my son wants to get custody for his son

Loopy_Girl

tweetie_pie wrote: »

well according to the doctors health visitor and social worker it is dangerous to give a baby calpol under 3 months he was given it at the hospital because of his tummy but the nurses up there told us then that its only should be used in emergency situations and only once or twice not how we think she is
I would rather listen to experts on calpol thats why i said they were all worried if it was so harmless they wouldnt have put a police alert out to find her or the baby

Most parents would use Calpol in emergency situations. The paracetomol in it is a medicine like any other and could be claimed to be 'dangerous' if not used properly which is probs why the police were looking for her.

Next time you are in the supermarket though, check the boxes and they say suitable from 2 months and I am sure there are many many hundreds of parents who gave it to their kids at their 8 week jab.

If it was 'dangerous' then it would have been licensed to give at 8 weeks. Years ago the advice was 3 months and over but it changed.

tweetie_pie_3

clearing_out_my_pockets wrote: »

OP you need to find out (if possible) what drugs your grandson's mother is meant to be taking. This is important because your son has had unprotected sex with this woman.

On a separate issue, have you advised your son to get checked for STIs? If your son wasn't sure if the child was his, that implies that there were other partners.

She was a past drug user and there were reports she was stoned through pregnancy
yes there were several partners around that time and my son has been checked out and thankfully all clear thankyou for the advice though

tweetie_pie_3

lynzpower wrote: »

Hi there

Sorry to hear you have had such an accusatory response on here. Bloody shocking really

Your best bet is to Speak to the social workers.

The reason often why they dont accomodate babies is that they can form multiple attachments in the early months, and would not do so unless it was urgent. Indeed, foster caring can cost over 500pw, so they have to make sure for everyone there is value for money.

Clearly the SWs wouldnt be involved unlkess they had significant concerns, so ignore all those "it cant be" brigade. Yes it is possible to overfeed very newborns, after all it shuts them up doesnt it .

http://www.fnf.org.uk/ in your shoes Id phone these Families Need fathers, I believe the info line is very good.

Alternatively, you might want to speak to the social worker and ask where they would recommend you get advice from

Good luck x

hi thankyou so much for your advice and yes the social worker and family centre worker have told me to get a residency(sp) order in place and to seek legal advice because there is a lot more i could say about the mums side of the family but i put all that aside and still do try and support the mum and have him a lot but id like her to try and bond with her baby but she hasnt and says she doesnt want him but its her mum that stops her from giving him up i do feel sorry for her cos she craves her mums love because she was put in care so does wot shes told so her mum accepts her its a sad situation and we just want what is best for the little one

System

Fang wrote: »

The pill doesn't protect against STDs. Why was your son having unprotected sex? Why is he not dealing with this?

what difference does it make now ?
it sounds like he wants to take responsability and good on him, see about legal aid and do whatever you have to do.

tweetie_pie_3

JBD wrote: »

If he did use a condom and it split then it was an accident therefore he wasn't tricked. Which is it?. When you say things like that it implys that the girl was in the wrong when she may well not be. You might find people were more supportive if you didn't contradict yourself.
People have given you plenty of advice, really no one on the forum knows the full facts therefore you are best advised to take legal advice.

if some1 tells u that they r on the pill and they r not what is that called he had the sense to use a condom but it split but to be honest this is about his son he hasnt regretted being a dad his proud to be one

tweetie_pie_3

nottslass wrote: »

But he wont be living at home forever.

It would be an absolute tragedy if a child was taken from its birth mother and placed in the care of a father who cannot commit to be responsible for the child for the next 18 years and then decided to up and leave in a few years thus leaving the child in your care ?

Its Your son and not you that. has to decide on the long term welfare and commitment to the Baby - for the child's sake.

He is fine with that and he is happy to take on the responsibility of his son he has a loving family around him so he will never be alone
I sat him down and explained all this to him but he says i want my son looked after and i know he will be better off with me with support and the social workers agree its just getting evidence so they put it and so far there is plenty teenage parties in her flat which is a mother and baby unit etc etc

nottslass_2

tweetie_pie wrote: »

well according to the doctors health visitor and social worker it is dangerous to give a baby calpol under 3 months he was given it at the hospital because of his tummy but the nurses up there told us then that its only should be used in emergency situations and only once or twice not how we think she is
I would rather listen to experts on calpol thats why i said they were all worried if it was so harmless they wouldnt have put a police alert out to find her or the baby

But the accusation that she was supposedly giving the child too much calpol was found to be untrue - if there really was any concern then a simple blood test would have shown how much was in the babys system.

Just done a quick google and brings up the dosage of calpol for a 2 month old baby and recommends usage for after vaccinations - Hardly an emergency. My GP gave me this advice also.

Sorry there are too many inconsistencies in your posts and most of what is being said re the childs mother appears to be "hear say".

I'm not suggesting that you don't have the childs welfare at heart but if you start to take legal action and the court decides that the accusations are unfounded then then both you and your son run the risk of being excluded from the babies life.

Social services obviously have no immediate serious concerns or they would have removed the child from its mothers care by now - and this is what the courts will look at when making any decisions.

tweetie_pie_3

lwc86 wrote: »

Hi op

Im very new 2 this site & i can not believe some of the replys you have had to this,infact it makes me cringe.

My mom always taught me if you dont have something nice to say dont say anything at all, You are asking for advise about legal aid & certain people on this site are having ago at your parenting skills, they must have such perfect lives

I dont have any advice to offer you, I just wanted to say well done for trying to support this grandchild, and good luck, im sure your son will do a great job at bringing up his child with your help and support x

thankyou so much for this post i was starting to think this forum wasnt like it used to be with helpful ppl offering advice and not judging and id like to say thankyou to the others that have also been friendly and not judged but gave me advice what i asked for

tweetie_pie_3

JBD wrote: »

I was simply questioning what the OP said in her 1st post, ie that her son was 'tricked' into pregnancy. Part of parenting male children is to make them aware of their own responsibility in avoiding pregnancy and not simply dumping the blame onto the female. So yes, I do consider that a parental responsibility. And I do have sons so I do consider it my responsibility.
If he did use a condom and it split then they were both unlucky. However the OP did not say that in her 1st post.

I didnt think it was needed to say that so im sorry if i didnt make my post clearer

tweetie_pie_3

BeccaBell wrote: »

Sounds to me as though the babies mother needs some help (not from her own who comes across as a bit of a mess herself.

Tweetie I can understand your concern for your grandson, but it sounds like to me his mother is depressed and needs help. The "I cant be bothered" attitude may be disinterest or laziness but it also might be something worse. Her own chaotic upbringing mixed with perhaps feeling like a failure to her son (her mum overfeeding and you obviously being the most responsible carer) is reason enough for concern. I know there are women out there who have no affection for their children but (I hope) they are few and far between.

I have suggested she goes to the doctors ive suggested counselling about dealing with her own past social workers have suggested groups 4 her to bond with baby
we were all present at the core meeting as he is under child protection(sorry forgot to say that in my first post)and she was swearing at everyone went to walk out i persuaded her to stay and talk things through her mum just sat there
but she fakes her illnesses so she dont have her baby like i had him last weekend cos she was so ill but she went out drinking
i cant help anymore i have tried everything and as the baby is getting older shes getting worse and we are worried