my son wants to get custody for his son

one_hot_minute

Blue Monkey, with all due respect, I wish you'd stop projecting what's happened to you onto this situation.

I also wish you'd stop assuming that everyone else has it easy because they've not been through what you have. We've all been through traumatic experiences and I for one have been very frightened of someone violent, but I'm not gonna spew it all over this thread. Take the chip off your shoulder please.

And yes, what Nottlass says, he can have the baby overnight but cant visit the hospital? Weird.

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

nurse advised my son not to go up there as mum has care and control and she sed no he wanted to go up there and maybe i was to blame that he didnt because i said the nurses advised u against it and these are the proffessionals so u have to do as they say
but he rang hospital in the morning and spoke to grandmother he also rang up the hospital tonight to see if they gave baby calpol as mum said they did but he said i better check cos she sed it was prescribed before

Actually I think you'll find "care and control" doesn't exist anymore.

If indeed your case for residency ever gets to court,can I suggest you actually stick to the facts instead of making it up as you go along ? Otherwise you are going to make yourself look really stupid when the defense start pulling your story to pieces.

blue_monkey_2

one_hot_minute wrote: »

Blue Monkey, with all due respect, I wish you'd stop projecting what's happened to you onto this situation.

I also wish you'd stop assuming that everyone else has it easy because they've not been through what you have. We've all been through traumatic experiences and I for one have been very frightened of someone violent, but I'm not gonna spew it all over this thread. Take the chip off your shoulder please.

The chip is because people here keep going on that this 17 year old boy should be throwing his weight around and because he is not this makes him an unfit parents.

Having been on the end of stuff like this then you should understand also that sometimes, when you are told to do them you just do. You don't even question it because of fear.

I look back now and wish I had done things very differently - people belittling the fear some people face from others really, really annoys me having been in that situation and that is very unfair. And yes, they are belittling him for not going up and there insiting to see the baby there and then. Maybe not everyone are as strong as you are, or can assume that sort of authority. there are a whole load of dads over on F4J who are in the exact same situations - life for dads regarding contact and access is not all that it should be unfortunately even though they have PRP.

Anyway, OP I wish all of you well whatever the outcome. No-one should have to live in fear of anyone and I am now leaving this thread as it is just going round in circles with people berating you for not doing what they would have done - more so people who have also lived with violence, or a fear of it, in their lives and that annoys me. You would think those would have some more understanding on the whole situation but obviously not. Which is a shame.

nottslass_2

Actually I can't decide if The OP is just a complete Troll or has embellished the facts for dramatisation.

Either way the OP appears to have "issues" and needs to get help.

nottslass_2

blue_monkey wrote: »

The chip is because people here keep going on that this 17 year old boy should be throwing his weight around and because he is not this makes him an unfit parents.

Having been on the end of stuff like this then you should understand also that sometimes, when you are told to do them you just do. You don't even question it because of fear.

I look back now and wish I had done things very differently - people belittling the fear some people face from others really, really annoys me having been in that situation and that is very unfair. And yes, they are belittling him for not going up and there insiting to see the baby there and then. Maybe not everyone are as strong as you are, or can assume that sort of authority. there are a whole load of dads over on F4J who are in the exact same situations - life for dads regarding contact and access is not all that it should be unfortunately even though they have PRP.

Anyway, OP I wish all of you well whatever the outcome. No-one should have to live in fear of anyone and I am now leaving this thread as it is just going round in circles with people berating you for not doing what they would have done - more so people who have also lived with violence, or a fear of it, in their lives and that annoys me. You would think those would have some more understanding on the whole situation but obviously not. Which is a shame.

Nobody is suggesting the son "throws his weight around" (except the ones suggesting he "snatch" the baby)

There OP has never made any reference to being frightened of the mother or grandmother - mind you she may come on here later professing that this is now the case,as a pattern is emerging where she changes the "facts" when "suggestions" are posted.

one_hot_minute

nottslass wrote: »

Nobody is suggesting the son "throws his weight around" (except the ones suggesting he "snatch" the baby)

I believe it was actually Blue Monkey who first suggested this. :whistle:

BAILEYS6904

OP, I have watched this thread from the start, and can only hope that we are getting either twisted or exaggerated reports from you.

It really does appear to me that it is you that wants custody of the baby, as oppose to your son. I'm not saying that its not for the right reason, however as the GRANDMOTHER, act like one, instead of using this as a chance to become mother again.

The mother of the child needs support. Every mother does, especially new ones. You seem to have issues with the other grandmother, because she is making the mother keep the child. GOOD!!! Maybe, in her own way, with the mistakes she made herself, she is trying to encourage her child into manning up and doing what she has to do. What mother will bond with a child, if they dont have a chance to? Whilst you may think you're helping, you're making it easier for the mother to step away from her responsibilities. I remember, when I had my son, I was sooooo tired and fed up and miserable, and then he smiled for the first time, and it made it all worth it. You're not giving the mother chance to have that.

It is possible to have a family unit even with extended family, without the parents being together, but each person needs to be mature about it. You dont slag each other off, or point out faults (unless of course they are harmful to the child). Lifestyle doesnt matter if the child is no where near. Myself and my ex not have a great relationship, as do my parents and his, they both go to birthday parties, have access to our child, me and ex can have proper conversations about his upbringing etc. the result??? A very happy child, secure in the knowledge that despite not being from a typical family unit, he is well loved and well cared for by all concerned. You need to put your issues with the mothers family to one side, stop listening to hearsay or wanting to believe the worst of them, step back and ask yourself if this baby is REALLY at risk. If it is, work with all concerned to do the best for the child, not necessarily the best for yourself or your son. You will need to answer to the baby in a few years time, make sure that you have made the best decisions for the child and that they can see that. Otherwise you will affect the child for the rest of its life

Loopy_Girl

blue_monkey wrote: »

The chip is because people here keep going on that this 17 year old boy should be throwing his weight around and because he is not this makes him an unfit parents.

Having been on the end of stuff like this then you should understand also that sometimes, when you are told to do them you just do. You don't even question it because of fear.

I look back now and wish I had done things very differently - people belittling the fear some people face from others really, really annoys me having been in that situation and that is very unfair. And yes, they are belittling him for not going up and there insiting to see the baby there and then. Maybe not everyone are as strong as you are, or can assume that sort of authority. there are a whole load of dads over on F4J who are in the exact same situations - life for dads regarding contact and access is not all that it should be unfortunately even though they have PRP.

Anyway, OP I wish all of you well whatever the outcome. No-one should have to live in fear of anyone and I am now leaving this thread as it is just going round in circles with people berating you for not doing what they would have done - more so people who have also lived with violence, or a fear of it, in their lives and that annoys me. You would think those would have some more understanding on the whole situation but obviously not. Which is a shame.

Have you had counselling to get rid of that manhoosive chip on your shoulder?

Do you think you are the only one who grew up in a less than palatable household?

The baby is 9 weeks old. She may have PND, she may not. She may have issues (much like yourself) as she had a crappy childhood (though not as bad as your naturally) and she may or may not want this baby but at 9 weeks old, she has to be given every opportunity and then when it is exhausted the baby could be removed.

Now, you need some full on counselling to get over your past and as others have said, stop projecting the 'woe is me' attitude onto the thread. It's becoming rather cringy to read all the time.

Frosti

Just a note to the posters who have been critical of this baby's Dad for not high-tailing it over to the hospital when he heard his baby had been admitted..

Night-staff on most NHS hospital wards are at or below minimum numbers. They do not have all the family details, and are only concerned with their patients' medical problems. Rightly, the door to the paediatric ward will be locked at night - none of those sick babies needs the disturbance of upset people claiming to be family creating a fuss and taking the attention of the few nurses away from them.

The lad did right by 'phoning, and accepting the reassurances of the nurse he spoke to.

I am glad babe is out of hospital and on the mend now.

Loopy_Girl

The 'lad' didn't phone - his Mother did.

And he didn't get the reassurances from the nurses. They only told him that the babies' Mum had told him to stay away which the OP then told her Son.

He didn't find out until the next morning what was wrong with his baby.

Could you stay in your house all night if your Son was in hospital and you had no idea what was wrong with him?

I know I couldn't...and if I had to 'cause a scene' (which I wouldn't as there are ways to get yourpoint across) then I wouldn't give 2 tosses so long as I knew my baby was ok.