my son wants to get custody for his son

Loopy_Girl

With all due respect, if SS are involved and asking you to take the baby then I would have thought that they would have been a mine of information?

Why would he need Legal Aid? If SS have said there is a clear case of neglect (have they?) and a family member is willing to take the child in then surely SS would help with everything?

Bear in mind though that you have slated her as a Mother - will your Son fare any better as a full time parent? Am assuming that the g/f is pretty young - it's hard learning to be a parent and going on a 4 day bender doesn not a bad parent maketh.

lynzpower

Hi there

Sorry to hear you have had such an accusatory response on here. Bloody shocking really

Your best bet is to Speak to the social workers.

The reason often why they dont accomodate babies is that they can form multiple attachments in the early months, and would not do so unless it was urgent. Indeed, foster caring can cost over 500pw, so they have to make sure for everyone there is value for money.

Clearly the SWs wouldnt be involved unlkess they had significant concerns, so ignore all those "it cant be" brigade. Yes it is possible to overfeed very newborns, after all it shuts them up doesnt it .

http://www.fnf.org.uk/ in your shoes Id phone these Families Need fathers, I believe the info line is very good.

Alternatively, you might want to speak to the social worker and ask where they would recommend you get advice from

Good luck x

tweetie_pie_3

wearethedx16 wrote: »

What a miserable bunch of uppity posters we have here. The lady needs advice, not ticking off. Get theeself to Citizens Advice pronto. Think about what the reality of having a baby (feeding & cleaning for yourself & son/grandson) in the house full time and have a proper chat with your boy and find out what his plans are (if you can, leave emotions to one side). This should be your plan for the next month. Until you can action any of the points, try to be as supportive as you can to the Mum also, babysitting and helping out if possible. They’ll thank you for it.

I have him about 4 days in a week now sometimes more and my son knows she doesnt want him ever since they split up she hasnt bonded with baby
I was supporting her and giving her advice i still do but its diofficult when she dont even look at her baby let alone feed him
its a sad case and if i thought she wanted him id never take him away from her but every day she asks me to have him we even got her in baby massage classes to bond but she couldnt b bothered to go thanks for the advice and i will seriously consider things but i feel as if he lives here already as we have him a lot but everytime his with mum for a few days his ill
I just want him to feel loved and in a stable home which i really thought she would want him as she was taken into care ive even suggested her going to the docs for counselling so i have tried everything to help
she said 2 weeks ago she didnt want him i sed look have a free w/end i will have him but u need to think carefully b4 u decide and her mum rang up said her daughters missing him so i took him down there and she wasnt there she had a weekend of fun as she put it

RAS

tweetie pie

just come on here and am really shocked by the unhelpfu land judgemental behaviour of some of the newer posters on here. They seem to think they have come to one of the red-tops, not MSE.

Just to remind folks of the MSE mantra - please be nice to other posters, thrse forums are for help and advice not judgement.

tweetie - if your son goes to a lawyer on his own account, he will be eligible for some sort of legal aid. How much is another matter, as they will not want to fund a major war between competing parents.

He needs to start paying his minimum CSA - £6.60 and make arrangements for visits.

JBD

tweetie_pie wrote: »

I cant believe all of this i came on here for advice the social worker advised me to seek it and i thought as i have always been helped on here and yes ive registered under a different name id get the advice i needed and the helpful ppl this forum used to be full of
I have given all my children advice about when they feel ready to have sex i have bought them condoms and he did use 1 but it split but thought it was ok cos she was on the pill
I didnt expect to come on here and have my parenting skills put down thankyou for all those that have given me helpful advice as this is what this forum is for, i have never judged ppl the way a lot of you have
I am really shocked at how you think u have the right to judge and yes it is a difficult situation and yes there is a lot more i could say about this situation but cant cos of their privacy etc all i asked was about how to go about it and legal aid

If he did use a condom and it split then it was an accident therefore he wasn't tricked. Which is it?. When you say things like that it implys that the girl was in the wrong when she may well not be. You might find people were more supportive if you didn't contradict yourself.
People have given you plenty of advice, really no one on the forum knows the full facts therefore you are best advised to take legal advice.

tweetie_pie_3

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

With all due respect, if SS are involved and asking you to take the baby then I would have thought that they would have been a mine of information?

Why would he need Legal Aid? If SS have said there is a clear case of neglect (have they?) and a family member is willing to take the child in then surely SS would help with everything?

Bear in mind though that you have slated her as a Mother - will your Son fare any better as a full time parent? Am assuming that the g/f is pretty young - it's hard learning to be a parent and going on a 4 day bender doesn not a bad parent maketh.

like i said before it is the other grandmother that is looking after him most of the time so not the mother and like some1 else said these r quite common things he has had wrong with him although we have seen ourselves the mum doesnt want him but its her mum that stops her giving him up but she has been told to go bk to her flat with her baby but she wont cos that will mean her having to look after him
we went down there saturday to a screaming sobbing baby he was so pale i thought id have to take him to hospital
I only want whats best for my grandson which is love security stability and to get into a proper routine

RAS

JBD wrote: »

If he did use a condom and it split then it was an accident therefore he wasn't tricked. Which is it?. When you say things like that it implys that the girl was in the wrong when she may well not be. You might find people were more supportive if you didn't contradict yourself.
People have given you plenty of advice, really no one on the forum knows the full facts therefore you are best advised to take legal advice.

Leave off the bullying.

It is quite possible that he thought that the split condom did not matter because the girl said was on the pill, but she was not or is too disorganised to use it safely or behaves in ways that negate its effects.

Stop picking imaginary holes and address the issue on which the OP asked for advice.

pelirocco

JBD wrote: »

It was still your son's responsibility to use a condom. If you don't understand that then I have to question your own suitability at parenting.

Oh for goodness sake ,

nottslass_2

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

That is true. However, there is a 'night-time' Calpol that can be purchased from the chemist which although doesn't 'dope' babies/children, it does have an ingredient that can help settle them.

Of course if it is being abused (which it will be without a doubt by certain parents) then they don't stick to the guidelines of 1 x 5ml dose - they give far far more to get a 'better effect'.

All it takes is for one 'parent' to say it had an effect and then it sweeps through a group like wildfire,

Night time calpol is only licenced for children over the age of 6 - if a 8 week baby was regularly being given this the child would have been seriuosly overdosed, ended up in hospital or worse

JBD

RAS wrote: »

Leave off the bullying.

It is quite possible that he thought that the split condom did not matter because the girl said was on the pill, but she was not or is too disorganised to use it safely or behaves in ways that negate its effects.

Stop picking imaginary holes and address the issue on which the OP asked for advice.

Not bullying at all. The OP said that her son was tricked into the pregnancy. She was the one who mentioned it and it came across to me as if she was trying to paint the girl in a bad light and absolve the son from responsibility. They were both responsible and I would take that stance if it was my own son/daughter.
If the OP didn't want anyone to mention it then why did she bring it up? Surely we can comment on every point made.