my son wants to get custody for his son

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nottslass wrote: »

Actually I think you'll find "care and control" doesn't exist anymore.

If indeed your case for residency ever gets to court,can I suggest you actually stick to the facts instead of making it up as you go along ? Otherwise you are going to make yourself look really stupid when the defense start pulling your story to pieces.

Actually it was the nurse who said that and i have rang up the sw at the family centre with over 30 years experience and she said it is correct they each have PR but mum has care and control
Im sorry u feel the need to attack me but i didnt even know about care and control or even if my son had equal PR cos his names on the birth certificate so thats y i have been asking the sw as they know more than me so please dont attack me its the information im getting from them

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blue_monkey wrote: »

The chip is because people here keep going on that this 17 year old boy should be throwing his weight around and because he is not this makes him an unfit parents.

Having been on the end of stuff like this then you should understand also that sometimes, when you are told to do them you just do. You don't even question it because of fear.

I look back now and wish I had done things very differently - people belittling the fear some people face from others really, really annoys me having been in that situation and that is very unfair. And yes, they are belittling him for not going up and there insiting to see the baby there and then. Maybe not everyone are as strong as you are, or can assume that sort of authority. there are a whole load of dads over on F4J who are in the exact same situations - life for dads regarding contact and access is not all that it should be unfortunately even though they have PRP.

Anyway, OP I wish all of you well whatever the outcome. No-one should have to live in fear of anyone and I am now leaving this thread as it is just going round in circles with people berating you for not doing what they would have done - more so people who have also lived with violence, or a fear of it, in their lives and that annoys me. You would think those would have some more understanding on the whole situation but obviously not. Which is a shame.

yes it is and we are just trying to do whats right and not hear of another child being hurt in their mums care but ty so much for your understanding and support it means a lot tc x

RAS

tweetie_pie wrote: »

He would of but if you are worried about your child then get told u cant see them would you be happy about that

Hi

If your son is going to be helping raise this child, then he is going to get no manner of grief and hassle, arguement with the mother over the next 20 years.

So he needs to get used to staying calm and behaving well when he is not happy with what is going on.

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BAILEYS6904 wrote: »

OP, I have watched this thread from the start, and can only hope that we are getting either twisted or exaggerated reports from you.

It really does appear to me that it is you that wants custody of the baby, as oppose to your son. I'm not saying that its not for the right reason, however as the GRANDMOTHER, act like one, instead of using this as a chance to become mother again.

The mother of the child needs support. Every mother does, especially new ones. You seem to have issues with the other grandmother, because she is making the mother keep the child. GOOD!!! Maybe, in her own way, with the mistakes she made herself, she is trying to encourage her child into manning up and doing what she has to do. What mother will bond with a child, if they dont have a chance to? Whilst you may think you're helping, you're making it easier for the mother to step away from her responsibilities. I remember, when I had my son, I was sooooo tired and fed up and miserable, and then he smiled for the first time, and it made it all worth it. You're not giving the mother chance to have that.

It is possible to have a family unit even with extended family, without the parents being together, but each person needs to be mature about it. You dont slag each other off, or point out faults (unless of course they are harmful to the child). Lifestyle doesnt matter if the child is no where near. Myself and my ex not have a great relationship, as do my parents and his, they both go to birthday parties, have access to our child, me and ex can have proper conversations about his upbringing etc. the result??? A very happy child, secure in the knowledge that despite not being from a typical family unit, he is well loved and well cared for by all concerned. You need to put your issues with the mothers family to one side, stop listening to hearsay or wanting to believe the worst of them, step back and ask yourself if this baby is REALLY at risk. If it is, work with all concerned to do the best for the child, not necessarily the best for yourself or your son. You will need to answer to the baby in a few years time, make sure that you have made the best decisions for the child and that they can see that. Otherwise you will affect the child for the rest of its life

For your information a lot of what i have been told has come from the proffessionals the babies mum never did get on with her mum as she still have a lot of issues regarding her childhood i have tried to support her in fact we did throughout her pregnancy when her mum didnt i have suggested ways to help her since babies been born but how can u help some1 that dont listen and just talk about nights out rather than baby
I was a single parent once so i do know but i always thought of providing everything wot my child needs not use baby 4 her own advantage and when mum keeps dumping baby off to just any1 cos we couldnt have him 1 night so she appealed on f/b for any1

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Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Oh I know! I was merely keeping the late entrant into the thread up to speed as they seem to have a different take on things!;)

Yes when it was said at the time, I thought that was odd. Particularly as the OP said that she said her Son was there beside her and could he talk to the nurses but he wouldn't get info either?!

even my son rang up regarding the calpol as she stated we had to give it to him every 4 hours again and he wasnt told anything so we had to get it from the sw who rang up hospital and was told only if he needs it

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nottslass wrote: »

TBH I'm begging to think that the OP has real MH issues ( that is not intended as an insult) She appears to be a complete fantasist.

I've noticed that the OP is quite selective when replying to posts and "back tracks" when" suggestions" have been made by posters.

It's strange how she never replies to the posts when somebody Questions a Technicality of a procedure or indeed what a professional has apparently "advised "her, My only guess is because these are the ones that can be proved to be "exaggerated.

I am quite saddenned and extremly upset on how this thread has turned out so im going to be leaving
All we ever wanted was advice before things happened as he is only little and has had such a bad spell already
Thankyou to all the posters that actually do understand and i wish you all well
Im sorry if some of my posts maybe seem a bit jubbled but im telling u things straight from family centre docs sw etc
I for 1 dont know how the law works so thats y i asked for advice and just told you what ppl have told me
I really hope the other posters do not find themselves in this situation because its not nice im just thankful some of the posters are how this forum used to be
take care all

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Kulafey wrote: »

Paracetamol is dangerous if given at a dose higher than recommended or over a long period to babies, children or adults. It can cause permanent liver damage. I have seen many mothers "abuse" calpol, for example, by repeatedly dipping a fretful baby's dummy in it. I'm sure they're trying to help the child, but it can be very dangerous.

you are correct i even asked the health visitor to clarify this as some posters didnt believe me and she clearly stated its dangerous but oh well i have mental health issues as some1 pointed out so what do i know
thanks for the support

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RAS wrote: »

Hi

If your son is going to be helping raise this child, then he is going to get no manner of grief and hassle, arguement with the mother over the next 20 years.

So he needs to get used to staying calm and behaving well when he is not happy with what is going on.

The family centre has already said they will deal with that side of things i dont want arguments neither does he and his only 17 but his being more mature than the mum he doesnt bite bk on f/b when she writes comments or when she says things to his face he just calmly picks up his son and go cos he like the rest of us just want baby to be looked after and safe
Anyway thats for posting

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Thankyou for all those that do understand the situation and im sorry i didnt post a reply to everyone but a poster said earlier there was no need to reply if you were just attacking me as i came on here 4 advice
I am not a troll far from it just a concerned grandmother and my concerns comes from the reports not hearsay im a mum with 4 children do u really think id listen to hearsay i get the FACTS and i certainly havnt got MH issues
Anyway ty for the advice so far from some i think my son and i better go it alone from now on as its difficult enough as it is i really dont need to come on here to get attacked so i wish you all well no hard feelings take care