my son wants to get custody for his son

lynzpower

tweetie_pie wrote: »

Yes i agree his already gone to a parent skills group and will be looking at other groups
The sw has already suggested we make a diary of things said and done as there has been a lot and its easy to get confused
Yes we are prepared to share care and we do have a lot of support i am quite prepared to work with the social workers but this is what they have suggested as they said its not fair on the little1 to be in so many homes and needs to be looked after properly in 1 home which we agree with thanks for your advice

If you are already doing all those things then it definitely seems to me that you are on the right lines! With the support of the SW and some steely grit, it sounds like you will get there

Good luck with your solicitor

Fang_3

So you have the baby, the social workers want you to have the baby, you've been told what to do - so what advice do you want? Sympathy?

tweetie_pie_3

balletshoes wrote: »

tweetiepie I sympathise with you - my brother is going through a similar situation at the moment. Do as the social work suggest, get a residency order put in place and then sort out a solicitor.
My brother now has an interim full residency order, baby's mum only has supervised access (agreed in court and supported by social work departments report and recommendation), but it is most days. What I would advise is, during this whole process, you and your family need to be as accommodating as possible to your GS mum and family - the more you show yourselves to be reasonable with access etc, the less chance anyone has of coming back at you with allegations of interference/creating barriers between baby and his mum/mum's family. Keep any threatening/abusive texts which may come from mum's side once you have been to court for the interim order. I know this all sounds daunting, but unfortunately this has been my brother's experience so far - and he has the social work totally on his side. Sadly in our case, baby's mum is doing herself no favours with regard to baby, she arranges other things on access days, sends horrific texts to my brother etc etc. I still don't think that its sunk in with her that my brother isn't going to just lay down, give up, and give his daughter back to her full time.

Others have made very good points so far - you and your son will need to have the finances to look after the child (my brother hasn't received child benefit or tax credits yet, and its been about 2 months now that he has had sole care of baby). You and your son also need to be aware that this is a lifetime commitment - my brother and niece are living at my mum's, she's 65, and in good health. I'm amazed at how well she is coping with the sleepless nights, tantrums, complete upheaval in her routine etc etc. I have nothing but admiration for her (and my brother, but he's cared for baby since she was born, and so is more used to it).
If social work are concerned, and have advised you to get residency, and you are prepared and ready to do this, then I think thats admirable.

thanks and i also do understand how your brother feels again the mum is also not doing herself any favours by making it aukward for sw to see baby walking out of meeting swearing etc and yes we r the calm ones the ones that are trying to make her see sense but it hasnt worked she tries every excuse possible not to look after her baby ill then go night clubbing hurt her leg so cant walk but was seen by a sw walking to the shops the list goes on its sad cos every time were away from the baby we worry and want him to be with 1 of his parents that shows him love so sad and yes we have got more things here than the mum all we need is to pick up baby we have got everything else
and i mean everything lol

tweetie_pie_3

Errata wrote: »

Then I don't understand what your problem is. Keep the baby if you believe that by handing him back to his mother he will be inappropriately fed and poisoned with OTC meds.

I think its best to actually sort it out legally and try to without any trouble if we keep him then her mum would be up here causing trouble and thats not fair on a baby to be in that environment

tweetie_pie_3

agscully wrote: »

Which of the above is true ? ( highlighted in red ) Also how do you intend to support the child if he lived with you, your previous thread mentioned you not able to work due to an injury , your partner not working and you only getting child benefit , what would you support your grandchild with ?

when he was first born the other grandmother had him a lot because we didnt know then that he was my sons child but she still brought him up to see us
now we know his my sons we basically have him a lot most weekends friday to monday morning wednesday during the day this week i thought id let her care 4 him more well thinking she would but shes asking on f/b if any1 can have him fri sat nights my injuiry is my achilles tendon and im having physio and its a lot better my partner has got a job now
I am basically paying for everything he needs now for over half the week so its not going to be much more i have been on this forum years so learnt a lot of money saving tips we have enough clothes for triplets up until his a year i go to car boots and generally money save like i said we have everything here he needs and plenty of family to help i have already got a travel system swinging crib bath travel cot safety gates safety equipment cupboard locks etc i do like to be organised because there may be a time we r a little short so thats why i plan ahead and get things when we can

tweetie_pie_3

Fang wrote: »

So you have the baby, the social workers want you to have the baby, you've been told what to do - so what advice do you want? Sympathy?

What are on............ another clueless person i bet
It is better to go the correct way to get a residency order or would you prefer me to just take him have all their family up here shouting and screaming in front of my children and grandchild. we do not want to cause any trouble we just want a loving and stable home for the little1 and it is better to do it the way the sw says because they are the experts in this field

and y on earth would i need sympathy

Catblue

tweety, you don't need to reply individually to every single person who has posted on here, honestly. Though it is nice of you to take the time.

Just ignore those folks who post irrelevant advice or ask questions that you don't need to answer. You really don't have to justify yourself. If you keep posting even more stuff about your own personal situation, then others will keep commenting on it. It gets neverending on here sometimes and tends to take the focus away from the one issue on which you really want advice.

Fang_3

tweetie_pie wrote: »

What are on............ another clueless person i bet
It is better to go the correct way to get a residency order or would you prefer me to just take him have all their family up here shouting and screaming in front of my children and grandchild. we do not want to cause any trouble we just want a loving and stable home for the little1 and it is better to do it the way the sw says because they are the experts in this field

and y on earth would i need sympathy

Again - what is it that you want? You seem to know what you're going to do and how you go about it. Social Services have apparently told you.

If Social Services have told you what to do and crucially, how to do it, what possible reason do you have for asking for advice on here? You seem to be adding a lot of unneccessary detail to your posts, which is just clouding the matter.

Pixiechic

Hi Tweetie,

I have found your post's quite difficult to read but from what I can fathom, is that you have the baby 4 days, maybe more a week. Having regular access is surely a good thing if the Social Worker promotes it.

If your son is willing to bring his son up and the mother confirms that she does not want the child. You agree to support your Son and Grandson in your home and social services agree that. Then you don't seem to have a problem?

I believe that you are now gathering evidence in order to prove neglect, is that correct? Why do you need to do that if she doesn't want the child?

Is his immediate wellbeing your concern here? What is the main point that you are trying to make?

I apologise for asking you to repeat yourself.

tweetie_pie_3

the point is the sw want us to get a residency order as they know he will be looked after better by us but the mum says she dont want him but her mum wont let her give him up and as she wants to be accepted by her mother she goes along with it
Her mum the grandmother wanted another baby but health stopped her so she dont want baby to go
but i cant sit bk and let her neglect him like she did her daughters but she knows if her daughter lose the baby she has as well
the last thing i wanted was to take baby away cos of her past but she clearly doesnt want him we have all tried and sw do not want grandmother to look after baby cos of the way she neglected her own
but as mum hasnt neglected him as such its grandmother its a difficult situation