child. If he is mooching around at college doing some rubbish course then the best thing would be for him to quit and get a job. If his college course is going to lead to him having better prospects then he needs to carry on with the course and get a job for evenings, weekends and summer holidays.

Good luck with it.

Hi
thankyou for your advice and i have had problems in the past but i am still with my partner we have been going to relate and are a lot happier now thankyou
he is in the middle of doing a 2 year course and its in the building trade to help get him a good job at the end of the course and he is applying for evening/weekend work

agscully

tweetie_pie wrote: »

Hi
my grandson is 8 weeks old and he is not looked after properly from the mother she has even told me she dont want him but its her mum that stops her giving him up

A bit of the background the other grandmother had her daughter(my grandsons mum) taken away into care as a child throiugh to neglect she went on to have 2 more children years later which she managed to keep but has had social services involved in their family for nearly 30 years
my son is 18 in 2 weeks and basically got tricked into fatherhood but he did support her through her pregnancy and labour although he wasnt with her and wasnt sure he was his, so we had to get a dna done which proved he was the father.
The baby lives with the mum and grandmothers family although she has her own flat, the house isnt clean and my grandson has had oral thrush been in hospital for over feeding and was constipated and basically general care
As the mother lives with her mum my grandson is under a social worker some of the reasons are to do with her mum the others which none of us knew about until last week is she has taken drugs and has a violent background
Social workers want the baby to come to us but i dont know where to start - Ok they want the baby to come and live with you , its not down to you to know where to start , THEY are the social workers if they wanted him with you he would be with you if they suspect he is in danger where he is they would apply for either an emergency protection order or an interim care order they would not say they want him to live with you but then leave you to work out what to do next . THEY would tell you what you have to do next .
My son is a student living with us and im prepared to look after him while my son is at college
We cant afford solicitors but would my son get legal aid as his a student and could he apply for an order or do we have to
We need to act fast or as quickly as possible as there is some suspicians of neglect but as yet no proof but they were so worried last night social and police were hunting her down thankfully my grandson was fine
please help i really need advice on what to do before something bad happens
thankyou

I have read through your thread and IMO i cant see why the child would be any better off living with you , you suspect neglect but have no proof , you claim social services want him to live with you but yet they have done nothing to make that happen , you have a previous thread which mentions you took an overdose recently so being honest here i dont think he would be any safer living with yourself and your family , are the social services aware that you took an overdose ? in my experience of them ( due to work ) i very much doubt that if they knew that they would place the child with you , unless you had gone through some therapy or counselling to resolve the issues which led to you taking the overdose.

Is your son paying maintenence ? Does he visit is child ? is he actively showing an interest in his son ? All of these things are inportant if you want the child living with you .

tweetie_pie_3

esmy wrote: »

Is your son named on the childs birth certificate? If so then he has 'parental responsibility' just as mum does. If he wants to apply for 'custody' (now residence) he needs to get legal advice initially from a firm that does the half hour free scheme and check where he stands re legal aid. However he should check with social services what their position is on his baby's current care, as they will possibly be asked to provide a report in any court proceedings, especially if they are already involved. Your role in all this may be to support your son if he gets care of the baby.

His name is on the birth certificate she wanted his name on it so when the dna results were here he went with her
He in under child protection the baby is and i have several forms to do with her past and her mothers past and yes the social wants him to get residency but we support him as after college he will get a job and like a lot of parents lone or otherwise they do put children in a nursery while they r at work but he will be with a member of his family instead

tweetie_pie_3

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I've just read the other posts and I agree with you. To be honest though I would question whether the baby would even be better in this household as there are alot of issues going on here too.

Poor wee baby

we have sorted our issues out so his not a poor wee baby he is a much loved baby and we r very happy so please dont judge when u didnt even find out first if my situation was still like that my partner and i are much happier we went to relate the children r settled and my grandson just makes it perfect

tweetie_pie_3

CHRISSYG wrote: »

what difference does it make now ?
it sounds like he wants to take responsability and good on him, see about legal aid and do whatever you have to do.

Thankyou so much for your post
you are one of the first people to actually say good on him he is 17 nearly 18 and yes a young dad but wants to take on responsibility for his son
If it was the other way around and he was a 17 year old mum people would be praising her up but some of these posters are not thinking of the fact shes a past drug user have lied about medication telling every1 it was prescribed it was the social worker what found out it wasnt
If she is giving him too much it is dangerous and my son wants to look after him b4 its too late
there r several things i havnt said cos its not fair to drag up everything from her past or to do with her as i do feel sorry for her but my main concern is for my grandson thanks again

tweetie_pie_3

nottslass wrote: »

But the accusation that she was supposedly giving the child too much calpol was found to be untrue - if there really was any concern then a simple blood test would have shown how much was in the babys system.

Just done a quick google and brings up the dosage of calpol for a 2 month old baby and recommends usage for after vaccinations - Hardly an emergency. My GP gave me this advice also.

Sorry there are too many inconsistencies in your posts and most of what is being said re the childs mother appears to be "hear say".

I'm not suggesting that you don't have the childs welfare at heart but if you start to take legal action and the court decides that the accusations are unfounded then then both you and your son run the risk of being excluded from the babies life.

Social services obviously have no immediate serious concerns or they would have removed the child from its mothers care by now - and this is what the courts will look at when making any decisions.

He is under child protection so he is at risk and if she is over dosing him its dangerous there is evidence of neglect but as she dont look after him its her mum like i said i cant go into every detail just that she doesnt want him and we have been advised to get a residency order from social services

jamespir

ok it seems to me they are both as bad as ecah other and you and the other grandma are being left to pick up the pieces if social services want you to have baby then they should be doing everything to give you it so you dont need a solicistor but its seems that social services (as they normally do) are playing one of against the other so see if you geta chat with a solistor just to see what youre options are

lynzpower

tweetie_pie wrote: »

Thankyou so much for your post
you are one of the first people to actually say good on him he is 17 nearly 18 and yes a young dad but wants to take on responsibility for his son
If it was the other way around and he was a 17 year old mum people would be praising her up but some of these posters are not thinking of the fact shes a past drug user have lied about medication telling every1 it was prescribed it was the social worker what found out it wasnt
If she is giving him too much it is dangerous and my son wants to look after him b4 its too late
there r several things i havnt said cos its not fair to drag up everything from her past or to do with her as i do feel sorry for her but my main concern is for my grandson thanks again

I think the most important thing you can do in this process is to be entirely honest about what help and support you as a faimly will need. There is no point at all in trying to pretend that you are all "copers" and will be fine without support. If you have had emotional difficulties it is worth being open and honest about these with the SW when you are in session. if you arnt it will come back at a later stage.

Likewise, your son will obviously have your support, but maybe he would benefit from a young dads group in the area, to support his own emotional development in coming to terms with potentially whats about to happen.

Dont focus on the childs mum, social workers will be doing all that, although its useful to keep an informal diary of "if things are said" that you or more importantly your son are concerned by.

If he is under S47=- child protection then little you can add is going to change that.

Now is the time for open minds and open hearts. How will you manage between you if a shared care arrangement is come to?

I say this from many years in Childrens social work and a short spell in adoption and family finding.