my son wants to get custody for his son

clearing_out_my_pockets

OP, if you (or you son) have your grandchild four days a week, it could be argued that your son already has custody if you have him overnight. (Think it's referred to as parent with residency, but I'm not experienced in this area!)

In fairness to the child's mother it doesn't sound as if SHE is mistreating or neglecting him - it's the grandmother. Maybe the mother could be persuaded that her son would be better off in a stable, loving home.

smk77

RAS wrote: »

tweetie pie

just come on here and am really shocked by the unhelpfu land judgemental behaviour of some of the newer posters on here. They seem to think they have come to one of the red-tops, not MSE.

They have got a point that needs raising though...The son should get himself checked out.

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

I have him about 4 days in a week now sometimes more and my son knows she doesnt want him ever since they split up she hasnt bonded with baby
I was supporting her and giving her advice i still do but its diofficult when she dont even look at her baby let alone feed him
its a sad case and if i thought she wanted him id never take him away from her but every day she asks me to have him we even got her in baby massage classes to bond but she couldnt b bothered to go thanks for the advice and i will seriously consider things but i feel as if he lives here already as we have him a lot but everytime his with mum for a few days his ill
I just want him to feel loved and in a stable home which i really thought she would want him as she was taken into care ive even suggested her going to the docs for counselling so i have tried everything to help
she said 2 weeks ago she didnt want him i sed look have a free w/end i will have him but u need to think carefully b4 u decide and her mum rang up said her daughters missing him so i took him down there and she wasnt there she had a weekend of fun as she put it

Unfortunately your posts appear to be all about you,how much you want to care for the baby and how youfeel that your grandson would be better off in your care - sorry but your op stated that it was your son that wanted custody.
Before this poor child is put through more upheaval, don't you really need to sit down and seriously discuss what your son feels is best for his son and how he intends to care for the baby fulltime for the next 18 years ? I truly understand your love and concern for your grandson but remember its your son that is the childs parent not you.

tweetie_pie_3

the mum is not young she is 10 years older than my son and i have taught my son how to do things and now he looks after him no problem and his got all of us who will support him as his still living at home

onlyroz

You have barely mentioned your son's involvement in this child's upbringing. To be honest it sounds like you're the one that wants to be the "parent", and not your son. How does *he* feel about the situation? Does he want to be a full-time dad, or will he be wanting to farm the poor kid onto grandparents as well?

tweetie_pie_3

onlyroz wrote: »

You have barely mentioned your son's involvement in this child's upbringing. To be honest it sounds like you're the one that wants to be the "parent", and not your son. How does *he* feel about the situation? Does he want to be a full-time dad, or will he be wanting to farm the poor kid onto grandparents as well?

Read above and yes he does want to look after his son as he does it nearly all the time now i know his young but i have taught him how to care for him and he is very much wanted by my son and his family so his not a poor kid at all

tweetie_pie_3

JBD wrote: »

Not bullying at all. The OP said that her son was tricked into the pregnancy. She was the one who mentioned it and it came across to me as if she was trying to paint the girl in a bad light and absolve the son from responsibility. They were both responsible and I would take that stance if it was my own son/daughter.
If the OP didn't want anyone to mention it then why did she bring it up? Surely we can comment on every point made.

I have supported the mum like my son through all her pregnancy and still doing so ive encouraged her to work with the social workers we have bought her things for her flat i say tricked because my son thought that it would b ok when the condom split cos she was on the pill she has done this quite a few times to boys 1 as young as 14 but this was the first time she became pregnant well actually twice cos she lost1

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

the mum is not young she is 10 years older than my son and i have taught my son how to do things and now he looks after him no problem and his got all of us who will support him as his still living at home

But he wont be living at home forever.

It would be an absolute tragedy if a child was taken from its birth mother and placed in the care of a father who cannot commit to be responsible for the child for the next 18 years and then decided to up and leave in a few years thus leaving the child in your care ?

Its Your son and not you that. has to decide on the long term welfare and commitment to the Baby - for the child's sake.

lwc86

Hi op

Im very new 2 this site & i can not believe some of the replys you have had to this,infact it makes me cringe.

My mom always taught me if you dont have something nice to say dont say anything at all, You are asking for advise about legal aid & certain people on this site are having ago at your parenting skills, they must have such perfect lives

I dont have any advice to offer you, I just wanted to say well done for trying to support this grandchild, and good luck, im sure your son will do a great job at bringing up his child with your help and support x

lynzpower

nottslass wrote: »

But he wont be living at home forever.

It would be an absolute tragedy if a child was taken from its birth mother and placed in the care of a father who cannot commit to be responsible for the child for the next 18 years and then decided to up and leave in a few years thus leaving the child in your care ?

Its Your son and not you that. has to decide on the long term welfare and commitment to the Baby - for the child's sake.

Actually in this case you may well find it is the courts that decide in the end.

There are many families up and down the land where children live full-time permanently with the grandparents, if both parents cannot be relied on to provide adequate parenting and grandparents are the social workers and childs first consideration if the parents cant be relied on.